Big Girl Panties...Where Are You?

I just wanted to get on and let everyone know what's going on with me. Also, I have a story to tell that involves Aunt Bev and technology, so hold on to your hats, it's going to be a delightfully bumpy ride.

First and foremost, however, I am having surgery tomorrow. It is nothing major. I am just getting the deviated septum corrected in my nose, as well as having a loose blood vessel in my nose taken care of. I'm just thankful that the blood vessel decided to shake itself loose at a time when I'm already going in to have a procedure done. Now no one has to go up my nose twice. (Did that sound wrong to anyone else?)

I'm a little nervous about this just because I'm not a fan of the feeling you get after you wake up from anesthesia, but then again, who is? On the flip side, I've never been able to breathe properly out of my nose, and the loose blood vessel hurts like a son of a gun (do guns really have sons?), so this is also a blessing to be able to get this done. It's apparently a very easy procedure, so hopefully I'll be back up and ready to lick the world (which is probably how I got sick in the first place), and write blogs soon. Then again, I hear sometimes recovery is a bitch. (Mean bitch, go away.)

Just in case, though, because sometimes my body doesn't react like it should to things, you all know where I've disappeared to, and I apologize in advance. Especially considering I have several blogs typed out to post, but just keep finding new things to tell you. I have a feeling those already finished blogs will be the first to find their way up here until I'm back to being as good as I can get. Knowing me, I'll change my mind nine times. Meh.

I just also want to point out that I realize in getting this surgery done that sometimes doctors will reshape your nose. My nose has never been perfect, but I'm totally okay with that. It's fine how it is. Because of where it is slightly misshaped, it may have to be altered a little, but I've been friends with my nose for twenty three years. I kind of like its imperfection. Other than that, though, I look forward to being able to sing more clearly without the whole "I can't get enough air and my nose sometimes sounds clogged" thing holding me back. Whoot! (Whoot isn't really a word, I know. Does anyone know where it came from then?)

Ooh, and this is supposed to cure my sleep apnea. I will hug the doctor relentlessly until he peels me off of him if it does so. Just saying.

I am so nervous. This is stupid. Where in the heck are my big girl panties when I need them? Yesh!

But anyway, enough about things that are making me nervous, and making me wonder if I'm nuts and should cancel the surgery and run far, far away. (For whatever reason, this is freaking me out. I've had far, far worse done to me, yet THIS is freaking me out. I do not get myself. Me, myself and I; not friends at the moment.)

Aunt Bev's been having some issues with her computer for awhile, as I had mentioned in a much earlier post. All things aside, the computer is more ancient than a bunch of T-Rex, but it still, for the most part, worked for what she needed it to do. That was after I had gotten finished with its bad ass last time. It had contracted several viruses due to a lack of virus protection, all of which I had to physically remove one by one with the help of a virus protection that I brought over and installed. I deleted all the other "free" spyware and adware removals off the computer, since the virus protection I put on had all of that, and often when you get more than one of the same thing running, they tend to cancel each other out. Bada bing - bada boom, she was in business!

That was until last week. Now, the business has a large CLOSED sign in front of it.

She kept complaining that some sex website kept coming up every single time she tried to access her computer. I told her that was easy enough, just to click out of it. She said she couldn't, which perplexed me so I headed over. When I got a good look at her computer, what was actually happening was that the sex site wasn't so much of a pop up as it was a re-route. No matter what site she went to, the entire site would go down and the whole browser would open up this sex site. If she went back, it just did it again. If she refreshed, same thing. If she closed it out, well, you do the math. Lights out. She was stuck.

I could not, at first, figure out why this was happening. I had tried to get into her install log to see what programs she had on there with no avail. I used to work for her husband, so knowing that, even though he has two computers of his own, he uses hers, I suspected he had downloaded something since he's trigger happy, and gave the computer a virus, one that slipped through the virus protection. He's a freaking genius when it comes to technology.

I use the term genius loosely. My dog who can't type has a better chance with technology than he does.

Finally, after having no avail with the install log, as it kept claiming it could not be found, I went straight to the "add/remove" programs. There is where I found my arch nemesis, the creator of all problems. The stupid thing her genius husband downloaded because I knew she wouldn't have done it. Let's just say thank God I am not a violent person or I would have nom nom nomed his head off. Really, all I did was swear at him inside of my head, but I wanted to do it out loud. I didn't, though. *Sigh*

In the add/remove file was a "free adware remover." Now, computer common sense would tell you that if you have a virus protection physically installed on there that was store bought, one that already removes adware, you wouldn't need to download a free one from the internet. Also, the strong words of warning I left behind also told him that like a freaking flashing Vegas billboard sign. Yet, he has no common sense and selective hearing, so I don't know why I was surprised to find that he had done whatever the heck he wanted anyway. That's all that man seems to do.

I suspected immediately that the adware remover was laced with a virus, so I played around with it. My suspicions were confirmed immediately. He had gotten it off of a third party sight, and when he went to download it, he agreed to disable the virus protection, meaning he let the virus right into the computer. Worse yet, it was a hybrid worm that was both eating at the computer, and keeping Aunt Bev from going on any sites by triggering the sex site to pop up.

And let me tell you, I could not.get.this.puppy.off. The normal removal didn't work. It straight up refused to remove it. I tried to back door it by going into the install log again, and that's when I realized that the install log had been wiped out by this worm. This also explained her programs that had mysteriously gone missing one by one over the last few days. Try as I might, the computer was a goner.

This is where it gets even better. Aunt Bev doesn't know how to download stuff, and even if she did, she's not dumb enough to download something when I both told her and showed her that what I put on her computer had adware removal on it. This being said, she approached her husband. He denied putting in on there. It's one of those situations where that was just ignorant and disrespectful on his part. Only a child would do that. It was obviously him. It was downloaded from his account on the computer, and there's no one else there that knows his password and of could have done it. I am beyond pissed at him.

But you know, karma is a bitch. He bought a computer a few months back claiming someone "gave" it to him, but we all know better. He's paid out twice what the computer is worth to get someone to fix it, and to buy parts for it. It still doesn't work. The problem, you ask? The internet isn't working on it. The reason, he has DSL installed in his office, however he doesn't have a DSL modem. He's had several computer techs out there and not one of them can figure this out. NOT ONE. I would be nice and tell him this, and then help him get a modem, but I am quite frankly done being nice to him when he's treated me like a doormat. To him, I'm just some stupid girl that he can push around until he needs something. This is also the reason that someone else who used to help him with computers and also knows what's going on, refuses to help him fix it. I'm amused.

Needless to say through all of this, Aunt Bev needed a new computer. Knowing that I was having my surgery and didn't know when I'd be up and rearing to go again, we went looking at Best Buy today. Now, seeing as I was going with Aunt Bev, I expected this to be an adventure. The biggest adventure ended up being three things. The fact that her husband ran around her house and refused to put pants on, so I had to see a sixty three year old in his underwear repeatedly. The fact that for whatever reason on this green earth the boy who I have yet to write a story about, decided it was a good idea to talk to me after he's treated me like I was lower on the totem pole than shit. And my never ending ADHD. It was an eventful day.

Aunt Bev doesn't know really anything about computers, so this wasn't something she could do herself. What she did know was that she was very, very leery of Windows Vista. After going to Best Buy and being told that all computers come with Vista, which we knew, but that now you could upgrade to the brand spanking new Windows 7, this just caused more problems.

Vista is a mess and a half. I can say this from both personal and work experiences with it. The system is still incompatible with a lot of programs, printers, etc. It also doesn't do most of what it's supposed to. It has a mind of its own and it really doesn't care what you think. (I had one friend claim she loved Vista until it locked her out of everything. Then, she still refused to hate it because of her previous consistent bragging about how she got the "only version of Vista that worked." Yeah, right. I wonder if she's still telling herself that.) Maybe Windows 7 could be better, but at the same time, it's just brand new, meaning it's not compatible with a ton of stuff. It's just one big PC nightmare, especially considering how quickly Vista went on and then off the market. Could we trust Windows 7?

This all confused Aunt Bev more and brought us to the Mac. Last year when I was computer shopping and Vista was the only thing on the market, I literally bought a Mac just to avoid Vista. I refused to deal with that devil horned program. I would not do it. I knew nothing about Macs, but I'd rather learn a whole new system than deal with Vista. I had more than enough experiences with it, and worked at Best Buy when it came out. If I had a penny for every single time someone swore at me while complaining about "the computer someone who wasn't me sold them with Vista on it," I'd be a freaking millionaire. Move over, Donald. You know?

Luckily, an awesome kid I used to work with was at Best Buy the day I bought my computer and totally showed me the ropes of a Mac, and sold it to me. When I first got it I was all cranky trying to figure it out until I realized that I was doing too much work to try to get into my programs. Windows makes you do more steps than are actually necessary to get into something, whereas with a Mac, everything is simple and easy to get into. Once I figured that out, I never looked back.

My Mac runs better and faster than any PC I've ever owned. It's reliable. It recognizes printers, scanners, phones, cameras, you name it, without ever having to install a disk on the computer like you would with Windows. It's just that easy. It hasn't slowed down, froze up, or any of those things that my PCs always did when I had them for this long and compiled as much stuff on them as I have on my Mac now. And the best part? I would have sunk hundreds of dollars into software with a PC, whereas the Mac came with everything I needed.

I was also pleased to find out that the PC I was going to purchase is a big flop. They are now on clearance for less than half the price that they were ten months ago. My friend bought one a few months back and it's already gone bad. From the stories I've heard, hers isn't the only one. So really, I dodged a bullet.

Which brings me back to Aunt Bev. This is what she is trying to do. She's all about the Mac, they're just more pricey than PCs. Honestly, I think they're two hundred percent worth the money. You get double the return on them, and I would never even consider going back to a PC ever again. Even if someone offered me a million bucks with the stipulation that I just could not use Mac ever again, I'd tell them to eat it. I am a writer. It is hard to get anything done without a decent computer. I am unable to consider anything with Windows a decent computer for me. It just simply does not serve my needs the way a Mac does.

The thing with Aunt Bev is that she wants a large Mac with a big screen. (Because she's not getting any younger. That's what she keeps saying.) It's going to run her a good chunk of money. Also, the Mac comes with a ton of stuff she won't use. For me, the Mac was ideal. For her, no matter what model she gets, it's overkill.
But she does not want anything with Windows. She hopes Windows eats dirt. (Okay, I don't know what exactly it is that she hopes for Windows, but I added that just for extra oomph.) I think she is ready to spend the extra money, because she understands it's an investment. At the same time she is so confused because I threw so much at her today. And no matter what she gets, I'm going to have to teach her to use it.

I will let you all know what she decides. I am super eager to find out myself. *Bites nails*