Okay, I’ve decided to do something kind of nifty and maybe not really so nifty at all on this blog. I have come to the conclusion that I like having little “sets” of things to write about. For example, the series “set” I just started yesterday, which you can check out below, called “Good Girls Go Bad.” It helps me organize my tags on my blog, and also makes my OCD happy. Hopefully, it makes the readers happy and gives you all something to look forward to, as well.
There are many they’re-so-unimportant-that-they’re-important things I’ve learned from being both sick, and as a result of that, being home for so gosh darn long. I thrive on working, but since I can’t, I’ve had to find new ways to amuse myself. Somedays I don’t feel good enough to get on my computer, think, write and socialize. Those days become the days that I learn the scariest of all things.
I will talk to anything.
And, in case this wasn’t clear enough, I do mean anything.
Before I even get into what exactly it is that I talk to, let me just say that it’s been mentioned several times that I should start a web show, or post videos strictly on my blog, if I didn’t want to humiliate myself on YouTube. Apparently what I talk to and the conversations I have are just that amusing and hilarious, and everyone seems to think I have a hit. It’s sad there’s an “everyone,” now isn’t there?
You have no idea.
So now that you’re all wondering what I talk to, I shall reveal my sad little secret. But, before I do so, please keep in mind that I know how sad it is that I talk to such things, and yes, I am really that bored. If you’d like to be my friend and keep me from talking to such things, feel free. Of course, I’m unsure of why you would want to be friends with someone who talks to inanimate objects, but hey, what do I know? In my defense, this is a fairly new thing that came about from boredom.
I talk to stuffed animals.
And not just stuffed animals. I talk to dog toys, too, as long as they’re plush.
And sometimes when I’m really bored, I will have them have conversations with each other, with body movements and everything.
Yes, that did need to be typed up in three separate sections, as opposed to one paragraph. I just really wanted to admit that and let it sink in, because once you get past how sad that actually is, it’s pretty funny. I mean, basically I’m the same as a ventriloquist or a puppeteer, only I don’t get paid, and I don’t use dummies or puppets.
Oh no, I am the new wave. I go full out fearless with stuffed animals.
And just to let you guys know how far this awesome-but-oh-so-scary-ness goes, I shall let you all be privy to some of my material.
One of my favorite things to do is to play with my dog’s toys. The way that this got started was I realized if I would take one of their toys and hide it next to me, the dogs would get all kinds of excited and give lots of kisses. I love my dogs, so this really makes my day that much brighter.
I then decided to take it to the next level, as after awhile they would get bored with a non moving dog toy and walk away. I could not have that. After all, the entire point of creatively borrowing the dog toys was to get kissies and huggles from them. Therefore, I had to come up with a new plan.
I quickly learned that if I animated the toy, the dogs suddenly got even more excited and this made things twice as fun. So basically, what started out as a way of playing with my dogs turned into full force, talking, action taking, name carrying chaos. If you knew me, this wouldn’t be all that surprising.
It started out with me playing with the toys that resembled stuffed animals, and then went straight to me playing with the long, non stuffed, slinky type plush toys. They were way more fun seeing as u could stretch them out, they could peek their heads out from behind me, and then slink back into themselves and retreat to hiding once again.
After I lost their attention with that, I would whip the whole toy, whichever it may be, out in front of their eyes, and then gently have the toy creep towards the dog until it got their attention back. After that, the toy would poke them, or laugh at them, or whatever I could come up with and put my voice to.
I never expected anyone other than the dogs to be entertained by my bored insanity, but apparently I underestimated the boredom of the people around me.
Because of this, there are now story lines that go with some of the dog toys, and I shall share one with you now. Also, have no doubt that my mom gets in on this, and she’s actually the one who started doing this with regular stuffed animals, two in particular, so as you can see, I just come from a line of bored, stuffed animal talking folk. I can’t be totally blamed for this.
The most popular story line I use is one of a poor, unsuspected yellow, green, and orange caterpillar dog toy. Since he is a dog toy, yes he, that means he’s not a real caterpillar, therefore, he’s considered to be a cattiputter. With me so far?
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.
Now, this specific cattiputter is not just any cattiputter. No sir-re-George, he is not. He is, in fact, a spy who has come to has via Kittenschnootenbaught. (Pronounced: Kitten-shnoot-en-bought.)
The most confusing thing about all of this may just be the fact that he will not reveal to us exactly what country Kittenschnootenbaught is in, but from what we can gather from him, it’s in a place somewhere in around Russia. We also gather that his spy duties are similar to those of a Israeli Mossad.
This is a deep story line for a dog toy, I know. But trust me, you ain’t heard nothing yet.
He’s deep under cover over in the good old U.S of A, but why and for what reason, we are unsure. In his country, cattiputters are actual beings and have their own colonies, but when he came here he decided to disguise himself as a dog toy, which wasn’t hard, because as luck would have it, minus the vendor stamp, he happened to look exactly like one. Therefore, he jumped mischievously into a batch of dog toys being shipped to the U.S, we bought him, and BAM, that’s how we ended up with an undercover cattiputter from the land of Kittenschnootenbaught.
It gets worse.
In his own country, his real, birth given name is Slamishka Zombendorg. (It’s pronounced exactly how it sounds, pathetically enough.) He is living in this country as Bentley VroomVroom. (No, I could not come up with anything better.) Bentley VroomVroom is also his code name.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, it still gets even worse.
The last little piece of information that we know about dear ole Bentley, who does prefer we call him that, as we would not want to do something ala Tony Dinozzo (Or Dinardo, as was the case) and blow his cover, is that he does have his own way of transportation. When we’re not keeping an eye on him, he is scooting about the town in a mysterious vehicle known to us as only a Mutenortz.
We have yet to see or figure out what a Mutenortz is, but I guess that’s neither here nor there.
And there you have it, folks, the extent of my boredom. As you can all see, it’s dangerous when I’m not working, and I would rather be working, because goodness does it take a lot of stupid effort to come up with things such as the information above. So really, when I say I’d rather be working, you can all now understand why. I want to talk to real people, not dog toys and stuffed animals.
I think you can also understand through reading that why I am also working on a children’s series of books based on Greta Hayley’s daily adventures.
On top of that, can you all understand why I’m considering doing a web show with the dog toys and stuffed animals? I mean, obviously I’m bored, and unable to work or feel well at will. Trust me, I’ve tried. The only thing stopping me is that I’m unsure if children would find me freakishly amusing, or if they would run screaming to their parents and crying about the crazy lady who needs committed. It’s a toss up.
I have to figure, though, that if grown men can sing children songs, dress in spandex, dance with Furries, and call themselves “The Wiggles,” is it really so far fetched that a very bored twenty three year old woman could make an amusing children’s show out of a few stuffed animals and dog toys?
Oh, and before I forget to add this, here is a picture of Bentley. Now, I know he’s a bit dirty, but as I said, he’s undercover as a dog toy, and boy do they play with him. So excuse his appearance. Also, I don’t know if I’m allowed to put his picture online or if it is compromising to his investigation, so if you see any other “dog toys” that look similar to this, please don’t tell them you saw Bentley. K?
There are many they’re-so-unimportant-that-they’re-important things I’ve learned from being both sick, and as a result of that, being home for so gosh darn long. I thrive on working, but since I can’t, I’ve had to find new ways to amuse myself. Somedays I don’t feel good enough to get on my computer, think, write and socialize. Those days become the days that I learn the scariest of all things.
I will talk to anything.
And, in case this wasn’t clear enough, I do mean anything.
Before I even get into what exactly it is that I talk to, let me just say that it’s been mentioned several times that I should start a web show, or post videos strictly on my blog, if I didn’t want to humiliate myself on YouTube. Apparently what I talk to and the conversations I have are just that amusing and hilarious, and everyone seems to think I have a hit. It’s sad there’s an “everyone,” now isn’t there?
You have no idea.
So now that you’re all wondering what I talk to, I shall reveal my sad little secret. But, before I do so, please keep in mind that I know how sad it is that I talk to such things, and yes, I am really that bored. If you’d like to be my friend and keep me from talking to such things, feel free. Of course, I’m unsure of why you would want to be friends with someone who talks to inanimate objects, but hey, what do I know? In my defense, this is a fairly new thing that came about from boredom.
I talk to stuffed animals.
And not just stuffed animals. I talk to dog toys, too, as long as they’re plush.
And sometimes when I’m really bored, I will have them have conversations with each other, with body movements and everything.
Yes, that did need to be typed up in three separate sections, as opposed to one paragraph. I just really wanted to admit that and let it sink in, because once you get past how sad that actually is, it’s pretty funny. I mean, basically I’m the same as a ventriloquist or a puppeteer, only I don’t get paid, and I don’t use dummies or puppets.
Oh no, I am the new wave. I go full out fearless with stuffed animals.
And just to let you guys know how far this awesome-but-oh-so-scary-ness goes, I shall let you all be privy to some of my material.
One of my favorite things to do is to play with my dog’s toys. The way that this got started was I realized if I would take one of their toys and hide it next to me, the dogs would get all kinds of excited and give lots of kisses. I love my dogs, so this really makes my day that much brighter.
I then decided to take it to the next level, as after awhile they would get bored with a non moving dog toy and walk away. I could not have that. After all, the entire point of creatively borrowing the dog toys was to get kissies and huggles from them. Therefore, I had to come up with a new plan.
I quickly learned that if I animated the toy, the dogs suddenly got even more excited and this made things twice as fun. So basically, what started out as a way of playing with my dogs turned into full force, talking, action taking, name carrying chaos. If you knew me, this wouldn’t be all that surprising.
It started out with me playing with the toys that resembled stuffed animals, and then went straight to me playing with the long, non stuffed, slinky type plush toys. They were way more fun seeing as u could stretch them out, they could peek their heads out from behind me, and then slink back into themselves and retreat to hiding once again.
After I lost their attention with that, I would whip the whole toy, whichever it may be, out in front of their eyes, and then gently have the toy creep towards the dog until it got their attention back. After that, the toy would poke them, or laugh at them, or whatever I could come up with and put my voice to.
I never expected anyone other than the dogs to be entertained by my bored insanity, but apparently I underestimated the boredom of the people around me.
Because of this, there are now story lines that go with some of the dog toys, and I shall share one with you now. Also, have no doubt that my mom gets in on this, and she’s actually the one who started doing this with regular stuffed animals, two in particular, so as you can see, I just come from a line of bored, stuffed animal talking folk. I can’t be totally blamed for this.
The most popular story line I use is one of a poor, unsuspected yellow, green, and orange caterpillar dog toy. Since he is a dog toy, yes he, that means he’s not a real caterpillar, therefore, he’s considered to be a cattiputter. With me so far?
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.
Now, this specific cattiputter is not just any cattiputter. No sir-re-George, he is not. He is, in fact, a spy who has come to has via Kittenschnootenbaught. (Pronounced: Kitten-shnoot-en-bought.)
The most confusing thing about all of this may just be the fact that he will not reveal to us exactly what country Kittenschnootenbaught is in, but from what we can gather from him, it’s in a place somewhere in around Russia. We also gather that his spy duties are similar to those of a Israeli Mossad.
This is a deep story line for a dog toy, I know. But trust me, you ain’t heard nothing yet.
He’s deep under cover over in the good old U.S of A, but why and for what reason, we are unsure. In his country, cattiputters are actual beings and have their own colonies, but when he came here he decided to disguise himself as a dog toy, which wasn’t hard, because as luck would have it, minus the vendor stamp, he happened to look exactly like one. Therefore, he jumped mischievously into a batch of dog toys being shipped to the U.S, we bought him, and BAM, that’s how we ended up with an undercover cattiputter from the land of Kittenschnootenbaught.
It gets worse.
In his own country, his real, birth given name is Slamishka Zombendorg. (It’s pronounced exactly how it sounds, pathetically enough.) He is living in this country as Bentley VroomVroom. (No, I could not come up with anything better.) Bentley VroomVroom is also his code name.
And if that wasn’t bad enough, it still gets even worse.
The last little piece of information that we know about dear ole Bentley, who does prefer we call him that, as we would not want to do something ala Tony Dinozzo (Or Dinardo, as was the case) and blow his cover, is that he does have his own way of transportation. When we’re not keeping an eye on him, he is scooting about the town in a mysterious vehicle known to us as only a Mutenortz.
We have yet to see or figure out what a Mutenortz is, but I guess that’s neither here nor there.
And there you have it, folks, the extent of my boredom. As you can all see, it’s dangerous when I’m not working, and I would rather be working, because goodness does it take a lot of stupid effort to come up with things such as the information above. So really, when I say I’d rather be working, you can all now understand why. I want to talk to real people, not dog toys and stuffed animals.
I think you can also understand through reading that why I am also working on a children’s series of books based on Greta Hayley’s daily adventures.
On top of that, can you all understand why I’m considering doing a web show with the dog toys and stuffed animals? I mean, obviously I’m bored, and unable to work or feel well at will. Trust me, I’ve tried. The only thing stopping me is that I’m unsure if children would find me freakishly amusing, or if they would run screaming to their parents and crying about the crazy lady who needs committed. It’s a toss up.
I have to figure, though, that if grown men can sing children songs, dress in spandex, dance with Furries, and call themselves “The Wiggles,” is it really so far fetched that a very bored twenty three year old woman could make an amusing children’s show out of a few stuffed animals and dog toys?
Oh, and before I forget to add this, here is a picture of Bentley. Now, I know he’s a bit dirty, but as I said, he’s undercover as a dog toy, and boy do they play with him. So excuse his appearance. Also, I don’t know if I’m allowed to put his picture online or if it is compromising to his investigation, so if you see any other “dog toys” that look similar to this, please don’t tell them you saw Bentley. K?
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