iGo For A Walk - Part Three

Before I conclude the saga that is my walking adventures, I would like to tell you all that I haven’t taken a walk since I started posting this series. It hasn’t been on purpose. I either have not been home, it’s been too stinking hot, or it’s been raining like mad. The irony of this is not lost on me. Bet me that tomorrow I will definitely go for a walk now that I’ve posted the last part of this. And it won't even be on purpose.

Since I have spent the last two posts of this series showing you pictures and telling you all about the paths I walk, I will spend this last post in the series telling you about the compilation of “exciting” things that have happened to me while on my walk. Oh baby, I don’t know if you can all handle this. Grab those inhalers.

Each time I go for a walk, there’s two things I know. One is that it’s going to be absolutely, pants eating exciting. I don’t know what that means either, other than it’s not going to be exciting at all, because how fun can eating pants really be? Not that fun.

Two, I will have a showdown with this little guy.

Yes, I know he’s hard to see, but squint your eyes, jump up and down on one foot and clap. You’ll see him better. Okay, no, actually you won’t, but now I’m laughing at you automatically just by picturing this, so I’m just going to ahead and assume you’re doing this, as it makes me happy. Anyway...in case you can’t see him very well, he is a squirrel in a tree. Indeed.

Now, Cassadee, how does one have a showdown with a squirrel, you ask? The truth is, I still don’t know. I find myself walk quietly down the street, minding my own beeswax, when I make my second turn and come across Sir Squirrel. This happens every single time in the very same place, so by now I’m prepared.

Sir Squirrel is normally at the base of the same tree, or hanging out of it. As he sees me get closer, he gets a little antsy. Sorry, Sir Squirrel, I did not mean to refer to you as an ant. Anyway, he will start to make odd noises and act erratically, but not like he’s going to attack, more like he’s upset that I’m there because people give him panic attacks. Hey, for all I know, maybe they do.

I will start to go to the other side of the road just so I don’t disturb him, when all of a sudden, he’ll start to dart to the other side of the road. This is when the standoff occurs. He stops and looks at me, I stop and look at him, and we spend a few minutes dancing back and forth until I finally stop and let him choose which way he’s going to go, and then go the opposite way.

The good news is that when I come back, he just stares me down, which is how I got his picture. It’s not a good picture, because how dare I get too close, but still, it’s a picture. Let’s all take a moment to silently thank him for that. Oh, and all virtual acorns can be sent in the comments, and I will be sure he gets them. I am also assuming it’s a he. I don’t really know. Go with me on this one.

I would also like to take a break and tell you all a short story about my history with squirrels. This whole crazy squirrel showdown does not surprise me because I have a history of flipping out squirrels. In my previous experience the squirrel actually pulled one over on me. Yeah...you read that right.

I used to pet sit, which undoubtedly gave me plenty of stories to tell, both normal and paranormal. I will get to those one day, but for right now I’m going to focus only on the squirrel. Trust me, it’s worth it. This may be the only time you ever hear those two sentences together.

The one house I was pet sitting at was way back off the road, sitting up against a river and covered in trees. There wasn’t one part of the yard that the sun touched, because it was gorgeously draped in tree branches. The cats were kept in a large shed designed specifically for them. I had just fed them and was heading back to my car, when I heard squeaky sound from above me. It actually sounded like laughter, but I knew it was an animal.

As I went to look up I was pounded by acorns. As soon as it stopped, I looked up to see a squirrel on the tree above me, making the laughing noise again. I only got a short look at him, because he started pounding me with acorns again. Then he laughed...again. I swear to goodness he was laughing. I looked up again and he was kind of standing on his two little back legs, making the sounds. Yeah, he was laughing.

I decided to just ignore him and walk to my car. As I did, he followed me from the trees above, making his little laughing sound and dropping acorns on my head. By the time I got to my car I actually wanted to high five the little guy. He was all kinds of awesome. Any squirrel that can follow someone and drop acorns on their head, while sounding like they’re laughing, is completely cool in my book.

I have in my notes that I had the crap scared out of me by a bird and screamed. Boy, I wish I could remember that incident. It takes a lot to make me scream, but apparently a bird did so. I would love to find it and bake it a cake of birdseed or something. I think it’s deserved.

While I was walking, I’m pleased to announce that I made two friends. Not one, but two. I was quite popular, and this was all on the same day. So, as you can tell, I exceed at making friends. Just wait until you hear what kind of friends I made.

The first friend was a fly. Yes, a fly. Now, I’ll be totally honest with you, I have some reservations about exactly what kind of friendship it was he wanted. He was all up in my business, and I really feel like he may have been doing one of two things. One, he was stalking me. Two, he was riding me way too close for having not bought me dinner first. Either way, a friend is a friend. Eventually he got too friendly and I hate to bat him, and then he left. I am a lady of class and his behavior was not befitting of that.

A little later, someone wasn’t watching their very adorable dog. Within seconds it was charging at me. I debated if I should run, hide or both, not knowing this dog and if it was running at me nicely, or with malice intent. Turns out, it just wanted hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. The problem became getting it to go back home instead of following me, but alas the owner noticed his dog was missing and came after him. I have to say, I wouldn’t have been to sad if it followed me home. It was a good hugger.

Here in Pennsylvania, we have a type of bird that we call deer-legs, because they have long, splayed legs and run all over the place. I spent awhile looking for them online, and for some reason, I can’t find a picture of them to find out what they’re actually called. I assume they’re indigenous to this particular region, as I’ve never seen them anywhere else, but I can’t be sure. If I find out for sure, I will let you know. They look very similar to sanderlings, but considering the region, that can't be what the actually are.

That’s neither here nor there, but what is important is that they are strange little birds. It’s rare to see one fly, because what they actually do is run around, often in groups, but sometimes all by their little selves, and yell loudly as if pandemonium is coming their way, yet you never see anything particularly worthy of such actions happen to them. The long short of it is that they have little bodies, big legs, yell a lot, and they specialize in running in front of you as you walk down the road while yelling. I have no idea why they do this, but I think they have Chicken Little syndrome. They are odd little birds.

But alas, in the wiles and the whims of the random places in the USA that I could walk, there is where I live, thus where I walk. I know it’s not exciting, and it’s not glorious, but I did pick you some flowers to thank you for hanging in with me on this very exciting, exclusive series. See, here’s your flowers.

And last but not least, I shall leave you with the stretch of the road that always brings me home. While a deer-leg runs in front of me and yells, of course.