Good Girls Go Bad - The Boy Who Played Games and Didn't Hear No ~ Part 1

In the last post, I told you all about amazing friends and people who are truly beautiful on the inside. This post is not about those people. Also, just so those people know, I will be heading over to Facebook to send you both messages regarding your comments. I love you gals!

A few months ago, I promised you all a story about a serious friend flop that was funny and sad all the same. I later told you that I was going to hold off on telling it until the storm had blown over. The storm was over for me as soon as I decided I could not be friends with this person anymore, obviously, but there were other circumstances pending so I decided to hold off until things worked themselves out. I am holding off no more, and by that, I mean this story shall be told with no bars held.

I want to make it clear before I start this story that I am not telling everything to get back at the person of whom is also part of this story. The thing is, I’m not even mad at them. If anything, I’m completely put off by their behavior and a little sad that they felt the need to act the way that they did. I still wish I understood it.

I also threw the idea of not using this person’s name back and forth, however, you already know this person. To really get into this story, it’s important to know who I’m talking about, because I think you, too, will be shocked by this story, therefore, understanding where this story is coming from.

This person had previously given me permission to use their name and their stories on this blog before, so now isn’t going to be any different. Please keep in mind that normally I would never, ever, use the person’s name; see the Friend saga. However, in this situation, there is absolutely no way you would be able to find out who this person was. Several of you are friends of mine on Facebook, but this friend is no longer a friend of mine on Facebook or any other social network, therefore, you will not be able to find out who they are in any way, shape or form. If there was some way you could, I guarantee you that I would not use the person’s name. I also understand that I use the names Becky 1, Becky 2 and Becky 3. They are also okay with this, and there isn’t really a way you could figure out which is which. I always check with people before using their names and what not. I respect my friends and their privacy.

Aside from that, I also have another friend with the same name who is still my friend on Facebook. Please do not yell at him. He has enough problems and he is definitely not the person involved in this story. In fact, I can not say enough nice things about this person.

Last, I would like to let you know why I am telling a story that paints someone in a not so good light, and how that ties in with it being important that you know who this friend is from other posts for this post to really stick. The reason is that I have no true way of enforcing to the young women who read this blog that you have to be so careful with people. You have to watch your back, especially with guys. No matter how well you think you know them, something like this could happen. Granted, this story is the tame end of what could happen when you think you know somebody but don’t, but there was the potential for this to get dangerous and I realized it soon enough. If you realize it soon enough to break off a relationship and cut off all contact with a person, you are much safer.

This story is one hundred percent being put out there in hopes of helping the point stick that you have to be so careful. I don’t want any of my readers getting hurt. I love you all. Please understand that is why I am telling this story. It’s not about revenge, or trying to show this person in a bad light, it is to prove that sometimes even the people who seem like the sweetest, most easy going people, are not who you think they are no matter how long you have known them. And so the story goes...

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was a young woman looking for her prince charming, but instead kept finding frogs. As the old wives' tale goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. I say they lie and I’m tired of kissing frogs. They’re slimy and gross, and for the lack of a more mature word, ewwwugh! Actually, I like frogs just fine, but the kissing part doesn’t sit well with me.

And that’s enough of that.

I’ve spent years being told I was a good story teller; that I could keep people captivated, but no matter what I’ve written or what stories I’ve told, I’ve learned two things. One, nothing anyone could ever write compares to real life and the true stories that come out of it. Two, kissing boys is a lot like kissing a slimy frog, because the more boys you kiss, the more you find that a lot of them are dogs, or, you know, slime. I don’t want to insult any dogs here.

This is where my story comes in. The real one, not the fairy tale one.

On the flip side of every story and everything I’ve ever believed in, sometimes the guys who do the stupidest things aren’t the bad guys, they’re just extremely immature, or haven’t had the best past and it keeps them from making the right decisions. Other times, the guys who seem really great turn out to be severely misrepresenting themselves, and then things unravel very quickly and leave you wondering what in the heck just happened. This is the story I shall tell.

On this blog I’ve previously told stories about a friend named Mike. Yes, really awesome friend that I’ve written about, with his permission, and was helping house hunt. You didn’t expect me to write anything unbecoming about him, did you? To be honest, I didn’t either. I never, ever, thought I’d have anything but wonderful, rainbow like thing to say about him. Mike was awesome and I really enjoyed his company. He was sweet, a little shy, and the kind of guy that it seemed every girl wanted. I really wished that I liked him, but I think in the back of my mind I knew that something was just a little off

Even though, things were going great and we were having a good time hanging out as friends, and then things got...well, weird. I don’t know how else to put it. Please keep in mind when reading this that I have absolutely nothing against Mike. I’m just totally befuddled by this, to say the least. I also know there are two sides to every story, but at this point, no matter what he says to me, there’s no way his side could change my mind about being friends with him after the way he acted. Sad, isn’t it?

One night after I was helping Mike house hunt, he came over afterwards and we watched The Princess Bride. This night happened to be one of the nights that my mom was working nightshift taking care of an older lady. I thought nothing of it. We watched the movie, and when it was over he was literally falling asleep on the couch. I told him to stay, because I didn’t want him to die by falling asleep driving home. He stayed on the couch, I had a Gilmore Girls marathon, he woke up early in the morning and went home. No big deal, right?

Well, apparently it was, because this is when everything changed, and to be completely honest with you, I have no idea why. I am completely, one hundred percent honest on this blog, and that is all that happened that night to a tee. Period. It was completely innocent, there was not even any flirting or anything, and I’ve made it clear to him before that I had no interest in him as more than a friend. That wasn’t even an issue. I was just glad to have an awesome guy friend who could stay over as a friend and not want more, or even bring it up.

Mike went on vacation with his family post him leaving my house that morning. For the next five days while he was gone he seemed glued to texting me constantly. I thought absolutely nothing of it because he was on vacation with this family, and I figured he had just had with them and needed someone else to talk to. There was some conflict in his family while he was gone, and he was really bored. I text when this happens, too.

I also enjoyed talking to him, but it was just a whole lot of texting that I wasn’t used to between the two of us. He started getting really flirty and I jokingly flirted back, but made it very clear to him in every single way possible that I was not interested in him. I didn’t think he was interested in me either. Quite frankly, I thought he was just playing around, which is why I played back, but still made sure to let him know it was as friends. I didn’t know why he was acting that way, but I thought it was just the stress of a vacation he didn’t necessarily want to be on. I would quickly learn that I should not have chalked it up to vacation.

He was coming home on a Sunday. We had talked about getting together when he got home, because that’s what normal friends do, but we didn’t set a day. On that Sunday, while he was heading home in his parents car, he did something I really hate, but also tried to ignore because I thought I had known him well enough to know he was a great guy, and I also thought that I was just being silly.

He started out by telling me that when he got home he was thinking about going out, because he’d probably be too wired to go to bed, and he wanted to know if I wanted to come. I passed. He didn’t know when he’d be in, and I didn’t want to make any promises in case he got in later than he thought and it was just later than I wanted to go out. I’m such a party pooper, I know. But in my defense, my mom was working that night, and if he got in late I really didn’t want to leave the dogs alone at night, as they’re used to someone being here. I like to keep a gentle balance.

After I passed, he brought up that he was also “thinking about coming to my house, like I had offered before.” I was in the middle of doing a bunch of things when he texted, so I told him if he didn’t get in too late, he was welcomed here. I didn’t think that was weird, until about an hour later when I realized I had never “offered,” as he put it, to have him come over when he got home. It was definitely a red flag. I tried to let it go, but it ate at me as the night went on.

I was still going to let him come over, because I had agreed, even though I wasn’t thinking when I had. At the time when he had asked, he said he would be home about eight or eight thirty by the looks of where they were. I didn’t see a problem with this. We could hang out for awhile, and if I still felt really odd about things, I could always ask him to leave when my mom left to go to work for the evening. No harm, no foul, and I could see if I was just being silly.

By the time my mom left, he still hadn’t called, or texted. I had tried texting him to see where he was, but he never got back to me. It soon became after ten and I hadn’t heard a word from him. My dogs were fast asleep, which is really a rarity when my mom is gone for the night, the house was quiet, and Mike had to go to work in the morning. I figured he didn’t think he’d be getting in that late, and quite frankly, because I felt odd about everything, I didn’t really want him to come over, especially when the house was so quiet, so I texted him and told him very plainly that, since it was late and the house was quiet, that I did not want him to come over.

I got a text back almost immediately saying that he had “just pulled in” and “was on his way over.” Considering he hadn’t answered any of my other texts, but suddenly jumped on the one where I told him not to come over, I smelled something fishy. To make a long story short, I proceeded to again, very clearly tell him not to come over because the dogs were asleep, the house was quiet, I wasn’t going to have him come over, wake up the dogs, stay for awhile, and then wake them up again to leave. At this point, it was late and it was pointless. Besides that, he’d have to get some sleep to go to work in the morning, and we couldn’t hang out for long. I wanted to tell him that something didn’t seem right, but I didn’t, and still stayed honest with him.

This proceeded with him sending me three more texts insisting that it was “no problem” that he come over. Clearly, he wasn’t getting the hint. At one point, he even offered to stay the night so he didn’t wake the dogs. No, something was definitely not right here. The problem; he was not hearing no. We went back and forth several more times, me now losing the nice and telling him NOT to show up here. Finally he got the picture, but unfortunately I was about to learn that this would become a pattern.

From here, it wasn’t hard to figure out that my letting him stay here that one night suddenly became an open invite for him to be able to stay here whenever he wanted to, or he thought I “needed him.” Listen, buddy, I stayed home alone a lot of nights when my mom worked nightshift. Yes, me, all by myself. Do I like staying home myself at night? No. Am I perfectly fine doing it? Yes. I don’t need you, which he nicely tried to tell me a few times. No matter how nice you try to tell me it, the truth is I don’t, and quite frankly, it becomes apparent that this is the play you’re using to try to get me to let you stay at my house when I keep turning you down.

He tried and said anything to get me to let him come over. He tried asking, he tried worming his way in. Hell, one time I told him no, don’t come over, and about an hour later he said he was a few minutes away. He was going to stop and get ice cream and come over. I told him no again and said we’d been through this. His response was, “but I’m just bringing ice cream.” Yes, at 9:30 at night, after my mom has conveniently just left for work.

If there’s one thing I hate more than someone who won’t hear no, it’s someone who thinks they’re going to be cute and worm their way into doing something I said no to by trying to present it like they’re really doing something else for me, or doing me a favor. I told him when we first met to not try to pull one over on me, because you will not win. I catch pretty much everything and can smell bullshit from a mile away, but still he thought he was going to try.

Another thing that got me was that he started planning sleepover and movie nights at my house. Yeah, you read that right. With and without my mom. I never invited him. Ever. This was not happening. Because of this, there were several times where I couldn’t be very nice and had to straight out tell him to not come over here because I would not let him in. There’s never any reason to have to tell someone that.

To be honest, this is where I’d normally tell someone to leave me alone and that we were no longer friends. However, if you remember, my mom was helping him find a house, so I tried to continue to tolerate his behavior for the sake of that, even though I had been showing my mom his texts, and telling her about how pushy he was being. When it got to a certain point, I really thought someone should be aware of the way he was acting.

I was also getting a little nervous to stay at the house myself, since my mom had casually mentioned to him what days she would not be home while they were out house hunting. Yes, I was upset with her for doing this when she knew how he was acting, but she claimed she didn’t realize she had done it. Sometimes my mom legitimately does things and doesn’t realize it until later. I did, however, start trying to find someone to stay with me. I was afraid he was just going to show up, and I think I had every right to be. His behavior hit a chord with me, and I was honestly quite creeped out by him.

To make matters worse, over the two weeks proceeding him getting home from vacation, I also became very ill. This meant that the last thing I wanted was anyone here with me while I did not feel well. I didn’t want anyone staying with me, and I certainly didn’t want to deal with someone who wasn’t hearing no. I know normally when people are ill they want someone with them, but in my case, I’m ill often with my health issues, and I know there’s nothing anyone can do to help me. Plus, I know how I feel and I know when I’m just generally ill, and when there’s the potential for something bad to happen. I was just generally ill and felt crappy, so I was fine by myself and really, really, didn’t want anyone here.

Imagine how happy I was when I had to ask someone to come stay with me because Mike wasn’t getting the picture to not come over, even though I had told him no, told him I was ill, and told him pretty much everything but to go bite himself and leave me alone. Not very.

In these two weeks, as you also probably guessed, I was unable to go house hunting with him. Me being sick worked out, as horrible as that sounds, because I could use it as a reason, not an excuse, to not go. I was glad, because I was afraid if I went that he would literally invite himself over after, and then, despite hearing no, still come over. In other words, I was afraid him seeing me would fuel his fire and things would get worse. I honestly wanted nothing more than to keep my distance and not encourage his behavior.

Another thing he was doing was that, every night when I would turn him down, he would then ask me to come hang out with his friends at a place right near my house, and tell me he would pick me up and bring me home. Another ploy? You know it. You know he was doing this again, just to get to stay overnight.

After awhile of me telling him no, he started to get mad, which is when my mom put two and two together and realized he had probably told his friends that things had happened the night he was here, and was going to introduce me to them so they knew he was telling the truth. We thought things couldn’t get much worse, then the kicker came.

One night he was texting me about coming over, surprise, surprise, and I again told him I was not feeling well, I did not want him to come over, like I had so many times before. Also, on this night, my mom was home, so I brought that up to him but that didn’t deter him one bit. Obviously, like I had so thought, he just wanted to come over. I don’t know why he kept insisting on coming over / wanting to stay here, or what he thought he was going to get out of me, but I was soon about to find out that what he had in mind was not what I had in mind.

Before I go any further, I would like to tell you all that the very first thing I tried when this crazy texting started, was ignoring the text once I realized he wasn’t getting the hint. If I ignored them, however, he took this as a sign to either keep texting me every few minutes until I answered him, or that he was invited over and then I’d still end up texting him for an hour trying to stop him from coming over. It was easier just to answer his texts, with stock, stern answers, and just keep repeating no until he got it.

During that night’s texting, he happened to say to me, “I know what you what.” Those exact words, my friends. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I asked him, when seconds later I got a picture message from him. Even though he was acting creepy, part of me still thought he was a nice guy; just really lonely and creepy because of it. That part of me was an idiot, because when I opened the picture it was a picture of him in a bathrobe, obviously wearing nothing under it. If he was in arms reach, I guarantee you I would have slapped the ever living crap out of him. You just do not send people pictures like that. You do NOT! Especially when it comes out of complete left field and has nothing to do with the vacation, so the poor person receiving it could have never seen it coming.

I was taken aback and really offended, plus completely grossed out, especially considering I had no attraction to him in that way whatsoever, no physical attraction to him, and he had been creepy for all of this time. I immediately told him that was NOT what I wanted and it was completely inappropriate for him to send me a picture like that. He responded by telling me that I was so funny, and that it was okay just to admit that, that was what I wanted. I didn’t have to act like it wasn’t.

Needless to say, I immediately showed these texts plus the picture to my mom so she knew exactly what was going on, and understood why I was about to not be all so chummy with Mike anymore. She was really pushing me to be nice because she had put a ton of work and man hours into selling him a house, but at this point I didn’t much care. I just wanted him as far away from me as possible. I still, by the way, have these texts in case he ever decides to come back around and cause issues. I could not have been more clear with him that I was not kidding, but he kept insisting I was, which was something else he was doing when I told him not to come over. He kept insisting I was kidding. How many times and in how many ways can someone say no until he gets it?

In the next post, we shall explore that question. Usually I don’t break my posts in two, but this story is quite long, and I don’t want to bore anyone to death.