So Glad You Asked

Today I thought I would take a moment and post the answers from my recent FormSpring questions, with explanations. Yes, I'm now officially making a conundrum out of a simple thing such as FormSpring. But it's me, so you all knew this was coming eventually.

You also may or may not notice, but most of these questions are from the FormSpring question generator. I could lie about that, but why? I like answering questions, and no one but the amazing Zoe seems to be asking them, so I'm not above making FormSpring ask me questions to answer. In fact, it makes me kind of happy.

But seriously, guys, feel free to ask me any question you want to ask me. I even answer questions about ducks. (I realize I talk about ducks a lot and never explained that it's an inside joke from my novel. Not that my novel is about ducks, but it's an inside joke between two of the characters. This will make sense eventually, I promise.) I am working on getting my Facebook and what not linked up to FormSpring, it's just that I know some really hilarious people that would ask me some pretty inappropriate things, which is the reason I haven't done so yet. But I like questions...clean questions, about anything other than dirty things. Really.

This first question comes from Zoe and it's not a question. I love Zoe, in case you couldn't tell. Oh, and questions are in bold, answers in italiacs. I think you all could have figured that out yourselves, but I'm always here to over-help, which may be counterproductive. It's like over-sharing, only more lame.

LOVE YOU.

I love you more! You are incredible!

The rest of these FormSpring asked me. FormSpring and I are getting to be pretty good friends, which isn't at all creepy, and completely possible.

Who's the smartest person you know?

Does it have to be a person? Because my dog can outsmart just about every human I've met. She's a little con artist, she is.

This was an unfair question, really. This is no offense to anyone I know, but that's just the way it is. I am preparing a post about Greta Hayley's con-artist abilities, so soon you will understand why I say she is the smartest person I know. I'm not totally convinced she's a dog. Not at all.

Who's the most underrated actor?

Jackson Rathbone or Matthew Gray Gubler

Did you feel a rant coming with this one? You did? Oh, you all know me so well. I'm tickled. But not literally. I hate being tickled. Anyway...I realize I cheated and gave a double answer on this one, but I couldn't just pick one. I would say I am indecisive, but I can't decide whether I am or not. Therefore, I will explain why I picked two. If you really don't want to hear this and hate these two, I understand. Take a nap. I'll wake you when this explanation, i.e. rant, is over. Promise.

Let's start with Matthew Gray Gubler, or MGG, if you will, because I've mentioned him on here before, and fewer of you know him. He's not one of those actors that you look at and immediately fall head over heels for his gorgeousness. It's just not him. He's not bad looking by any means, and he used to be a model, but he's just not...I don't know, Jensen Ackles. He is, however, a lead character on the show Criminal Minds. (What you people did to poor AJ Cook and Paget Brewster was wrong, CBS. Boo!) On the show, he plays an autistic genius FBI agent with no social skills, and really bad jokes. You read all of that right. His performance is flawlessly stellar, so much so that I think you automatically imagine that he acts like this in real life. Then take into consideration that this was his first ever acting role where he wasn't just in the background, and it shows he's got talent, especially when he never set out to be an actor. I can't imagine it would be easy to pay an autistic genius FBI agent, especially with some of the ridiculously long words, lines, and uncut rants that he does. He's completely flown under the radar for quite awhile and is totally underrated. This scene is really one of the scenes where you can get a good overall feel for his character, and his total, absolute cluelessness to popular culture, that MGG pulls off flawlessly. It also segues us nicely into our next actor.

I know the moment I say Jackson Rathbone, at least two hundred Twi-hards are going to scream at one time. Yes, he is the guy that plays Jasper in the Twilight Saga. I'll give all of you Twi-hards a few minutes to stop screaming, because what I'm going to say next is probably going to hurt your little hearts. I want to be sorry...but meh. Look, I like Twilight, too, but Jasper doesn't really get enough screen time to show off anyone's acting skills. He kind of stands there quietly and looks like he's in pain. I wasn't completely impressed here people, sorry. Plus, the blonde hair on him, not so cute. If I suddenly stop mid blog, it's because I was murdered by some Twi-hards. Call the cops. Thanks.

And now that I've pointed out that I didn't really even notice Jasper in Twilight, I would like to point out this clip from Criminal Minds. We all know I love that show, and not long after seeing Twilight I saw this episode of Criminal Minds. I was so completely blown away by the duel performance of the actor who played both a guy and a girl. Yes, the girl talking at the beginning, that's totally Jackson. In fact, he made a better girl than me during the course of the show, which is in no way a cut at him. I'm jealous. I'm not going to lie. After the show I was so impressed that I immediately had to look up who played the character(s). Imagine my surprise when I realized it was that dude who played Jasper in Twilight. Yeah. Not only does he not look the same at all, but holy hell the kid can act. Seriously, why is he doing parts like Twilight and The Last Airbender? This kid is completely the next big thing and no one knows it yet. Plus, he's completely adorable, and although I'm disturbed a little by how much he and MGG look alike, he's just a little (a lot) cuter. Sorry, MGG. Just...sorry. Also, I like really unique people, and correct me if I'm wrong, but one of his parents is a native of Indonesia and the other is a native of Singapore, correct? I heard that in some interview somewhere. Specific, I know. I know some Twi-hard will come along and correct me if I'm wrong. Correct me snarkily and don't kill me for the above, and call it even, okay? Thanks.

Also, for any of you who fell asleep so you didn't have to listen to that rant, you can wake up now. Oh, and I don't blame you for snoozing on my parade.

If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?

This is an odd question to ask me, FormSpring question generator. If I don't know said celebrity, how would I know if I wanted to date them? That's creepy. I mean, I guess we could go by looks, but looks never gets anyone anywhere. I have no fantasy celebrity date because I have to know the person's heart because I can date them.

What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life?

Honestly, probably Kristen Stewart. I realize this probably sounds dumb, because a lot of people think I hate her. I don't, I just think she's a little dull. However, she and I carry the same level of excitement in drastic situations, so I think if things went south, she would shrug her shoulders and go along with it. That's why she would have to play me. But if we're going by who I would pick to play me on personality and talent alone, I would have to say Lucy Hale.

I'm waiting for the shock of me saying Kristen Stewart and me in the same paragraph. I do realize most people think I hate her. Here's my reasoning for saying I think she would be the right person to play me. First, she was the first person to come to mind, and not because she's also in Twilight. I'm not wild about Bella whatsoever, so boo. Yep, definitely getting whacked by a Twi-hard before this blog is over. I love you, Twi-hards. Please don't kill me. It's just that she's so very calm about everything, almost to the point of boredom, and doesn't really give a crap about what people say. I'm far from dull, but when faced with a really terrifying situation, I usually become very dull instead of freaking out, which is really a key in what it would take to play me. I mean, while I was working one night we were robbed at gunpoint, and at another job a very bad situation happened that I'm sure would have ended a lot worse had an off duty police officer, who we didn't know was an off duty police officer, just happened to be on his way out of the store and feel like something wasn't right. I will tell these stories later, but I've lived an interesting life with a lot of odd things that had happened. Instead of being shocked in these situations, I became completely calm. Kristen could so play me because I think she'd represent the real me well.

As for Lucy Hale, I realize a lot of people don't know her, and she's way cuter than me, but I'm okay with that, because you always want to look cuter in your own movie. I just think she's adorable. If I could pick someone to play me, it would totally be her. That's how I'd want to come off on screen. And if my book ever gets optioned out for a movie, she'd be the perfect girl to play my lead character. Yes, I've thought about this. That's kind of sad, right?

What one thing are you exceptionally bad at?

Bowling. I am so exceptionally bad at it, that I define the meaning of the phrase "exceptionally bad." My friend and I once bowled against a drunk guy. Our scores combined lost out to his by a good forty points. If that isn't exceptional, I don't know what is. However, I also have exceptional amounts of fun losing exceptionally bad, so it's fitting.

True story, folks. True story. I love you, Becky. Let's go bowl badly soon!

What was your first paying job?

I've owned a pet-sitting business since I was seventeen. Some of my first paying jobs were hugging peoples' pets. Not a bad way to go. The care that pets require is far outweighed by the love they give.

I have a ton of stories about my pet-sitting days to tell. I promise I will get around to them one day that comes hopefully sooner than later. I have lots of stories to tell, folks.

What's the secret to happiness?

Knowing who you are, and then understanding and accepting it. Everything else will fall into place around that.

What YouTube video made you laugh recently?

This one, because it's a kitty eating ice cream. Everyone loves kitties and ice cream. If you don't you're just a big meanie, or allergic to cats. Together they are pure bliss.

Okay, that's all for now. But really, guys, ask me questions. Your questions probably won't require long drawn out rants. If that's not incentive, I don't know what is. Oh God, I'm trying to get you guys to ask me questions by offering incentives. I feel like a used car salesman. I'm sorry.