Dear Cassadee - Part Two

Today I would like to finish yesterday’s post by adding more song that help you get by in hard times. But first thing is first.

I would like to thank Zoe for her wonderful comment. Going through what I did definitely made me stronger. You’re welcome for the advice given, and if you ever want to talk about your situation, my email is in my profile. You can always feel free to email me. I will talk things out with you from an objective point of view. I really hope whatever is going on with you also makes you stronger, and that you get through it with the poise and grace that I know you hold inside.

I guess at the end of the day, after all these years, the only thing I know how to say is that boys will be boys. We will never understand them or them us, but we make due. Sometimes it’s not easy and sometimes it just clicks, but if the person is right for you, through all the trial and fire, you will always end up together in the end. Learning to let go when it’s not right is the hardest thing to do, but if you follow both your heart and your gut, you will always know what to do. It may not be clear right away, or even in a week, but one day you will know with total confidence what is right, and also have the strength to do what you need to do to make yourself happy without hurting the other person. This always happens before you hit rock bottom, even if it hurts and rips you apart. Those scars will heal into new things, and you’ll have a new found hope that you can carry with you into another situation. All the frogs we kiss are there to let us know when we find out Prince.

I don’t know your specific situation, so I’m not sure if that helped. Like I said, if you want to talk it out, please email me. I am here for you.

As for the follow button, I am working on fixing this. I've looked into it and the way I understand, I’m not the only one having this problem. It seems like the follow button just got legs and ran away on several people’s blogs, and now it’s playing hide and seek and no one can find it again. What I’m saying is apparently there’s a Blogger wide game of hide and seek going on, and boy are those follow buttons crafty. As soon as I find out what’s going on or how to fix it, I promise I will get it fixed. If you or anyone else would like me to email you when I update, let me know and I can do so.

Second, I would like to touch on the “Dear Cassadee” advice column I mentioned yesterday. Apparently people thought this would be a good idea, which was something I didn’t expect at all when I had mentioned it. I decided that, if you want me to do a "Dear Cassadee" column, I shall. I thought this out and here are the rules and guidelines. Well, not so much the former as the latter.

*If you would like to submit a question, story or inquiry for advice, you can email me at RubyTwilight@verizon.net or PoetorFraud@verizon.net. You can also contact me through my Facebook page, Myspace page, or leave a comment on the blog. However you want to handle it. If you would like my screen names for AIM or Windows Messenger, they are available upon request. I am very friendly, and if you send me a friend request on any of these ports, I promise to friend you back as well. On a side note, you did not go to the wrong place. That is actually me. Cassadee Willows is my pen name.

*You will remain anonymous unless you otherwise specify that you would not like to. This is totally your choice and I respect your privacy, and will not give out any of your information.

*You may ask for advice about anything, no matter how odd. If you want advice on what to do with your rooster that just can’t quite understand how to speak his or her piece at sunrise, but instead does it whenever he wakes his butt up, I can cover that, too. If there is something I find that I can not cover, I will research it, ask around, and if I still can’t come up with a good answer, I will honestly tell you instead of feeding you junk just to do it. That’s not fair to you.

*By contacting me for advice, you understand that I am not a licensed professional and any advice I give is done only to be helpful. You do not have to take my advice, but instead evaluate it to your situation and do what feels right in your heart. No one truly knows what to do but you. I’m just trying to give the best advice I can, and hopefully I'll help you to find a way to help you best deal with remedy the problem that works best for you.

*If you feel I did not cover your problem correctly, feel free to email me or leave a comment telling me what I did completely wrong and I promise to fix it in the best way possible.

*If you want advice on something, or would just like someone to talk to about an event in your life, but don’t want it on the blog, feel free to contact me. I will be happy to lend an ear. If I do not get back to you immediately, please don’t be offended. All inquiries will usually be answered within 24 to 48 hours unless, for some reason, I can absolutely not get to a computer. As long as I get your message, I will not ignore you.

*If you have any other questions about the guidelines, just ask.

Third, I would like to tell a cute little story. Aunt Bev is in her sixties. Today she called my mom and this is the end of the conversation I heard in a nutshell. “Just pull on the cord on the side...you know what, no, don’t even do it. I will come over and help you. DO NOT TRY TO MOW YOUR LAWN YOURSELF! DON’T DO IT!” Apparently age is just a number, because she has no idea how to start a lawn mower, far more how to use it on the grass. I love my Aunt Bev.

Now I shall move onto part two of yesterday’s post, continuing with songs that move me, and are helpful in many situations, but especially through situations pertaining to heartache.

Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance - This song hits me in a very personal place. I have never had a friend take their own life, but I’ve had a friend try. When I hear words to songs, I often find myself picturing the story the song is telling. This one goes in with a one-two punch, and ends with a knockout that reminds me of just how difficult it is to lose someone in any sense.

I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield - This song illustrates so dearly how one feels when entering into a new relationship after having loved and lost. It speaks of insecurities and walls we put up, as well as facades we put on. It’s a lover’s cry for help, begging someone to be as gentle as possible, even if you can’t convey the words you wish to.

Underneath It All by No Doubt - This is one of those songs where both the music and lyrics tell a story. The music will remind you of a warm day on the beach with a Pina Colada, while the lyrics tell of falling in love and the honeymoon stage of a relationship. This song is everything it should be. We often attach love with easy, simple feelings, when that’s not at all what it ends up to be, but at the beginning when everything is just so easy, this song becomes the soundtrack to it.

Suffocated by Orianthi - I don’t know how many of you have heard of this girl, but she was a guitarist for Michael Jackson’s ill fated "This Is It" tour. The girl is wicked with both her guitar and her vocals. This is one of those songs that takes the rawness of a relationship, the bad blood, and the murdered ending, and puts it all on the line. It doesn’t hold any of the mess or fight back. It admits fault and anger, while also telling the other person just how you think things should be for them now that it's all fallen apart.

Believe by Orianthi - Believe is a complete different story from the last one. It’s about seeing someone and knowing that’s who you want, and they are the one for you. Then it all goes to hell, because you do get that person, but you’re not longer yourself with them. Even still, you want to keep believing in love. You want to and will go on. There’s more out there than just the person that was once in front of you. It’s about not giving up.

She Had the World by Panic at the Disco - This song illustrates so beautifully how someone can have everything they want, the world can be in their hands, but they’re are still sad because the person the really want is the one thing they can never have.

Unhearted by Automatic Loveletter - This is one of those songs that absolutely no one could sing but Juliet Simms. You feel her pain and you get so engrossed in her story that, after awhile, you begin to feel lucky, because you know she’s been through what you’ve been through but one worse. She’s telling her own story while telling a story everyone is similar with in a delicately beautiful manner that makes your heart twinge.

Brighter by Paramore - Even though this person is leaving and walking away, you still want them to know that they are one of the shining stars in your life. No matter how it ended, they always will be. It’s a plea for them to not leave, but an understanding that the chips will fall as they may and you will not think less of the person for it.

Turn It Off by Paramore - Everyone has found themselves between a rock and a hard place, and then sliding slowing down the side of a cliff until they can’t see the light anymore. Everyone has dealt with balancing their pride and finding where vulnerability turns into beauty once all the spite clears. This song represents that. It shows that two people with the same condition can’t be cured unless one lets themselves fall just to find themselves again.

Hallelujah by Paramore - This song is simply about not giving up so you can fall in love, but has the complexity to describe what everyone has felt at one point in a relationship. It’s about waking up and trying to find your way out of your feelings, but you’re still falling in love and can’t see an end to it.

It's All Your Fault by Pink - What I love about this album particularly is that it comes from a place of vulnerability, whereas Pink is known for her songs about kicking ass and taking names later. She lets her guard down and shows that love can break even the strongest people. She lays it all on the line in this song, while still putting her own limitations on the person, because she’s not the kind of girl to sit and wait around, even though it’s so clear she would do anything and wait as long as she had to just to have this person.

Who Knew by Pink - This song reminds me of one particular person, and if I could ever listen to this song without crying I would start to wonder if I ever really cared for that person. It says everything I’ve wanted to say and can’t. It’s about believing what someone tells you when they are right in front of you, only to watch them twist and change, and then do the inevitable. It’s about loss and how it haunts you. It’s about remembering and hurting. She opens up her chest and rips her own heart out for this one.

Another Love Story by Play - In relationships there will always be a stronger person and a person who is still trying to heal from another relationship. This song is about being the strong one who understands what the other has been through, and is willing to help them fix it, but at the same time they are doing it by giving them tough love. Get up and scrape yourself back off. Show me something inside of you and I will take care of all of your fears. It’s about subtle trust.

What If I Leave by Rachel Yamagata - This song plays devil’s advocate. It deals with the fact of being with someone who doesn’t give you what you need, but being so head over heels that you bleed for them continuously just to keep them. You realize you can’t continue to do this, so you toy with the idea of leaving, but you don’t know if you could get that foot out of the door. You wonder what would happen if you did.

I Don’t Miss You At All by Selena Gomez - What I particularly love about this song is that it’s different from the other songs on this list. It’s about truly being over someone, but at the same time, you feel the need to gleefully announce this to everyone. In its own way, though, it also plays devil’s advocate by telling the person that you hope they don’t call, because to boys that usually means that they will call you. This is a more lighthearted song that really socks it to someone at the same time and is clearly meant to break someone’s heart the way they broke yours. It’s a revenge song it its own right.

In the Sun by She and Him - This song has all the cheekiness of an old jazz song, mixed with heavy toned vocals via Zooey Deschanel. The lyrics are hard, but the music is upbeat and fun, and the chorus makes you outright want to dance. This song embodies looking at a bad situation from a perky point of view without becoming cheesy.

Perfect World by Simple Plan - "In a perfect world, you would still be here." Nothing is perfect. Nothing ever will be, but that doesn’t mean we’ll stop relying on perfection and hoping that it comes through for us just once.

Smoke + Mirrors by Skye Sweetnam - The opening lines in this song immediately let you know about the singer’s admitted naivety, leaving it all on the line. Then the song takes a turn and tells about how the person will keep fighting no matter what it takes, no matter how naive they are. They will not give up, because they will come out on the brighter side and prevail. We can all take a lesson from this.

I’m Only Me When I’m With You by Taylor Swift - There’s something about this song that just makes me feel good. As I said before, I visualize the story the person is telling, and there’s a certain romance to sitting underneath the stars with someone who is strictly just yours and no one else’s. They belong to themselves, and their heart is shared with you. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, this song lifts me up and gives me the warm and fuzzies like no other. I want to be the girl in this story and I want to experience this for myself.

Rinse by Vanessa Carlton - “She would suffer, she would fight and compromise.” When you want no one but one person, sometimes you become so blind to what it is that you actually need. When you realize that you can’t live for another person, you realize that person has to go, but that you don’t know how to rinse them away. You know you want the person to know everything you’re feeling, but they never will. Even if they did, you know it won’t make a difference.

In Another Life by The Veronicas - Although I personally have never known this exact story of someone I grew up and fell in love with, there’s a certain romance to it. Even if you haven’t known someone your whole life, there’s always that person that you feel like you have and a little love story develops before you even know it. There are certain lines in this song I find myself singing over and over again with what I’ve gone through. It speaks to my core. Note the lines: “I was in love with your memory.” and “You know I love you, I really do, but I can’t fight anymore for you.”

Cigarettes by The Wreckers - I am far from a country girl at the same time that I am far from anything but. There’s a lot of country where I live, and although heart and soul I want more than this, this is what I am and where I came from. I know what it’s like to listen to sad songs as you drive around the back roads in the complete quiet of the dead of night, and think about finding that one person you won’t have to compromise yourself for. I’ve been this girl, minus the cigarettes. Don’t smoke, guy. It’s icky.

A Secret Worth Keeping by The Fire Restart - There’s not anything I can say about this song that will describe how it gets under your skin and digs there unapologetically. If you need a song to scream to, this is the one.

Here It Goes by Ok Go - This has nothing to do with the song, but there's no way you can watch this video and still be sad. No freaking way.

Hopefully these songs will keep you all busy for awhile. I am going to take things one day at a time with my own situation, because I finally feel free inside. The thing with reconnecting with someone is that you don’t know what to expect, or what you will learn about that person. Sometimes you need to keep that person at arms length once you learn those things, even though you’re dying inside to just hug them, and sometimes that’s the one thing you’re totally okay with and feel whole over. You just need to make sure that person is okay. You don’t have to see them to know that, but if later things settle and you realize it’s time, you have that option to make plans with them.

So guys, I guess the moral of the story is this: everything just needs time.

Dear Cassadee - Part 1

Last year on my blog, I waned over pieces of a story that ended in my blog sounding like an advice column for the lonely and heartbroken. I promised that one day I would tell you all the story of what happened, since it seems I didn’t really tell anyone. It took me a long time to come with terms and make sense of what went on, but finally I’ve been able to and the story has come full circle, so I feel now would be the time that, with an open heart, I can convey to you what all my mysterious parts of puzzle pieces were about.

This is a story that obviously has two sides, since I wasn’t in this alone. I will tell you the story from the most objective point of view possible. To tell you my story, I have to tell you someone else’s at the same time. In order to keep the identity of this person private, I’m not going to mention any names. They will simply be referred to as “Friend.” I know this sounds ominous, but I promise that it’s not. I’m not going to get into the entire debacle of a mess that was made over the past three years, but instead tell the story without making it into a novel, giving you the best liner notes possible without prying too much. This is a post of no excuses and no reasons given for what happened. It just is.

Several years ago I got myself a job at the local electronics store. As it turned out, I was the only girl working on the sales floor. At this time, I was extremely insecure with myself and couldn’t even bring myself to talk to boys, so this was a new challenge for me that I was both scared, but interested in taking on since I was dying to grow as a person. I will be the first to admit that my issues with men stem from my father leaving, and from the treatment he gave me when he was around, but that is another story for another time and place.

Naturally, I was forced to settle in and became less shy with men as time went on, but I found myself still very clueless and vulnerable. I also found myself wanting to explore relationships with men that required being more than just friends. I was twenty at the time and had never had that opportunity. Part of this was because I was shy around men, and the other part was because I was home schooled due to illness through high school, and lacked the interaction I needed.

I met a boy at work who I knew was all wrong for me, but I was always encouraged to date “for experience.” This obviously didn’t go well because I wasn’t that interested in this person, but while dating them I met Friend. Friend was a genuinely sweet guy, who, at the time, had a girlfriend and was going to school to be a psychologist. Little did I know, Friend was about to make a big impact on my life in the most unusual of ways.

After my “relationship” with the guy I wasn’t really interested in, this left me more confused than ever about the world of dating. Friend spent two hours sitting in the car with me after work just talking out my fears and hesitations, and helping me try to make sense of things. You have to understand that this was the first time I had actually held any kind of conversation with Friend, and the first time we’d ever been alone to talk. The fact that he offered to sit and talk with me the way he did said leaps and bounds about the kind of person he was. I decided then and there that I must have this person as a permanent Friend.

A few months went by and we saw each other at work only, but talked all the time, both when we had a chance to at work, and online. In the mean time I had begun to date another guy I wasn’t interested in, only this time it ended even more disastrous. Friend was there.

While the whirlwind of bad relationships, and the fact that I was dating people like my father without realizing it, were setting in, I left my job in search of a new one because I realized the guys I was meeting and were dating there were very toxic. I also realized that the company was poorly ran and difficult to work for. For just over minimum wage, it simply wasn’t worth it.

Friend and I kept in touch no matter what. Friend had expressed his interest in me several times, but would never cheat on his girlfriend, and I would never get involved in anything like that. Truth be told, I saw this person as only a friend, possibly because he had always had the same girlfriend since I knew him, and nothing more. So when he and his girlfriend broke up and things started to develop between us, I wasn’t just surprised, I was scared to death.

This was a person who had gotten me through the worst of times. This person knew everything I hid from everyone else. I trusted this person more than I had ever trusted anyone before. I didn’t want to do anything to mess that up. I had feelings for him I didn’t even know about, but also didn’t know what I was feeling at the same time. No one had looked at me the way he did, and when he said things, I truly knew he meant them. I knew I would be in good hands with him and he’d take nothing but the best care of me. I was unsure, which caused me to be scared. This caused a lot of problems for the both of us.

Before I knew it, we were messing up things all over the place and then walking away from each other, only to come back every six months or so and do it again. Either I wasn’t ready, or he wasn’t ready. This had become a pattern for us, one that I didn’t like but had gotten used to. Just when I thought we had nothing figured out, I realized I was wrong and we had less than nothing figured out, because tragedy struck and absolutely everything changed in every way possible.

Between October and May of 2008 - 2009, I grew up a lot. I realized what my problems were with the men I was picking, and why I was picking them. I had learned to express myself and stand up for myself. I had pulled myself together and found out truly who I was and I was settled into that. The next time Friend came around, I would have it all figured out. I would know what to tell him. Only he told me one worse.

In this time, Friend had gone through a lot which led up to him being in a car accident. This then led him to do several things which I won’t elaborate on, but I was scared for his life. He said he wanted help, so I invited him over to help him find someone to provide the help I so obviously couldn't. The person who showed up at my door was not Friend. They were indeed someone I didn’t know and Friend was gone. I didn’t even know how to react. I felt helpless.

When I told Friend I needed to talk to him and he ignored it, every time I saw him only pretending like he had no idea I had asked to speak with him about something, I knew there wasn't a trace of him left. This was the boy that I spoke to about everything, and who had always dropped everything to listen to me. He spoiled me, I realize, but I had always thought I had done an okay job of having this be a two way thing. Now that was shattered.

Just as I figured out how I really felt for him, that I was in love with him and had been too afraid to admit it, Friend was gone and I was chasing a ghost; a shell that was his, but a spirit that belonged to someone else. I tried to help him, I wanted to, but when he told me in so many words that beer was more important than me, I knew he would never be the same person again. By holding on, I was slowly going to drag myself into a deep depression that I didn’t know if I could get out of. The only option I had to save myself was to let go.

I didn’t handle this correctly. I was rude to Friend next time I saw him. I immediately felt bad and wrote him a letter explaining everything. It was a good letter, one of which I still have, but I never had the guts to give it to him. I knew I had to walk away, and to this day I know I did the right thing, but I also knew that I should have explained things to him. He didn’t deserve the way that I walked away and it bothered me.

However, it was put on the back burner as I went through a hurricane of emotions that ranged from extreme hurt, to awful anger and back again. I was in such disbelief about being in love with someone’s memory, that I couldn’t process anything, so I stopped thinking about it out of force and tried to rebuild everything.

It took me a long time, but more recently I came to terms with the entire situation. That’s when I sincerely started to worry about Friend, and if he was even still alive. I wondered what he was up to if he was, and how he was making out. At first I pushed it away, but then it gnawed at me until I couldn’t take it anymore. It took me awhile, but I finally got the guts to track friend down. I found him on Facebook, friended him, and then proceeded to write him a letter apologizing for the way I had walked away from him. He deserved this apology.

I quite honestly expected to hear nothing back, but I was suddenly completely okay with this. I realized that I had let go of him in so many ways, even though the way I felt for him would always exist. I wasn’t hurting over the situation anymore. What did hurt was how I handled things. I carried this guilt with me, and just being able to apologize that I let my own fears and pride get in the way was enough to lift a weight off of my shoulders that was bigger than I knew I was carrying. I apologized because he deserved it, and I forced myself to let my guard down and be vulnerable because I had to. I didn't do this because I wanted something out of Rriend, or expected anything, but because I needed to do this. He deserved an apology.

Friend did reply to me, and today we got to talking about some things. I have no expectations going into this, but I know that the relationship we had in the past just can not continue. It doesn’t matter if we become friends again, or if we just talk here and there. As long as I know he’s okay, I’m okay. In loving someone, you realize that once all the anger and the madness clears, the only thing that matters, if you really did love them, is that they’re okay. If you could move heaven and earth, you’d want them to be happy, but happiness is up to them and ultimately what they choose to accept. You have no control over them, or the situation. All you can do is be the best person you can be and have faith that things will work out how they are supposed to.

This is where I’m going to sound like an advice column in. I think the things I’ve learned and carried with me over the last year are important to notate here. If my own story can help at least one person go through a tough time, that’s all that will matter to me.

1. Everyone is scared, and no one likes to be vulnerable. If you really care for the person you will be able to push those fears out of the way and stop blaming the other person. You will be able to stop looking for reasons as to why things went the way they did, and stop making excuses. It won’t be today or tomorrow. It may not even be a year from now, but one day you will. It’s how you handle it once you’ve learned to drop your defenses that makes you who you are inside.

2. They always say anger is just masked hurt feelings. I’ve heard people call bull crap on this one, but I can honestly say that’s exactly what anger is. What happens in your past does effect your future, and it can find a way to drag behind you like a ball and chain until you shut yourself down. You can’t do that. Sometimes you have to break the chain and not let it overtake you.

3. Sometimes we spend our lives being the kind of person that we want someone to see us as. We bring parts and pieces of ourselves into this equation, but we never really bring our full selves. That’s when you realize that you haven’t accepted truly who you are. As an adult, you will always like things you liked when you were eight and that is totally okay. Don’t be embarrassed by that. Let your soul sing to whatever tune it wants, and if someone else hears it as out of key, that’s not the right person for you. Only showing them what you want to show them of yourself is not going to get you anywhere but in the arms of the wrong person. It will never be fair to you or them if you let that happen.

4. It is okay and acceptable to go back and apologize to someone almost a year after the fact, as long as you’re doing it for the right reasons. If you do it for self gratification and not because you really mean what you say, you’re only going to dig yourself into a deeper hole. Apologize because you want to and because the person truly deserves it. Don’t apologize because you think you have to.

5. When someone falls into a hole and refuses your help, keep pushing. If they begin to tear a hole in your heart, sometimes you have to walk away and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just make sure that when you do, you let them know why. Don’t antagonize them or badger them. Don’t make them out to be a bad person. Simply tell them that what they are doing to themselves hurts you too badly to sit around and watch them continue to do it. You would be happy to stay if they would just accept help from you and take a leap of faith, but if they have no will to change, you will not stand by and watch them hurt or kill themselves because that is not fair to you. It is not fair to them either, and you think a lot more of them that what they think about themselves. You just want them to see themselves the way that you do. Tell them you will always be there for them if they get in a bind, or really do decide they want to break the habit that even they know is wrong and is going to kill them, but until then you can not sit around while they continue to push you away harder everyday. Tell them that you’re not walking because you don’t care, but for the opposite reason. You love them.

6. Take the time and experience and use it to learn and grow. Time isn’t judgmental and you can borrow as much as you want without having to explain to anyone. Figure out why you do what you do and what makes you tick. Break yourself down and, instead of justifying things, be honest with yourself. This will get you further than pushing the situation out of your mind will, and you will ultimately be a happier person at the end of the day.

7. We all do things for a reason, even the smallest ones. If there’s something you’re doing or have done that you don’t like, take the time to figure out why. Don’t make excuses or blame others, but find what it is inside of yourself that allows you to justify these decisions to yourself even when you know you are wrong. Don’t be afraid to push through it, and don’t let your selfish pride get in the way. This is the hardest thing to do and you will cry, because usually at the end of the gray brick road, are fears and hurt. On the other side, there’s a yellow brick road, and if you’re lucky, you may just see a dancing munchkin or two who have not been squished by Dorothy’s house or been put in harm’s way by The Wicked Witch of the West. You’re protector will be Glenda the Good Witch.

8. Don’t have expectations when reentering a situation. If you do, no matter how small they are, they will always be crushed. Go into the situation unbiased and take what you get out of it. You could get the best outcome possible, or you could get the worst. You could even get the best, but then find out the worst about the person later, or about yourself. You have to be prepared for this.

9. When apologizing to someone, be prepared for anything they could possibly ever ask you, and be ready to answer honestly. If you are not at a place where you can answer any question, no matter how personal, that they have pertaining to the situation, you are not ready to deal with it. It’s okay. Take more time. If you go into the situation and end up just lying to them, or shutting down when they ask what you don’t want to answer because you’re not ready, you’re going to lose your chance to truly give them the apology that you want to, and you most likely won’t get another. You're short changing yourself and that person.

10. Listen to music, any music you want. Don’t stick to a genre, or even certain types of lyrics. Just listen to what you feel. And rock out to it, too. The more you rock out, the louder you sing and the more off key you are, the better, because, at the end of the it all, you will feel insane, free and a billion times better, even if it is just for a little while.

Here are some songs I suggest for any emotion:

Best Days of Your Life by Kellie Pickler and Taylor Swift - No matter what genre of music you listen to, everyone is going to have that time in their life when they meet someone, and then easily realize after it’s all said and done, that you were with the wrong person. Being as such, you actually feel bad for the person, because they treated you like junk, realized you were the one, and then wanted you back when you’re not interested. The lyrics in this song tell them to take a hike in a very girl empowering way. The music video tells them to take a hike in a completely different way.

Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas - Everyone needs a little seventies rock in their life. Everyone needs to rock out. Everyone knows someone who went wayward at one time or another, or lost someone and wanted to see them at peace. This song has it all.

Party In the USA by Miley Cyrus - Look, don’t stone me for this. Whether you like Miley or not, this is a damn catch and super cheesy song. There’s no way you can’t smile your emotions out if you just try to dance to it. Even if you’re making fun of her while you’re doing it, making fun of people is ultimately having fun, so this works for all angles.

Janie’s Got a Gun by Aerosmith - This is one of those songs that makes me smile because of the personal story that goes behind it, thus why I shall share the story with you. I once had a friend named Jaynee who was strong willed and overall the opposite of my chicken-shitness. When she would get angry with someone, she would just very subtly start singing this song. She's 5'2 and a skinny-minnie. People backed off. Picture this and tell me that it doesn’t make you smile.

Say Goodbye by Ashlee Simpson - When you listen to the lyrics closely, this one is self explanatory. If you say you’ve never had to deal with a hard goodbye like this, you are lying. Whether it’s the loss of a friendship, or a loss in a more final way, everyone has had their heart broken and had to let go.

Starts With Goodbye by Carrie Underwood - “Sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye.”

Don’t Forget by Demi Lovato - Even in the darkest of situations, no matter the person, you never want them to forget you, or you wonder if they did when they simply turned the other cheek when you used to mean so much to them. This song expresses these emotions in a way that someone so young shouldn’t be able to.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow by Carole King - This song plays on everyone’s insecurities when it comes to falling in love and how far to fall before catching yourself. This song is particularly catered to girls, but could work for men as well. Insecurities; we all have them. And yes, this is the lady who ran the music store on Gilmore Girls. I know at least one person is going to ask me that.

Your Star by Evanescence - The metaphors in this song for life and love can be interpreted in many ways, but all that matters is what this song means to you and how it makes you feel. With a haunting piano solo that leads into the music Evanescence became famous for, the instrumental alone will captivate you if Amy Lee’s vocals already haven't.

The Patron Saints of Liars and Fakes by Fall Out Boy - “When it all goes to hell will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face?”

Borrowed Time by A Fine Frenzy - Melodically this song is appeasing, but it’s the lyrics that will really win you over. It tells a story of how you are not invincible and life is not infinite. What you do with your time, the delicate things you touch and what you let rub off on others matters. You only get once chance.

So Sick by Flyleaf - If you’re pissed and want to rock out with a woman who seriously rocks out, this is the song to go with. There’s girl screamo, there’s anger, there’s telling someone to STFU. It’s perfect. You can feel like an angsty teenager again, even if you aren’t one. If you are, you probably already know this song.

6 Months by Hey Monday - This tells a story of a girl who finds herself safe with someone when she never thought she could. The delicateness of this song, mixed with the heavy vocals and heartfelt emotion make you long for what she has. In longing, we often find the truth.

Happy by Hilary Duff - I know she’s not the most amazing vocalist, but don’t rule this song off of your playlist. It’s deceivingly dancey, but the lyrics tell a story of a girl who is dancing ultimately because she found what she needed inside of herself to break free of someone who used to mean everything in her life. The music expresses her feelings, while the words she sings tell a story of both heartbreak and uplift.

Stronger by Jennifer Love Hewitt - You can pick yourself back up. This story is about a girl who has been around, she’s seen a lot of things with men, and she’s made dumb decisions, but each one has made her stronger. She's the girl next door. It’s about empowering others to make decisions that will make them stronger, too, and learn and grow from every experience.

Be by Jessica Simpson - I think what gets me about this song is that it was written about Nick Lachey during their time of marriage. They are no longer married, obviously, but I think that gives this song more strength. She pours her emotions into this song about finally finding the one and does it with no regret. She put this out here for the world to hear and then her marriage ended. She did not lay down and die. She picked herself up again and is now looking for the person who will embody the meaning of this song for her again.

Long Shot by Katy Perry - I know you guys probably know the Kelly Clarkson version of this song, but Katy originally wrote and recorded it, and as far as I’m concerned, the Kelly version just doesn’t have the emotion that this one does. This song is about finding something inside of you that makes you fearless and taking the long shot in love. She is unafraid and brutally honest with herself about the situation, but she goes for it anyway.

Self Inflicted by Katy Perry - There’s always going to be that one person who you would drop everything for, and every single time you do it hurts, but you keep doing it and you keep inflicting your own wounds. You would continue to do it again and again.

Sick by Lillix - No matter what you do or how you change, sometimes you’re not going to be good enough for someone. That’s okay. Screw them. As long as you are happy with who you are, that’s enough. If they don’t understand you, walk away. If they seep under your skin, become stronger.

One of These Days by Michelle Branch - Something has always struck me romantic about this song, even if I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly it is.

I Don’t Love You by My Chemical Romance - Love hurts. It’s supposed to, but that doesn’t mean you won’t heal and feelings won’t continue to change. It’s part of life.

I will continue the rest of this list tomorrow since it is becoming longer than the actual story of this post itself. Just a quick question, should I start a Dear Cassadee part of this blog where you can write in with questions, stories or advice and I will objectively get back to you with hopefully what will be words of wisdom, or do we all think this is a bad idea?