House Hunting and Heartbreak - And So It Is

As promised, this blog will be all about helping Mike house hunt, and the adventures that have occurred along the way. In fact, we’ve had so many adventures that this whole blog will be dedicated to them, with a little story of matters of the heart that snuck its way into the end. To be fair, I will only tell you the stupid things that happened directly to me, because if I start telling you what’s happened with Mike, he might feel like my blog friends are stalking him and that wouldn’t be cool. Or would it?

I don’t even know where to start, so I’ll start at the beginning because that seems like the craziest thing to do, and I like to shake it up here on my blog. Before I get into the technical mumbo jumbo of all the incidents I’ve caused, or that have occurred around me, I would like to mention that my mom is Mike’s real estate agent. Even if she wasn’t, I would probably still go with him to look at houses because he is uber quiet and likes opinions. I know you’re all shocked by this, but opinions, I got them. Lots of them.

Two Sundays ago, Mike began his hunt. This was also the first time I would be meeting his mother, who was going along with us to also give her opinions. I was unsure how to handle her, as I had been told she was pretty conservative, but also liked Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz. I decided to be safe and stay quiet around her, which is something I don’t do well. About three minutes after meeting her I realized this was unnecessary and absolutely decided I loved her. Then things got awkward.

In order for this to make sense, you have to understand that I’ve known Mike for around two years, but until recently, he was simply a friend of a friend that wasn’t a close friend. I know it may take reading that a dozen or so times for it to make sense. Sorry. The first time I met him and ever really had a conversation with him was when said other friend and myself didn’t know what to do and decided to head over to his house to hang out with other people I didn’t know while his parents were away. This being said, I had been in his house before, but because his parents were away, they didn’t know this, and because I only recently become good friends with Mike, I didn’t know his parents either. Everyone with me?

Mike had gone to his mom’s house, since we live just miles apart, to pick her up for the house hunt. We were running early so we went inside. After a few minutes of talking, his mom made a mention of showing me around the house, to which Mike replied that I had been there before. The look on his mom’s face? Priceless. Her comment? Even more priceless.

“Oh, when was this?!” Alone, this comment is not scary, but imagine this in a completely shocked, petrified, really sweet, yet accusing voice of horror. While I tried not to bust out laughing and let Mike handle this, since there was nothing to handle and this was his mom, he proceeded to not catch on to what his mom was thinking and handled it in funniest way possible.

“Like two years ago when you and dad were on vacation.” It took everything in me to not absolutely die of laughter. His mom was horrified, he was oblivious, and I was in the middle of it knowing that nothing was even remotely how it sounded. Absolutely this was the best way to get to know his mom. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Within the first ten minutes we got the things that sounded uncomfortable, but really weren’t, out of the way.

Eventually I had to step in and explain that I was friends with one of his other friends who did know his parents, and we had come over when two of their other friends and his brother were also home. Confusing, I realize. It took her a second, but she realized that obviously I was seeing how bad this sounded, and looked her straight in the face while saying this, so it must be true. She breathed a sigh of relief and then got a kick out of it. I’m unsure if Mike is still confused about what went on there or not, but I appreciate his innocence and the fact that it led to one of the most awesome parent meeting moments ever.

With that debauchery under our belt, I couldn’t see what else could happen to top that as the day went on. I was, however, looking towards many more awkward conversations. Did I get those awkward conversations? Unfortunately, no. Did I top that debauchery? I did, and at the first house, yet. Ah, the Gods were with me, my friends.

We met up with my mom at the office, and after some unimportant mumbo jumbo, we were off and ready to rock. I would like to take a moment here to notate that as soon as Mike and I were comfortably settled in the back seat of the car, our moms told us that we needed to behave or there would be no ice cream for either of us. We behaved as best as we probably could and I even kept the comments to myself (more about this later), and yet Mike ended up buying the ice cream. I mean, you throw a few pieces of cereal at each other, and suddenly you get no ice cream?

Unfair? I think so.

When we arrived at the first house, it was clear someone was a “talented” photographer, and by talented, I mean they were besties with photo shop, because the house was far more worse for wear than the pictures online chose to show. All in all, it wasn’t a total loss, though. It just needed a little paint and TLC. That was until we got to the backyard.

I would like you all to take a moment and prepare yourself for the following, because this is the kind of thing that only happens in the movies. I promise you this isn’t a premise for a script I’m working on. I couldn’t even dream this up. This actually happened.

We got into the backyard and learned that it was quite...well, tall, and no one had mowed since it Bush was in office. That was okay, though, because it was a large fenced in yard with shrubbery in the back for privacy, even if the shrubbery needed trimmed. Or was it shrubbery? Maybe it was a tree that fell down. Huh.

Not being able to tell with the yard in such despair, and being in the only one in high boots, I decided to trek out and end this little mystery. I am happy to report it was just shrubbery. I am sad to report that inside of it was a newly dead, non rotted, deer. Yeah, you heard me. And before you even say it, it was certainly not a fake deer. Here in Pennsylvania, we know the difference. It was definitely real, and if it wasn’t definitely dead, it knew how to sleep like a pro. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out after I confirmed what I saw was a seemingly dead, completely log like deer.

There’s so many questions that go along with this. They include, how did a deer get into and die in the shrubbery? He didn’t smell, so how long had he really been dead? Did he come complimentary with the house, or was he extra? Was it even a he?

Needless to say, he did not buy this house right on up based on the amazing upkeep of the property. I don't need to explain the sarcasm dripping through the word amazing there, do I?

The next few houses went off without a hitch. I mean, I’m sure here were several hitches, but considering I had just found a deer in shrubbery, the other houses seemed completely hitch free.

Then we reached the house with lesbian neighbors. Please keep in mind that no one minds that the neighbors were lesbians. This effects no one, except Mike, who got a little overly excited. Then my mom pointed out that they are basically neighborhood patrol and will tell you if you’ve been, and I quote “a bad boy.”

This was said towards Mike, who instantly looked at me for a comment, because we all know I had one. There was a nice pause while everyone waited for me to comment, but dear readers, I’ll have you know that I did no such thing. Because his mom was in the car, and only for that reason, I kept it to myself until hours later when his mom was no longer in the car and I could say it. I don’t even need to share this comment. You all have read my blog long enough to guess the ballpark that the inappropriateness was in.

After avoiding saying something that everyone was just waiting for me to say, we arrived at the last house. Now I know this comes as a shock to all of you, but I am a klutz. In case you haven’t noticed from any of my other eighty four posts, I get hurt a lot on nothing. If there is something present that I could obviously get severely hurt on, I will waltz right past it happily, sit down, and then fall off the couch in a way that no one can explain or repeat, and end up with six bruises and a sprained wrist. This is how I roll...literally.

As we were walking through the house, I was in the lead with Mike’s mom close behind me. My mom and Mike were still out on the built in porch, while his mom and myself were inside opening the door to the pantry. When we opened it, it was obvious this was not a pantry, but a door to Narnia. By Narnia, I mean it was a door to the basement and there was no panty. In my excitement to see where this mysterious door led, I hastily turned the corner and slid, barely missing falling down the steps by a few inches, which I thinks surprised me more than if I would have taken a swan dive down them.

When I regained myself, I looked down to realize the stairs had rubber matting on them to keep uncoordinated morons from tumbling down them ever so ungracefully, and meeting a very untimely demise. I mumbled to myself, “it’s like they knew I was coming.” About five seconds later, after Mike’s mom arrived at the stairs, I heard her bust out laughing. Yep, she heard me say that right after she saw me almost wipe out. I think laughing was really her way of agreeing. Going with that one.

Also, while we were at that house, I would like to point out that Mike clearly attempted to abuse me. I was nice enough to bring a clipboard for him to use to write his personal comments about each house on the papers about said houses. This was obviously a bad idea to give him something he could use as a weapon. Apparently I made one too many comments about his pet frog, and BAM! He tried to beat me with my very own clipboard. I, of course, dodged him gracefully, and by gracefully I mean I went inside and almost fell down the steps immediately following this.

And to explain the frog thing, Mike doesn’t have a frog. Mike wants a frog, not a dog, but his mom and my mom kept mentioning how he would have room for a dog, because some of the houses had great backyards. I then began picking on him that the yards were nice for his frog he wants to get. He comes after me instead of them. I’m still confused.

Our day promptly wrapped up and we all went home, and then came back out two days later and did it all over again, only we just went to one house that had just gone on the market, and we were minus Mike’s mom. This somehow caused more debauchery without her there, than it would with her there. This was a win, however, because the selling realtor seriously embarrassed herself. Let me regal you with this tale.

As I mentioned, the house we were going to see had just been put on the market that day, so the selling agent was to meet us at the house, as she was going there anyway to get the key off of the owners. My mom wanted me to not say that I was her daughter, because it looks unprofessional for her to drag her daughter along to show houses, even if my friend is the buyer. It’s a no-no in the business, so she decided we’d just tell the agent that Mike and I were just friends. I knew immediately this was going to blow up in our faces somewhere down the line, I just didn’t think it’d end up being so hysterical.

We got to the house, introduced ourselves, said I was Mike’s friend, and went on our merry way. The real estate agent led us around and told us all about the house, pointing out that there was plenty of room for a nursery and the house was in a great school district. Mike has no need to worry about this, but it’s the realtor’s job to point all of this out. She’s also the first realtor that was actually at the house while we were there. For the other houses, they were either empty, or had lock boxes so the realtors weren’t needed. Either way, nothing was thought of this and all was well and good.

We got the whole way through the house and my mom and Mike sat down in the dining room to go over the disclosure. I helped the selling agent find the owners' cat. Once we successfully had Sir Fluffy Pants in sight (This may or may not be the cat’s real name. I will never tell.), the agent pulled me aside and happily asked me if Mike was my boyfriend. She was more or less pointing it out in acknowledgment than asking. Somehow, I knew this was coming. The look on her face when I told her no? Priceless. The look on mine when I realized from the look on her face that the reason she was talking about school districts and nurseries was not just because she was doing her job? Just as priceless. I’m not sure who got the last laugh in this, but I’m pretty sure it was me. Lucky for her, the house sold before Mike put in an offer and she never had to see me again. Somehow, I think she and I will live with this just fine.

I would also just like to point out that while we were in this specific house, the realtor also pointed out that the very embroidered flowered curtains would be leaving with the owners, much to the male counterpart’s chagrin. Mike takes one look at the curtains and then proceeds to say, “I’ll fight her for them.” Mike is usually quiet and obviously hated these curtains. It was awesome. The realtor then added that everything was negotiable. I love house hunting.

On a more somber note, I was talking to Miss Zoe a little earlier on Facebook, and I told her I would write of something on my blog. So Zoe, this is my unfun explanation of why I am sad, but I also think this is a good story to tell, because it goes along with the Friend saga, and it’s fair that others get to hear this hoping that maybe it will help another girl with a little bit of heartache.

Before I get into this, however, I would like to thank Zoe for being amazing and caring. If there is anything I can ever do for you, please never hesitate for a second to ask.

As you all know from prior entries, I contacted Friend to apologize for the way I had treated him. I did not want something from him when I did this. In fact, I didn’t even expect him to ever respond, and if he did, I did not expect it to be ever so polite. I just knew I had to apologize because he deserved an apology, and for no other reason. If I had known what has now happened was going to happen, I may not have done so, because I’m pretty sure I was prepared for anything but this.

Friend did get back to me and we did talk via Facebook. This was great and I was completely happy with the outcome, as we had worked things out and put the past in the past. I could not have asked for a better outcome and life went on. The only problem with this was that a lot more things were brought up as life tumbled down the dusty trail.

Lately, I started to notice that a friend of whom I shall not identify, and myself were getting fairly close. I was wondering if I could ever like this person as more than a friend. This person also reminds me of exactly who Friend used to be back in the days when I loved him but was too afraid to admit it, and before everything went oh so wrong. I was forced to sit down and really think out if I could actually like said other person, or if I did if it would only be because he reminded of me Friend. It took me several days to figure this out, and within these days, I had a little issue with said person. At the exact same time, and I do mean within the same hour of this issue happening, Friend left me a little message on Facebook. This answered everything for me.

Simply put, I am very much still in love with Friend, who seems to have gotten his life back together and have his head on his shoulders. He did what he couldn't do a year ago, and literally had to hit rock bottom to pick himself back up again. There was nothing anyone could do for him, and to this day, I know this. But now he is very much like old Friend, but more mature, more grown up, and I know in my heart I am ready to be with him and do not want the other person. In fact, I don't want any other person but him. This is great because Friend has a girlfriend and there’s nothing I can do about it, nor would I ever interfere. It’s rude and disrespectful to both Friend and his girlfriend, even if my intentions are sincere. Not so great, I know.

I am currently struggling with what to do. It is absolutely breaking my heart every time I hear from Friend, only I don’t want him to stop contacting me. I don’t want to let him go again, but I have to figure out if I can accept that I had my chance and it has passed. It is simply too late. I was not ready to be with him before, and there was nothing wrong with that, but now I have to accept that the dices have rolled in a new favor. Love is a game of Russian Roulette.

I have sincerely toyed with the fact of asking Friend to no longer contact me, but where is that going to get me? That would be a terrible thing to do, especially after I am the one who contacted him to apologize for walking out on him before. Besides that, there’s two problems with this idea. I don’t want him to, and I owe him an explanation if I do not want to be in the same boat as I was when I decided to contact and apologize to him. History does not need to repeat itself here.

Now normally I would have no issues being honest with him, but considering he has a girlfriend, I find this wildly inappropriate. Even if I did simply say to him that I still love him, I realize now that I could easily be one hundred percent all in with him and just go for it like I’ve wanted to for the past almost four years that I’ve known him but have been too scared, but I am choosing to no longer speak to him because this is unfair to his girlfriend and his relationship and I don’t want to hurt either of them, this is still going to do damage. I refuse to do that. If I'm not honest with him, that would be just as bad, and quite frankly, I wouldn't even know what to tell him.

Sometimes just knowing something can be harmful to a relationship. I don’t know if he still has feelings for me. I believed him when he said he loved me before, and he made me feel love. It was more than words, it was a feeling. If he truly loved me the way I believed he did, this could cause problems all across the board and I just refuse to do that. I don’t know what he has going on with his girlfriend, or any details about the relationship, but it doesn’t matter. I respect the relationship and that is between the two of them. But how do I go on being friends with him without being able to tell him how I feel? How do I walk away without telling him how I feel or giving an explanation, and especially when I don’t want to walk away?

I’ve never been this confused and unknowing of what to do. Every time he contacts me, he proves that he has grown up and he is someone I could one hundred percent go all in with. No one has made me feel the way he has ever. No one has made me trust them or sparked something within me like he has. I love when he contacts me and I revel in talking to him, but then realty hits and it just hurts so badly. I have no use for these feelings, and no idea what the right thing to do here would be.

I feel if you truly love someone, you will let things be as they are and be happy for them. I do truly love Friend and that's why I choose not to tell him about my feelings. But when does the point come where my heart is in so many pieces I can't glue it back together again after each time I talk to him? I realize I caused my own problems by not being ready to be with him before, but life worked out for the both of us how it should have in terms of where we both sit now. I just feel like decisions have to infinitely be made now, and the one my heart tells me to make is to just stick this out and see how things are in a few months, or even a year. I just don't know if I can, but I don't want to let him again. I learned in the year we did not speak, that he's not someone I want out of my life.

I’m going to say something that the Neiers use ever so often when they’re stuck in a situation they can not understand or figure out how to work through, as it’s beyond their control. I think this truly reflects the situation as best as humanely possible.

And so it is.