About to Get Beat Up By "Gleeks" and The Needle Apocalypse

I have a very anti-climatic story about coffee. Christmas coffee. And because it is specifically about Christmas coffee, its non-climatic nature is null and void.

Last week, while in Target, I spotted Starbucks Christmas Blend coffee. I was so there, only I didn't have the money to get it. No worries, I'd be getting my money in a few days and I'd come back for it. So I did, only at a different Target, since I sit right smack dab in between two. That Target did not have any of the coffee. I'm going to be dramatic for blogging purposes and say that I was absolutely crushed and astounded by this. I may have even cried a little, you know...for blogging purposes.

No worries, my hopes and dreams could still come true. I would simply go to the other Target, where I was previously at and they had tons, and I'd get it there. A few days went by. I didn't have the chance to get to that Target. My mom was heading that way. You can see where this is going. This should be the happily ever after, only she couldn't find anything but the decaf, so she didn't get it. Again, I became completely over dramatic for blogging purposes only. I also told her I would have been okay with decaf.

She was going by there again yesterday, and by some act of the Christmas Angels from Heaven above, there was still some decaf left and she bought it and brought it home, and now I am in complete coffee bliss. I never had the Christmas Blend before, but I knew I had to try it. It just sounded like I would be drinking Christmas, which should, for all intents and purposes, make my insides light up like a Christmas tree. If my insides were lit up, that meant they were happy, right? Just go with me on this.

Here is my recipe for a fabulous cup of coffee, on top of a fabulous blend. Buy this. I'm sure you can buy this version, which is simply the regular version, but my mom picked the first one up from the Starbucks in Target, even though the receipt was from Target and not Starbucks, where they took the bag, opened it, and ground the beans down to grainy form in front of her, so it may be a little more fresh. I don't know how all of that works. Use a teaspoon and a half per two cups of coffee if you like your coffee strong, but not so much that it gags you. Add a half of a teaspoon of sugar, then a dash of cinnamon. Do yourself a favor and buy some of this. It isn't too chocolaty, but it gives your already pre-spiced, merry coffee a little kick. Add about a teaspoon and a half of this. Top off with some good old whipped cream. I promise, you can still taste the coffee strongly and prominently, but all of these things just make this the happiest cup of coffee on earth. If that coffee turned into an amusement park, it would trump Disney. Sorry, Disney.

And while you're drinking that coffee, you could really get into the Christmas mood and start ruthlessly sewing Christmas presents left and right. If you're like me, you'll quickly realize that you're having issues finding things, because almost a year ago you inherited a sewing machine from your grandmother. If you're me, you'd also decide that now was the time to merge her stuff with your own so that you weren't constantly going through the stuff separately to find out if either one of you owned something you were looking for; you could just go through it together now.

I should have known this was going to be the worst, best idea ever when I decided to do it. I also should have known it would take me no less than four hours. It wasn't my stuff that was a mess, it was hers. The highlight, however, was realizing I inherited over three hundred needles from her. Don't adjust your eyes. After I saw the stack of needles neatly packed inside those little paper packages you used to get for free back in the day, I figured as I took them out and condensed them from over twenty of those to one itty bitty canister to save room, I should start counting. I have no idea what kind of apocalypse she thought she'd need all those needles for that she was saving them, or what the proper sentiment here would be, but uh...I have needles. If anyone ever breaks in, I may not have any good weapons, but I have needles. Don't even get me started on the number of pins she left me.

When I finally escaped needle hell, I was flipping through the channels looking for something to watch. I came across Glee. You guys, I know Glee is major and there's even people affectionately called "Gleeks," but there's always been something on opposite of the show, so I never saw anything but the pilot episode. I know this is hard to believe considering I am a singer, and Jane Lynch is by far my favorite actress. I'm a little pissed at Glee for taking her away and not allowing her to continue to guest star as Spencer Reid's mom on Criminal Minds, where she played a schizophrenic and was amazing at it. But there was nothing on, so I digress.

This is going to sound much dumber when you read it than it sounded in my head, but I did not realize Glee was a musical. Yes, I know, I know. I realized there was an abundance of singing, but I was foolishly mistaken that the show was a real, normal show about the Glee Club and other romances, that led up to a musical they put on at the end of the show, and only at the end of the show. I actually thought I'd like Glee more, but I have a few bones to pick here.

The cast is talented, no doubt, but I think some of the more talented people are not getting the spotlight and I was disappointed. There are also some sequences that are so spot on and amazing, such as this one. That version contains Britney and Madonna singing. Here is the one with the Glee girls singing, minus the video, because I couldn't find it. It was so dead on with the video, and that little blonde can sing. I much prefer the tone of her voice of Lea Michelle's, which is no offense to Lea; she's amazing, but I'm not a huge fan of her tone. That's nothing she can really help, though. I'm sure plenty of people hate my tone, too.

But it seemed like they either hit their stride with a musical scene, or completely missed the mark. The scenes were either really, really incredibly well thought out and bang on, or they were really cheesy and stupid. There didn't seem to be an in between. Sometimes the show became so full of cheese lint that I had to change the channel until the sequence was over. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's because of my lack of love for musicals, but I must ask, am I the only one that feels this way?

I also ask that no Gleeks kill me. Thank you.