Christmas, Inappropriate Cards, Light Up Pajamas, and Jane Lynch

Merry Christmas, everyone! And to those of you who don't celebrate it, Merry-Just-Like-Every-Other-Day-Only-Nothing-Is-Open-So-You-Can't-Get-Anything-Done. We got our dryer, and my curmudgeon of a tooth is gone, so I am ready to spread glee across the land with a few of my favorite Christmas things.

There are four things that have nothing to do with anything important or sentimental that I love, all of which I've been blessed with this Christmas. I promise I won't get mushy on you. These things don't include specific people, so you're free to love on these things, too.

One is the Christmas pajamas I am wearing. I am a reindeer lover from way back in the day, and not only are these pajamas reindeer pajamas, but they light up. Yep, that's right, my pajamas light up. Be jealous. This is always good until I actually go to sleep, and then wake up panicked and wondering why the aliens have come to abduct me because there's lights coming from my chest. Needless to say, it's safer for me to not actually sleep in them, but instead wear them to show off before bed. If I were to sleep in them, I'd end up in andelusions of alien abduction rehab facility. They do have rehab for things like that, don't they?

One of my other favorite things is Jane Lynch. She was on The View the other day, and I toughed out watching a show I don't particularly enjoy just to see her. What always disappoints me is that she's praised for all her roles in funny things, because she is a funny lady. What people always, always pass up is her role on Criminal Minds. They act like she's never been on that show, because she's not funny in it, whereas I think she should be highly praised for it for that reason. It takes a lot of talent for a naturally funny women to play the schizophrenic mom of Dr. Reid, who lives in a sanitarium. If you want to see her act to the best of her phenomenal ability, it's her role in that show that you want to see.

The next two things I love I am just going to show you. The first one is inappropriately obscure Christmas cards. Every year I hope and pray to Santa that we'll end up with at least one. This year we hit the mother load and ended up with three. One I'm not going to post, because it's not the card itself that is inappropriately obscure. It's the fact that it was sent from the funeral home where my gram was laid to rest. Yes, we got a Christmas card from a funeral home. It's just so ironic at this time of year that I can't quite find the words to express it.

Then, my mom's friend Charlene stopped over with a card for each of us. And, Charlene being Charlene, both cards were screamingly inappropriately obscure, which is why I like her so dang much. The below is my card. No copyright infringement is intended.

The best part? The inside said "I picked this card just for you." Yep, it went there

The next card was my mom's. I guess there's various versions of this card, but it doesn't get any less funny. I'm going to start stealing both lines from this card when appropriate.


And drum roll please. The inside says:

I also love these Purina Pawtraits. So from Greta Hayley and myself, to you and yours, we wish you a happy holiday season, and hope Santa fulfills all your wishes this year. Now, we must get to bed before the big guy refuses to come. Merry Christmas!