Chlorine Will Never Help This Lady's Gene Pool

Ladies and, well, mostly ladies, but if there's any gentleman, throw your hands up and let me know, because I've got a story for you all. Do you know how every time I have to sell something on Craigslist I have a story, and inevitably, each time I'm convinced I've met the biggest idiot on there? Well, today I found out I was wrong. Every single time, I was dead wrong.

While going through some things in the garage, we found a ton of horse tack that needed sold. Enter Craigslist and me immediately wanting to hurt someone before I even posted the stuff. I also had a few CD racks I wanted to sell, so I thought I'd post them, too. Below is a copy of the ad plus the picture; click to enlarge.

I have four CD storage units that I am selling separately or as one unit. From left to right, prices and information are as follows.

Fellows brand, holds approximately 100 CDs. Asking $6
Alpha brand, holds approximately 45 CDs. Asking $4
Holds approximately 28 CDs. Asking $3
Alpha Brand, holds approximately 120 CDs. Asking $8
Or all for $18.

Cash only on pickup. First come first served. Email me for more information or if you are interested in the items.

Simple enough, right? Then this lady emailed me, and before you read it, I warn you that I've shown this to a half a dozen people, and they can't figure out what's wrong with this lady other than two things that are very clear; she shouldn't be driving to pick this up from me because her tree doesn't go the whole way to the top, and she needs an award for biggest Craigslist asshole. Also, the racks she's inquiring about are the second from the left and the one to the far right. These emails have in no way been edited.

Hi,

Are the two Alpha stands matching?
I would like to purchase both of them if they are still available.

I am in North Huntingdon...........
Please let me know
Thank you.

Let me be honest, I have no idea what she's asking me when she's asking me if they match. I mean, they're the same brand and the exact same type of stand, only one is bigger and has more compartments, so yes, they match. I'm not alone in being confused by this, right? So this is what I emailed her back.

Hello,
They were bought separately, but yes, they do match. They are both still available.

Idiotically, I thought we had this taken care of, but obviously I was unaware of the stupidity that was this woman. It's strong with this one. She sends me this back.

I think I know what the look like ~ but can you send me
a better picture of one of them?

Also, when and where would I be able to pick them up?
Thanks.

At this point, I wanted to reach through the screen and slap this bitch of a woman in a face. There was no need to be snarky. But then I realized that this lady also has no idea what she's asking me. If she can see what they look like, then WHY IN THE HELL IS SHE ASKING ME IF THEY MATCH? I have no idea what she's asking me. I can't express that enough. Therefore, she got this response.

I apologize, but these are the only pictures I have.

Come on, I was not about to go back down to the garage, pull out the stands, and take more pictures when this lady had not a clue in her brain of, well, anything, including what she was talking about. Not to mention, I hardly want this lady at my house. Thank the good Lord in heaven that she did not email me back.

I'm sure I will have more stories, as we've just begun to scratch the surface of what I have for sale. I'll be sure to keep you updated if she gets back to me, but I guarantee you I'm done dealing with her. I'll give the things to Habitat For Humanity Restore before I'll deal with her.