When Old MacDonald Entertains 24 Year Olds

Just a short blog for today. For the first time in my life, I don't have a lot to say. I do, however, have blogs sitting in cue that need posted. Who thinks I should get on doing that?

Today I totally went to the park and went down the gigantic slide, but not after finagling around a bunch of kids so that I didn't run their cute little butts over and be accused of murder. Where I come from, that would have been a bad thing. And, as most proper ladies do, I let my guy friend go down first to see how slick the slide was, that way, if he flew off the end, I knew that I had to stop myself early. He flew off the end. Lesson learned.

At the park, said friend told me a particular story involving a gnome, but not really. It was the best story I have ever heard, better than anything I could tell you, so once I collaborate with him, I will share the story with all of you.

While at said park, we decided to take a walk down by the lake. This was a mistake seeing as the lake looked way smaller until you were partway around it and it was too late to go back. Either way, we made it, but not without some interesting teenagers coming up behind us and telling a story that I never, ever needed to hear. Actually, it was just the one girl talking. Her friends couldn't get a word in edgewise, but let me tell you where I came in on this conversation.

"So I kissed her, and she kissed Kurt, and then Kurt kissed someone else, and we all went around until we had all kissed each other."

I'm sorry, but I couldn't turn my ears off. She was so loud. Now I was both mortified, and curious. I looked back to see that she was quite young, and worried what the heck kids did these days. Then I instantly felt old. Not as old as I was about to feel. A few minutes later this little doozy of a sentence came along.

"We can't get laid, so that's why we have these parties. That way we can have orgies."

Everything she said from then on in was extremely sexual even when it wasn't. I just couldn't get that out of my head. Who does this and why? She later said she was seventeen. I just...where are her parents? Where? I'm twenty four, responsible and not getting sex, so neither should she. I'm just saying...

We got back in once piece, and thankfully I didn't cut my ears off, but now understand why Van Gogh attempted it. If he had to hear anything like that, I don't blame him one bit. Once we made it back to my house, I successfully managed to get my friend to play with a toy that, when you color on it, it makes the sounds of the animals you're coloring. After you've discovered all four sounds, it plays a song.

Did I mention Aunt Bev got me this for Easter? It's for ages 3 and up. She knows me so well. I am having the time of my life with this thing. Thank you, Aunt Bev.

I also can't neglect the current mining tragedy that occurred yesterday. I sent my condolences to all the families who lost loved ones, and everyone who lost friends. May you have the strength and guidance to learn to live without your loved one while keeping them in your heart, and may all of the dearly departed rest in peace. I will pray for you all.

I have a few more words about this. I understand that only the right people who see this will understand, and that most readers won't. I'm not going to say anymore about the subject. It is what it is.

- Maureen or Marleen (I am so sorry that I didn't completely catch your name), your husband lost his wedding ring a few weeks ago at work. He didn't want to tell you, so he pretended he knew exactly where it was, or that he was having it re-sized. He's sorry that you won't have it to put with him or hold onto, but he still loves you very much.

- Sasha Bear, please don't be mad at your mom for putting a bologna sandwich in your lunch last week. She did not do it. She originally had a hamburger in there, but your dad got hungry and ate your hamburger, and then put the bologna sandwich in there and made you think your mom did it. There was nothing else to substitute with, even though you didn't really like bologna and ended up starving at lunch. He's sorry. Please start talking to your mom again, and stop holding a grudge. She and your brother need you right now.

Last, but certainly not least, I would again like to thank the wonderful person who has commented yet again on my blog. I would love to read your blog as well. I went into your profile but didn't see a link to it. I could totally be having a senior moment and missing it. If you could link me to your blog I would forever be grateful. Thank you again!