Corporation Fail

My friend works at Wal-Mart. She recently revealed that Wal-Mart will no longer accept ER excuses as a reason why someone took a day off. Out of all the asinine things they've done, and there's a long, long list, this takes the cake. I don't know about you, but I think being in the ER is a good reason to not come to work.

So here's my question. (Get ready for the longest, most grammatically challenged run on sentence ever.)

What if you say goodbye to your 2.3 children and movie star gorgeous husband, and leave your house, passing your white picket fence, and getting into your ultra trendy gas efficient vehicle, drive to your lovely job at Wal-Mart, get out of the car, walk down Wal-Mart's sidewalk, and the next thing you know there is a crack, a large one, not a small one, so you fall. You tumble head over heels, tit over ass, if you will, smacking your head on the pavement and causing serious bleeding. Ten people pass you by before someone finally steps in your bloody mess and is forced to stop. They bend over your body and tell you they are calling 911. With all you have in you, you tell them, "please, no, I must go to work or I'll get fired." They call anyway, and the ambulance gets there just in time to pronounce you dead for exactly twenty seven seconds. They manage to bring you back to life, it's a miracle!, but they must take you to the hospital ER to stitch up your head, give you a blood transfusion and make sure you don't, you know, die. All of this is caught on the video cameras that hover ever so above the sidewalk. Then would Wal-Mart accept the ER excuse just to avoid a lawsuit, or would you still be fired for not showing up?

Just wondering.