"CowsAreEvil.com." "Undeniable."

This post isn't about creating memories or losing friends. It's about thanking the people in your life and realizing what is right in front of you. Let me explain.

Over the last few days, I've learned a lot about myself and relationships. As many of you know, I've been extremely conflicted with the issue with Friend. I am a spiritual person in many ways, and decided to charge through the last few days as if they were normal, hoping an answer that would make sense would come to me. Unconventionally, it did.

In the last few days I've heard quotes that have stuck with me, fitting to the situation, as well as turned on random television shows to have them be about what I'm going through. Imagine, there is an In Plain Sight that spoke to me, and that show is about WitSec. You can see how unexpected it was to find answers in a television show, but because it seemed like everywhere I turned something matching my exact situation was occurring in front of me, I took it as a sign, and with that, I took the knowledge and strength that I could carry, and then left out all the rest.

In a lot of ways, I am still conflicted, but I ultimately know in my heart what I should do and am comfortable with doing. The next blog will be more about this, but for now I want to talk about something else.

So let's talk about quacking cats.

You heard me.

Quacking cats.

The other day my cat came up to me, looked at me and legitimately quacked. When I thought I was hearing things, she did it again. She's made a lot of weird noises over the years, and I thought nothing could surprise me, but then she went and quacked. I'm starting to worry that she's a secret agent that can change animal identities as needed. I mean, SHE QUACKED, FOR HEAVEN SAKE!

I was also made aware that I no longer talk about my health issues on here like I did when the blog was started. The reason for this is because I had gotten so fed up with my health, and so exhausted over it, that I just didn't want to keep repeating it. I will give you all a quick update now.

My doctors have determined that I have an auto immune disease. It is showing up in my blood tests, but yet the blood tests are undetermined as to which I have. This is normal, apparently, and sometimes it can take years for a blood test to pinpoint which auto immune disease one has. At one time the doctors thought my grandmother had leukemia, only to find she had an auto immune disease, and then it took them four years to find out which one. It is suspected that I either have lupus, since I do have lupus anticoagulant, which can often be a precursor to such, and I have some of the symptoms but not enough to determine for sure. The other possibility is that I have Scleroderma, as it is believed that auto immune diseases can be genetic and that is what my grandma had. I also share her symptoms. Since symptoms are very similar and the blood is not determining, it's hard to tell for now. This also means nothing can be directly treated, so, as always, I am stuck not being allowed to work and waiting for my world to change. I hate not having control over my life.

On top of that, I haven't been feeling well the last couple of weeks. At first I thought I had a little kidney or bladder infection, since I seem to attract them quite often, but I took the medication for it and it never went away. Awhile back I mentioned that I had a polyp in my gallbladder, and because of this the doctor decided that eventually my gallbladder would start causing issues and he would have to take it. Those were his exact words; he would "take it." I feel like he wants to rob my body, but that's beyond the point. Because I have issues with anesthesia in my current state, he wanted to wait until we found out what was going on and could start treating it to make the procedure easier on my body. We now no longer know if we will be able to. Unfortunately, I will not be able to get in with this doctor until July, however, I will be going to my PCP and she will be able to make the call if she feels it is necessary to contact the other doctor and go ahead with a surgical evaluation immediately, or if it is not as bad as it feels and just a little something that can be easily treated for the time being.

Also, I need to have surgery on my leg. It's not major. I have a skin lump that is somewhat painful. They're pretty positive it's not cancerous, since it seems to be attached to my skin, but it is dangerously close to my one nerve, so they have to evaluate how, or if they will actually be able to remove it without causing damage. This is, by far, the least of my issues.

Other than that, I'm doing okay. Some days are better than others, but I'm not complaining. People in Haiti are living in hunger and despair. Men and woman are dying fighting for our freedom. And, as unhappy as this is, people are tortured and killed daily by serial killers and other evil beings. Considering, I have it pretty good. To complain would be selfish.

I would like to thank Zoe and Vivi Ann for being absolutely amazing human beings. You both are aspiring and wonderful. I both love and appreciate your comments. I am here for you girls no matter what you may need. Never hesitate to ask. Also, if everyone could congratulate Zoe on graduating, that would be awesome.

I will now leave you with a few quotes from my new obsessionally favorite show In Plain Sight. What you need to understand is that Mary is the dominate personality, who kicks ass and says it as it is, rarely caring if she offends anyone. Marshall is overly smart and often shares unwanted information with her, however, he is also very calm and unexpected, and quite sarcastically he shoots random comebacks out of his mouth in the most mellow ways possible.

Mary and Marshall, US Marshals and partners, are sifting through a list of websites that one of their witnesses is hosting, suspecting he's doing something wrong. They're looking for any websites that may sound funky, when Marshall comes across one.

Marshall: "CowsAreEvil.com"
Mary: "Undeniable."

Obviously, that wasn't the website they were looking for. When they do find it, this occurs.

Mary: "Here's something. SexySerge.com."
Marshall: "Do I want to look?"
Mary: "Just man up and do it."
Marshall: "Ugh, I'm going to be sick."
Mary: "Throw up later. We have to go."

This is a testament to Mary's personality if there ever was one.

Also in that list of websites.

Marshall: "SwifferMuseum.com. Why? How? WHY?!?"

This next little exchange is my personal favorite. The set up is that Mary is driving down the street and sees her troubled mother running down an alley in only a leotard. What she doesn't know is that her mother is auditioning for a play and had a dance rehearsal. In a panic, she calls Marshall, who also happens to be her best friend.

Marshall: "Hey, are you on your way in?"
Mary: *Pause* "I think my mother is a prostitute."
Marshall: *Without missing a beat* "So you're going to be late?"

Mary and Marshall go to pick up a witness at a federal state prison. Mary thinks Marshall drives like an old man and Marshall would rather walk than let Mary drive. Mary always wins.

Mary: "Give me the keys! I'm driving!"
Marshall: "Don't drive like you stole it."

During one episode, a child's father shot and killed his mother in a drug deal gone wrong. The father got sent to prison, the child testified and got put into WitSec with another family that was already in WitSec. Over the course of six months, they become close. Suddenly the charges are dropped against the father, he is released, and has signed a petition to regain custody of his son. Obviously this is a bad idea, so Mary, Marshall and their boss, Stan, fly out to settle this. They are speaking with the father's lawyer, who is a total jerk.

Mary: "How many times a week do people tell you, you suck?"
Lawyer: *To Stan* "You let her speak to me like this?"
Stan: "It seems like a valid question."

I think you all know me well enough to know that I am all about witty, individual characters who can not be compared to other characters, and say very inappropriate things that most networks wouldn't let anyone else get away with. This is what I appreciate about this show. The sarcasm is high, and the inappropriate answers Mary, as a US Marshal, slides by with would never be allowed in real life, but are true.

That being said, I shall leave you with this and this.