I Am Not A Lawyer

Just a small update for today. Oh wait, I don't mean to say small. It's not size that matters. I meant to say that I have but a short update for today. Gah, that doesn't sound much better. Now I'm just insulting my blog. Here, let me try this again. Today, I am not going to write five pages, only one...or two. I shall try to control my word slobber.

Yesterday, my mom and I went with Aunt Bev to look at cars. I thought this would be a really interesting story, but what ended up happening was it was raining, the car ended up being a much, much higher price than Aunt Bev was originally quoted, and everyone was cranky. Aunt Bev still has no car, because now she's really torn about what to do. The car she wanted is not the price she was told, nor does it have the features she was told it would and she doesn't want to pay the astronomical price for it. Plus, the guys there were just...well, stranger than most car salesman, which is saying something.

However, the coffee was good, and by good, I mean I would go there everyday for a week pretending to buy a car and putting up with the whole schmiel of the stranger than rhinos with antlers car salesman just to drink it. Oh, and I have three small points to hit on. Not sexually, of course. Just platonically.

When I go anywhere with my mom and Aunt Bev, I like to keep them both in one place together. Every time they split up, whomever I don't go with has some awesome story about something odd that happened. Or, one of them ends up doing something they didn't realize they weren't supposed to and comes back to me giggling like a child. Basically, I'm a babysitter and bystander that expects laughter all in one. Usually I exceed swimmingly at this job, and then yesterday came along.

All of this is probably my fault, because I was looking at one of the cars in the showroom, but when I turned around, Aunt Bev was gone. She was nowhere that the eye could see. Then, my mom starts to take off. I seriously did not know what way to go. Usually I pick a way and follow that person, but considering the situation with shiny, expensive cars and what not, my brain literally shut down. I kid you not. I stood there trying to think of what way to go and who I should go after. This ended in me standing in the middle of the showroom like a mannequin. When I say my brain shut down and I couldn't function, I mean it. If my mom didn't come back, I'd still be standing there.

A little later after we all reconvened, Aunt Bev wanted to take a car for a test drive. Before we were leaving, the salesman was showing her the features of the car. One of the features was that there was a latch on the trunk so that if you got locked in there, and don't even get me started on that subject, you could pull the latch and it would free you. My mom commented that the car obviously wasn't popular with mobsters. I retorted, but first you have to prepare yourself for this, because I'm not even sure where it came from. It just came out, and the fact that this is the first thing that flew out of my mouth, quite frankly, scares me.

"I would think this car would be popular with mobsters. All a mobster would have to do was kidnap someone. Of course the person is going to try to get away, so they'll pull on that latch and jump out of a moving car. Chances are, they will die from doing so, meaning that the mobster never actually murdered the person. If the mobster would happen to get arrested, he could be charged with kidnapping and attempted murder, but not manslaughter. At most, he could get involuntary manslaughter because he didn't actually kill the person, the person died on their on reconnaissance as a result of the kidnapping."

Everyone stared. Then out came the comment about how it was no wonder someone asked if I was a lawyer the other day. Let me explain that.

The other day on Facebook my friend posted the status: If you have split personalities and one of them decides to kill the other, is it murder or suicide.

My response: It's premeditated suicide in the first degree.

The response following it: Are you a lawyer?

We had to explain to that person that I wasn't. It was just the first response I could think of. Look, I don't know where this stuff comes from. It just kind of...comes out.

Third, my mom and Aunt Bev had an adventure early in the day before I had a chance to join them. They were driving to one dealership when they came across a shopping center with around fifty police cars, a bunch of firetrucks and ambulances galore. I thought they were exaggerating with saying there were fifty police cars there. Turns out they weren't. My heart goes out to the police officers who were injured, as well as their families. I hope they make full recoveries.

On a last and final note, I would like to tell you all that, as far as I'm cocerned, and hopefully for longer than just the time being, the Friend situation is solved. I can't explain it, but as I lie here the other night, this feeling just came over me that I didn't need him anymore. Just like that.

Sure, I will always think back on the past and wonder to some degree, but the truth is, I just don't think we're meant to be together. I think at one time, in the past, we were and we missed our chance, and now it's time to move on and be honest with ourselves.

I can't live his lifestyle, and his friends are people who are going to drag him down. I want more than that. I've worked too hard to keep myself clean. I don't do drugs, I don't drink, except for an occasional glass here and there, but I've never been drunk, I don't smoke and am all around the good girl. I don't have problem with people who do other things within moderation and do it wisely, except, you know, drugs are just never good, but it's just not me. I deserve to be with someone who shares the same feeling and someone who has friends who do, too. There are plenty of mature men out there who are not looking for how many parties they can take their girlfriend to and get wasted at, but for someone to have an adult relationship with. Hanging out with their friends means going to a nice dinner, or having a movie night at home with some moderated alcohol and snacks, where no one gets drunk but everyone has a good time.

I guarantee you none of them live in Pennsylvania, but they're out there somewhere. And I will wait. I'm in no hurry and I don't have to be with someone to feel whole. I may never find someone who treats me as well as Friend always has, but the truth is, in love, that doesn't mean a whole lot if you can't live his lifestyle, or stand who he is when he's not with you, because you know what he goes and does and you don't agree with it. Two halves sometimes come out uneven and don't make a whole.

Honestly, I see myself adopted a child that needs extra attention either because of medical problems, or behavioral problems ten years in the future, and being a single mom who devotes their time to that kid. That's where my heart is. If I find myself a husband, that's great, too, but my heart is in helping kids who have gone through worse than what I have and who just needs someone who understands them. Maybe I'm just meant to take another path. I am infinitely okay with this.