Dear Cassadee - Part Two

Today I would like to finish yesterday’s post by adding more song that help you get by in hard times. But first thing is first.

I would like to thank Zoe for her wonderful comment. Going through what I did definitely made me stronger. You’re welcome for the advice given, and if you ever want to talk about your situation, my email is in my profile. You can always feel free to email me. I will talk things out with you from an objective point of view. I really hope whatever is going on with you also makes you stronger, and that you get through it with the poise and grace that I know you hold inside.

I guess at the end of the day, after all these years, the only thing I know how to say is that boys will be boys. We will never understand them or them us, but we make due. Sometimes it’s not easy and sometimes it just clicks, but if the person is right for you, through all the trial and fire, you will always end up together in the end. Learning to let go when it’s not right is the hardest thing to do, but if you follow both your heart and your gut, you will always know what to do. It may not be clear right away, or even in a week, but one day you will know with total confidence what is right, and also have the strength to do what you need to do to make yourself happy without hurting the other person. This always happens before you hit rock bottom, even if it hurts and rips you apart. Those scars will heal into new things, and you’ll have a new found hope that you can carry with you into another situation. All the frogs we kiss are there to let us know when we find out Prince.

I don’t know your specific situation, so I’m not sure if that helped. Like I said, if you want to talk it out, please email me. I am here for you.

As for the follow button, I am working on fixing this. I've looked into it and the way I understand, I’m not the only one having this problem. It seems like the follow button just got legs and ran away on several people’s blogs, and now it’s playing hide and seek and no one can find it again. What I’m saying is apparently there’s a Blogger wide game of hide and seek going on, and boy are those follow buttons crafty. As soon as I find out what’s going on or how to fix it, I promise I will get it fixed. If you or anyone else would like me to email you when I update, let me know and I can do so.

Second, I would like to touch on the “Dear Cassadee” advice column I mentioned yesterday. Apparently people thought this would be a good idea, which was something I didn’t expect at all when I had mentioned it. I decided that, if you want me to do a "Dear Cassadee" column, I shall. I thought this out and here are the rules and guidelines. Well, not so much the former as the latter.

*If you would like to submit a question, story or inquiry for advice, you can email me at RubyTwilight@verizon.net or PoetorFraud@verizon.net. You can also contact me through my Facebook page, Myspace page, or leave a comment on the blog. However you want to handle it. If you would like my screen names for AIM or Windows Messenger, they are available upon request. I am very friendly, and if you send me a friend request on any of these ports, I promise to friend you back as well. On a side note, you did not go to the wrong place. That is actually me. Cassadee Willows is my pen name.

*You will remain anonymous unless you otherwise specify that you would not like to. This is totally your choice and I respect your privacy, and will not give out any of your information.

*You may ask for advice about anything, no matter how odd. If you want advice on what to do with your rooster that just can’t quite understand how to speak his or her piece at sunrise, but instead does it whenever he wakes his butt up, I can cover that, too. If there is something I find that I can not cover, I will research it, ask around, and if I still can’t come up with a good answer, I will honestly tell you instead of feeding you junk just to do it. That’s not fair to you.

*By contacting me for advice, you understand that I am not a licensed professional and any advice I give is done only to be helpful. You do not have to take my advice, but instead evaluate it to your situation and do what feels right in your heart. No one truly knows what to do but you. I’m just trying to give the best advice I can, and hopefully I'll help you to find a way to help you best deal with remedy the problem that works best for you.

*If you feel I did not cover your problem correctly, feel free to email me or leave a comment telling me what I did completely wrong and I promise to fix it in the best way possible.

*If you want advice on something, or would just like someone to talk to about an event in your life, but don’t want it on the blog, feel free to contact me. I will be happy to lend an ear. If I do not get back to you immediately, please don’t be offended. All inquiries will usually be answered within 24 to 48 hours unless, for some reason, I can absolutely not get to a computer. As long as I get your message, I will not ignore you.

*If you have any other questions about the guidelines, just ask.

Third, I would like to tell a cute little story. Aunt Bev is in her sixties. Today she called my mom and this is the end of the conversation I heard in a nutshell. “Just pull on the cord on the side...you know what, no, don’t even do it. I will come over and help you. DO NOT TRY TO MOW YOUR LAWN YOURSELF! DON’T DO IT!” Apparently age is just a number, because she has no idea how to start a lawn mower, far more how to use it on the grass. I love my Aunt Bev.

Now I shall move onto part two of yesterday’s post, continuing with songs that move me, and are helpful in many situations, but especially through situations pertaining to heartache.

Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance - This song hits me in a very personal place. I have never had a friend take their own life, but I’ve had a friend try. When I hear words to songs, I often find myself picturing the story the song is telling. This one goes in with a one-two punch, and ends with a knockout that reminds me of just how difficult it is to lose someone in any sense.

I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield - This song illustrates so dearly how one feels when entering into a new relationship after having loved and lost. It speaks of insecurities and walls we put up, as well as facades we put on. It’s a lover’s cry for help, begging someone to be as gentle as possible, even if you can’t convey the words you wish to.

Underneath It All by No Doubt - This is one of those songs where both the music and lyrics tell a story. The music will remind you of a warm day on the beach with a Pina Colada, while the lyrics tell of falling in love and the honeymoon stage of a relationship. This song is everything it should be. We often attach love with easy, simple feelings, when that’s not at all what it ends up to be, but at the beginning when everything is just so easy, this song becomes the soundtrack to it.

Suffocated by Orianthi - I don’t know how many of you have heard of this girl, but she was a guitarist for Michael Jackson’s ill fated "This Is It" tour. The girl is wicked with both her guitar and her vocals. This is one of those songs that takes the rawness of a relationship, the bad blood, and the murdered ending, and puts it all on the line. It doesn’t hold any of the mess or fight back. It admits fault and anger, while also telling the other person just how you think things should be for them now that it's all fallen apart.

Believe by Orianthi - Believe is a complete different story from the last one. It’s about seeing someone and knowing that’s who you want, and they are the one for you. Then it all goes to hell, because you do get that person, but you’re not longer yourself with them. Even still, you want to keep believing in love. You want to and will go on. There’s more out there than just the person that was once in front of you. It’s about not giving up.

She Had the World by Panic at the Disco - This song illustrates so beautifully how someone can have everything they want, the world can be in their hands, but they’re are still sad because the person the really want is the one thing they can never have.

Unhearted by Automatic Loveletter - This is one of those songs that absolutely no one could sing but Juliet Simms. You feel her pain and you get so engrossed in her story that, after awhile, you begin to feel lucky, because you know she’s been through what you’ve been through but one worse. She’s telling her own story while telling a story everyone is similar with in a delicately beautiful manner that makes your heart twinge.

Brighter by Paramore - Even though this person is leaving and walking away, you still want them to know that they are one of the shining stars in your life. No matter how it ended, they always will be. It’s a plea for them to not leave, but an understanding that the chips will fall as they may and you will not think less of the person for it.

Turn It Off by Paramore - Everyone has found themselves between a rock and a hard place, and then sliding slowing down the side of a cliff until they can’t see the light anymore. Everyone has dealt with balancing their pride and finding where vulnerability turns into beauty once all the spite clears. This song represents that. It shows that two people with the same condition can’t be cured unless one lets themselves fall just to find themselves again.

Hallelujah by Paramore - This song is simply about not giving up so you can fall in love, but has the complexity to describe what everyone has felt at one point in a relationship. It’s about waking up and trying to find your way out of your feelings, but you’re still falling in love and can’t see an end to it.

It's All Your Fault by Pink - What I love about this album particularly is that it comes from a place of vulnerability, whereas Pink is known for her songs about kicking ass and taking names later. She lets her guard down and shows that love can break even the strongest people. She lays it all on the line in this song, while still putting her own limitations on the person, because she’s not the kind of girl to sit and wait around, even though it’s so clear she would do anything and wait as long as she had to just to have this person.

Who Knew by Pink - This song reminds me of one particular person, and if I could ever listen to this song without crying I would start to wonder if I ever really cared for that person. It says everything I’ve wanted to say and can’t. It’s about believing what someone tells you when they are right in front of you, only to watch them twist and change, and then do the inevitable. It’s about loss and how it haunts you. It’s about remembering and hurting. She opens up her chest and rips her own heart out for this one.

Another Love Story by Play - In relationships there will always be a stronger person and a person who is still trying to heal from another relationship. This song is about being the strong one who understands what the other has been through, and is willing to help them fix it, but at the same time they are doing it by giving them tough love. Get up and scrape yourself back off. Show me something inside of you and I will take care of all of your fears. It’s about subtle trust.

What If I Leave by Rachel Yamagata - This song plays devil’s advocate. It deals with the fact of being with someone who doesn’t give you what you need, but being so head over heels that you bleed for them continuously just to keep them. You realize you can’t continue to do this, so you toy with the idea of leaving, but you don’t know if you could get that foot out of the door. You wonder what would happen if you did.

I Don’t Miss You At All by Selena Gomez - What I particularly love about this song is that it’s different from the other songs on this list. It’s about truly being over someone, but at the same time, you feel the need to gleefully announce this to everyone. In its own way, though, it also plays devil’s advocate by telling the person that you hope they don’t call, because to boys that usually means that they will call you. This is a more lighthearted song that really socks it to someone at the same time and is clearly meant to break someone’s heart the way they broke yours. It’s a revenge song it its own right.

In the Sun by She and Him - This song has all the cheekiness of an old jazz song, mixed with heavy toned vocals via Zooey Deschanel. The lyrics are hard, but the music is upbeat and fun, and the chorus makes you outright want to dance. This song embodies looking at a bad situation from a perky point of view without becoming cheesy.

Perfect World by Simple Plan - "In a perfect world, you would still be here." Nothing is perfect. Nothing ever will be, but that doesn’t mean we’ll stop relying on perfection and hoping that it comes through for us just once.

Smoke + Mirrors by Skye Sweetnam - The opening lines in this song immediately let you know about the singer’s admitted naivety, leaving it all on the line. Then the song takes a turn and tells about how the person will keep fighting no matter what it takes, no matter how naive they are. They will not give up, because they will come out on the brighter side and prevail. We can all take a lesson from this.

I’m Only Me When I’m With You by Taylor Swift - There’s something about this song that just makes me feel good. As I said before, I visualize the story the person is telling, and there’s a certain romance to sitting underneath the stars with someone who is strictly just yours and no one else’s. They belong to themselves, and their heart is shared with you. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, this song lifts me up and gives me the warm and fuzzies like no other. I want to be the girl in this story and I want to experience this for myself.

Rinse by Vanessa Carlton - “She would suffer, she would fight and compromise.” When you want no one but one person, sometimes you become so blind to what it is that you actually need. When you realize that you can’t live for another person, you realize that person has to go, but that you don’t know how to rinse them away. You know you want the person to know everything you’re feeling, but they never will. Even if they did, you know it won’t make a difference.

In Another Life by The Veronicas - Although I personally have never known this exact story of someone I grew up and fell in love with, there’s a certain romance to it. Even if you haven’t known someone your whole life, there’s always that person that you feel like you have and a little love story develops before you even know it. There are certain lines in this song I find myself singing over and over again with what I’ve gone through. It speaks to my core. Note the lines: “I was in love with your memory.” and “You know I love you, I really do, but I can’t fight anymore for you.”

Cigarettes by The Wreckers - I am far from a country girl at the same time that I am far from anything but. There’s a lot of country where I live, and although heart and soul I want more than this, this is what I am and where I came from. I know what it’s like to listen to sad songs as you drive around the back roads in the complete quiet of the dead of night, and think about finding that one person you won’t have to compromise yourself for. I’ve been this girl, minus the cigarettes. Don’t smoke, guy. It’s icky.

A Secret Worth Keeping by The Fire Restart - There’s not anything I can say about this song that will describe how it gets under your skin and digs there unapologetically. If you need a song to scream to, this is the one.

Here It Goes by Ok Go - This has nothing to do with the song, but there's no way you can watch this video and still be sad. No freaking way.

Hopefully these songs will keep you all busy for awhile. I am going to take things one day at a time with my own situation, because I finally feel free inside. The thing with reconnecting with someone is that you don’t know what to expect, or what you will learn about that person. Sometimes you need to keep that person at arms length once you learn those things, even though you’re dying inside to just hug them, and sometimes that’s the one thing you’re totally okay with and feel whole over. You just need to make sure that person is okay. You don’t have to see them to know that, but if later things settle and you realize it’s time, you have that option to make plans with them.

So guys, I guess the moral of the story is this: everything just needs time.