This all started on the night of the Criminal Minds season five finale. This isn’t important in any way, but I just thought I’d throw out that useless piece of information in case this blog doesn’t end up being very long, which is what I think is going to happen. I’m just giving you more to read.
Aunt Bev’s car is fifteen and it was also due for an inspection. Obviously, this was a recipe for disaster. My mom was supposed to meet her at the garage where Aunt Bev would be dropping her car off and take her home, however, she had a real estate situation she had to deal with and I wanted to get out of the house. I decided to go instead. I also wanted to pick up some groceries at the store near her house, so this worked out well anyway.
As soon as I pulled in, there was Aunt Bev with her larger than life purse, which we bought her, so I can’t complain about the size. She did her thing and got in. As we were heading home I was regaling her with the tale of whoa that my mom was dealing with when she happily interjected about how excited she was that my mom’s car finally got the air conditioning fixed in it. Then she went back to letting me tell my story like she wasn’t at all excited about the air conditioning and never said that. This is one of the many reasons I love Aunt Bev.
I took her home and came in for a little while to show her how to do something online, and then we got to talking. I was telling her about how I had jokingly asked my mom if one of her client’s sons was cute. My mom said yes, but he was arrogant. I then asked my mom if she was saying was that, if I were to meet the guy, I'd tried to smack the arrogance out of him. My mom answered with a resounding yes. Aunt Bev, who has met the son, agrees. That’s two people legitimately thinking I would try to slap the arrogance out of someone, and that’s just too funny for me.
Aunt Bev and I talked about men, the Friend situation, and everything in between for over an hour. She’s the kind of person I can talk to about this stuff and feel okay with doing it. She gets it, and she’s open about it. We always talk about guys, how much they suck and so forth. We also concluded we would both be lesbians because we hated boys so much, obviously not together, but we didn’t like girls all that much either. Again, this is why she is awesome.
It was getting late and I finally had to depart in order to get home on time for the Criminal Minds finale. I didn’t want to miss a second, so I rushed through the store like a bat out of hell, only to get to the registers and find that five were open and the store was busy. Okay, the store was Wal-Mart. You know how busy they are and how well things are going to move with five registers open.
I stood in line for longer than I shopped and I kept watching the time, worrying that I would never get home for Criminal Minds. I could have taken the line, but what I could not take was the lady in front of me that literally paid in five different orders. I kid you not. She paid for most of the things in one order, but then came the milk, which she paid for alone, the bread, which was the same, the baby food, and then some clothes. Five orders, folks.
This sparked me to text my mom, who, through the miracle of unicorns and rainbows, has figured out how to text. I told her I was never going to be home in time for Criminal Minds. I didn’t want her to think I died because I wasn’t home in time for Criminal Minds. She would probably think that, too, since I never missed an episode.
Going off topic for a second, this lady is probably the coolest lady in the universe, of whom I could not agree more with. Now granted, the whole “I don’t care about those people” was a little harsh, but I don’t think she meant it in that way. We’ve all had our shows interrupted by something that doesn’t pertain to us and has spat out with one good, “I don’t care what in the hell is going on with them.” It’s not that you don’t, you just are in television show mode and are angry that the news has interrupted you for something that doesn’t pertain to you. I want to find and friend this lady. I really hope the station fixed it and she got to see her Criminal Minds. If not, she can track me down and I will gladly recap it for her scene by scene.
Anyway, back to the topic. My mom’s response was not sheer and utter panic, but instead a calm, “have faith.” This comment came back to bite her in the ass fifteen minutes later when I was trying to drive home. Some lady, some ridiculous big haired lady in a huge truck that her hair didn’t quite fit in, was driving down the road in front of me. This was fine until she stopped, blocking the road, and just started to text, making no means to hide what she was doing. After the first minute, I realized we weren’t going anywhere soon, nor could I get around her, so I texted my mom and told her I had faith that I was going to get out of the car and slap the person who is stopped in the middle of the road in front of me, letting everyone and their mother cut her off. My mom’s response?
“Go for it.”
No, really, that’s what she put. I love you, Mommy.
And for the record, my mom and I exchanged texts safely, and my hands were back on the wheel a full minute before big haired hooter decided to move it like her car had a gas pedal.
The following day my mom was out with Aunt Bev dealing with her car again. Long story short, Aunt Bev’s car had a little issue and she wanted to get a second opinion, so my mom took her to get her car so that Aunt Bev could take it to another mechanic the following morning. Confusing, I know.
My mom was gone for awhile because Aunt Bev decided that maybe she wanted to look into getting a new car, instead of messing with a car that was fifteen years old. I was sad I didn’t get to go, but I was working outside and all over dirty and smelled. Not that you needed to know that, but I’m just trying to keep my Queen of Over Share title that I deemed over myself.
While my mom was looking at cars, my neighbors were trying to see how much patience I had, and what they could get away with before I blew my top. Look, I like my neighbors, they’re great people, but they can be a pain. Well, correction, the husband is really nice and keeps everyone in line. The wife, on the other hand, leaves her kids, both under four, outside to scream and play, and run amuck, while she goes inside and talks on the phone. She also allows them to do various other things, which I will explain in a minute.
During the course of the day, she did several special things. What you have to know is that she lives to the right of us, and is the daughter of the people who live to the left of us. The people who live to the left of us live a good football field away. Neighbor was down there at first herself, talking on her phone on the porch. I could hear her. Then, she took her kids down there and they swam. I could hear all three of them. I was inside the house with three fans and the television on. They were a football field away. There was no reason I should be able to make out what they were saying. None.
Last year, the neighbors had bowled over a ten foot wide path about ten feet behind our property, meaning we now have no privacy. They’re right there. The window to my bedroom faces that way, and it used to be all six foot weeds and trees back there. I now can no longer get dressed without shutting my blinds. I realize this is normal for most people, but we live in the middle of nowhere. Not cool.
Anyway, the dogs started throwing a fit, so I went outside to see what was going on. My dogs aren’t big on barking. They bark over two things, and that is if someone they don’t know comes to the house and knocks on the door, and if the neighbors yippy dog is up at our fence barking at them, but they never bark first in the case of the latter.
I went outside to see what was going on, only to find that the neighbors' kids were up against our fence, while the mother was still on the other side of the path, taunting our dogs. Our dogs are not mean dogs whatsoever. They would never hurt a child, ever. They LOVE everyone. However, my concern is that, if the kids start sticking their little fingers in the fence, the dogs aren’t going to know what they are or why someone is encroaching on their territory and snap at them. It’s reasonable to think a dog could do that, because they’ve never had anyone yell and stick their fingers in the fence. Oh, did I forget to mention that the kids were yelling at the dogs, so of course they were barking as the kids inched their way closer to the fence.
Then, their mom finally catches up with them. I was outside in the yard watching my dogs the entire time. They weren’t coming up against the fence near the kids, but rather standing a few feet from it barking while the kids screamed and waved their hands at them. I was glad to see their mom finally make it there, thinking she was going to grab the kids and tell them not to harass our dogs. What does she do? She yells at our dogs for barking at her kids. YOUR KIDS ARE HARASSING OUR DOGS, WHICH ARE FENCED IN, LADY! Honest to God, use some common sense.
The neighbors that lived there before us never bothered our dogs. They’d walk by here and there, but no big. These kids were standing out there taunting our dogs, but she decided to yell at our dogs. This is a woman who lets her yappy dog out to run around barking onto everyone else’s property. It came at my mom one time inside of our garage on our property. The woman can’t watch her own dog, or kids, but she’s going to yell at my dogs? Please. Nice lady, no common sense, and she needs to mind her own kids and her own business.
With that said, I texted my mom and told her what was going on, asking how she would prefer me to handle it, because the only thing I could think of was to slap the common sense back into her. I’ve never slapped anyone, so it’s funny how slapping something in and out of someone came up twice in this blog already. I think I have an explanation for as to how this happened, though.
My mom responded to this whole, “I’m going to slap her thing,” with an “I have taught you well.” I asked her if she was saying it was okay for me to smack people. She said, "sometimes." Again, I love you, Mommy.
It’s important to know that I’m going to sound like a PSA in five, four, three, two...My mom and I would never slap anyone, nor have we. We’ve never smacked or punched anyone either. We may say these things, but it’s jokingly. We wouldn’t really do it. Maybe in our head, but not in real life. We like our freedom and are strongly opposed to court hearings, official charges, and jail girlfriends. We do not promote violence, or fighting passive aggressive stupidity with violence, and neither should you.
This PSA was brought to you by Dear Cassadee INC. A subsidiary of Amy Inc. A subsidiary of Ruby Red Hearts Inc, which is a brainchild of Amy without the INC, who is otherwise known as Cassadee Willows, also without the INC. None of the above are affiliated with other people named Cassadee, Amy, the color ruby, the gem ruby, the color red, or hearts. We’re also not affiliated with willow trees.
Oh, and to sum things up on Aunt Bev’s car, she did take her car to another garage and my mom did pick her up. The other garage never got around to her car that day, claiming they were out of inspection stickers. They told her if she left the car overnight they’d do it the next day and let her know when it was ready. By later in the day they had not called her, so she called them. They were a family owned business, so someone picked up, but they were closed that day. Why they told her to leave the car and that they would look at it that day is still beyond us. They told her to bring it back Wednesday. My mom and Aunt Bev went to get her car only to find the keys in it, it parked right at the road, and all the doors unlocked. Way to go, garage.
That being said, the verdict is still out over if she’ll take it back there to get it looked at Wednesday, and if she will be getting a new car or not. I shall keep you updated. In the meantime, if anyone has anything to say about a Hyundai Sonata, Aunt Bev would appreciate your opinions.
I would also like to put a little disclaimer in about yesterday's post. I realize some of you saw a post entitled, "how are you so amazing?" If I were you, I would have been wondering how stuck up I was. Who titles their blog that anyway? Well, other than me.
And, seriously, who asked themselves that question? Well, other than people with multiple personalities. I mean, I would assume. Can anyone confirm this for me?
In all fairness, the title was unintentional. I recently got a FormSpring and that question was asked to me by the ever amazing Zoe. Below was my answer. I am new to FormSpring and didn't realize how it would come across into my blog when I hit the "add to blogger" button, so I apologize. From now on in, the questions asked will be included in the end of each blog, if there are questions to be included. Hey, it's better than sounding like a stuck up something or another from a monkey's uncle.
Both of these questions are compliments of Zoe over at Roll the Dice.
How are you so amazing?
I do not know, mostly because I don't think I'm amazing, just average. What I do know, however, is that you are absolutely, positively amazing, strong, and wonderful, and I appreciate your friendship and the light you add to the lives of those around you.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment