Now, if you've been reading this blog for awhile you know that it's very rare that I make lists on this blog, and will do it when necessary. Usually I rant from paragraph to paragraph and just keep changing the subject, but this time I will spare you because I have a bunch of different categories to write about. I would like this to make sense, but I think sense ran out my window awhile ago. Please just know that this all happened between Tuesday night and yesterday night...all in a twenty four hour period. If this doesn't make sense to you, imagine how I felt while living through it, and still feel now that I'm reliving it through here. Yeah, just think about it.
First of all, though, I want to take a minute to talk about this. It happened the other night in my area and my heart goes out to all of the people who were hurt, killed, or somehow involved in this and their families. This includes the family of the man who committed the act, because they, too, lost a son. I know that in a time like this it is so easy to forget that, and to hate them, but they are not the one who committed the act, only the innocent bystanders. May everyone who lost a life R.I.P. May those who have not keep on fighting and have a full recovery.
Because nothing in my life is cold cut and dry, I must explain to you all how I found out about this horrific tragedy. Look, I don’t watch a lot of television, and if I do, it’s usually not the news. I get all my news from the internet, but often don’t bother to check the local news, so I probably wouldn’t have even known about it if it wasn’t for this little incident.
Tuesday night I was sitting in my room gleefully typing away when my mom comes in and goes “I am so pissed off. The one show I watch (Big Brother) and they have to interrupt with a stupid newscast. There was a shooting or something and I am just so pissed off.” You know, I understand she loves her big brother, but hello, other people are pissed off too because THEY’VE BEEN SHOT! Just thought I’d point that out.
After I did find this out, I came into the living room and turned on the television to the newscast of the shooting. There was a newscaster interviewing an eye witness, naturally. What wasn't natural is this conversation.
Eye Witness: "There were a few victims coming out of the building, holding their wounds and looking for help."
Newscaster: "So, how did they look?"
*Pause for an awkward moment in which the eye witness stands and stares at the newscaster like it's not only his first day on the job, but he's also on drugs.*
Newscaster: "Well, I mean I know they were shot and everything, but did they look like they were doing okay? Obviously they weren't in good shape, but what did their general demeanor seem to be like?"
Eye Witness: "They were SHOT and fleeing for help. I really have no idea what you're asking me."
My responses, as I yelled at the television like the people on it could hear me: "How do you think they looked. They were just shot! It's not like they were gleeful!"
Newscaster: "So, how did they look?"
*Pause for an awkward moment in which the eye witness stands and stares at the newscaster like it's not only his first day on the job, but he's also on drugs.*
Newscaster: "Well, I mean I know they were shot and everything, but did they look like they were doing okay? Obviously they weren't in good shape, but what did their general demeanor seem to be like?"
Eye Witness: "They were SHOT and fleeing for help. I really have no idea what you're asking me."
My responses, as I yelled at the television like the people on it could hear me: "How do you think they looked. They were just shot! It's not like they were gleeful!"
And that folks, is a total norm here in western Pennsylvania. Too bad my mom wasn't up to see that. I'm sure she couldn't have complained about missing her show after that. That's just straight up comedy that not even the best writers could script.
Speaking of my mother, let me just list the random little conversations we’ve had in that twenty four hour period of which I speak.
* My mom wanted me to get something for her Tuesday night, so instead of giving me the normal, “Hey, go get that please and thanks,” she says this instead.
“Hey Amy, go get me the screen. Please, with bumblebees on top.”
This was not a normal request, so I gave her the best reply I had.
“If bumblebees are involved, then hell no.”
And I walked away. (To get the screen, of course.)
This was not a normal request, so I gave her the best reply I had.
“If bumblebees are involved, then hell no.”
And I walked away. (To get the screen, of course.)
* Tuesday we were also discussing how someone cut his hair and how nice it looked compared to his last haircut. Now, the proper response to this would be, “Oh wow, he looks really nice with that haircut. He looks so much better with it.” My response, however, was this.
"Obviously he was pretty drugged up here (in the picture of his old hair cut), which really didn't help his haircut. But nothing was going to help that hairdo. Where is his mother?"
My mom's response? Poignant agreement.
My mom's response? Poignant agreement.
* I also learned that my mom pronounces chamomile like this. Cam-a-lot-ti. I want to give her an a for effort, but there's two problems with that. There is no a in efforts, and I don't really know what kind of effort it took for her to pronounce something that incorrectly, so let's just give her an F for effort, knowing that it makes as much sense as giving her an a for effort.
* Also in the course of the night, I got up to get away from her watching of Big Brother that incidentally got interrupted. When doing this, she looks straight at me and goes.
* Also in the course of the night, I got up to get away from her watching of Big Brother that incidentally got interrupted. When doing this, she looks straight at me and goes.
"I never see you anymore!"
My response: "I live with you and I'm not allowed to drive because I'm sick. I'm home all the time..."
My response: "I live with you and I'm not allowed to drive because I'm sick. I'm home all the time..."
* Yesterday was full of doctors appointments yesterday, and while waiting for my Grandma's doctor in the room, I got up to go to the bathroom, which really isn't important, but I like to over share. When I came back, I walked into the room to my mom saying this. It was just she and my eighty one year old Grandma, no doctor yet, so I don't even want to know.
There were hand motions involved. That's all I'm saying.
"You know, rubbers. Like you put on."
There were hand motions involved. That's all I'm saying.
And while we're on the subject of my mom, we may as well go right into what Aunt Bev said while she was here Tuesday night, because as we all know those two go together like two peas in a pod. Or, you know, two crazy people in an insane asylum. (Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Aunt Bev. However, I will be the one taking care of both of you in your senior years, so I'm just picking on you guys now while it's still okay and not terribly evil and rude and what not. If I do it when you're in your 80's and in a home, that would just be impolite.)
* I'm not even going to say what this is in reference to, because honestly, it's just not worth it. It speaks for itself whether you know the situation or not, and the situation is not mine to discuss. (See, I have morals, Mom and Aunt Bev. Really, I do.)
* I'm not even going to say what this is in reference to, because honestly, it's just not worth it. It speaks for itself whether you know the situation or not, and the situation is not mine to discuss. (See, I have morals, Mom and Aunt Bev. Really, I do.)
Aunt Bev: "It's easier to have sex in a bed than a chair. You didn't hear that, Amy."
It's refreshing to know that no matter how old I get, I will always be twelve in her eyes. Even if that was eleven years ago. Well, eleven and a half to be more specific, but who likes specifics anyway? Oh, that's right. I do.
* On a side note, though, Aunt Bev mentioned that I was like a daughter to her. I was the daughter she never got to have, which really touched me because she's like a really awesome second mommy to me. It made my whole year, and the whole rest of it as well.
As I mentioned a little bit ago, yesterday was all day doctors appointments. We were gone for a full twelve hours which just wiped me the hell out. My grandma had three appointments and I had one, but there were also four hours between two of my grandma's appointments, and our last two in which we see the same doctor back to back. With a day like this, it left a lot of room for hilarity, especially when we left so early that we were too tired to think correctly.
Now, I've mentioned my grandmother before, but unless you've been reading this blog for a good long time, you wouldn't know that. You can find the prior posts here and here. However, one of the funniest, most prolific stories comes from within one of those really insanely long blogs, and it gets lost. Therefore, I will post it below in italics. I hate doing re-posts, but I'm not mean enough to make you search out the story in the blog, and for you to really get the full impact of why I had such a blast with my grandmother yesterday, you have to understand her, and the story below is probably the best way for you to really get a good grasp on who she is and how quirky she is. Basically, think Aunt Bev only older.
This got us started on older guys that are hot, and could get away with dating twenty somethings and it wouldn't be all that weird. My grandma sat there as Aunt Bev and I tossed around over forty guys that had it going on. Eventually we started pulling up pictures on my Sidekick and making my eighty one year old grandma rate them. It was awesome and went a lot like this.
For some reason, the first person Aunt Bev threw out there was Flavor Flav. Luckily, it was as a joke and we laughed hysterically, because no offense, but he's a little frightening. We showed a picture of him to my grandma and she didn't know how to react. She was between thinking it hilarious and being really frightened. My grandma tries not to say too much, but sometimes things just slip out. The best she had for him was that he was "interesting." For my grandma, that's like saying he's special in the paste eating kind of way.
From there I pointed out Jensen Ackles from the show Supernatural. He's only thirty one, so he wasn't really in our "hot older guys" age range, but after Flavor Flav, we just needed some kind of hotness. I showed my grandma the same picture of him attached to the link at his name, and she sat there and stared at it for awhile, and then said "this is much better." To her, that's like saying he's a fucking hottie.
We moved on to my beloved George Eads. Okay, beloved is a strong word, but you get the picture. I think he's really one of those guys who could get away with dating a twenty something and it would all be okay and no one would think it to be that odd. Grandma rated him pretty high on her scale, however I can't remember the exact wording.
My mom had heard us talking from the bedroom and came out to join in. After she and Aunt Bev named a bunch of people who were in their forties in the seventies, therefore making them irrelevant, as we were trying to figure out forty somethings that were hot now and I wouldn't think it would be creepy to date, she finally came out with a good one. I don't know how many of you remember the show Walker, Texas Ranger (yes, that show with Chuck Norris), but in the last two seasons of it they added a younger ranger who was played by Judson Mills. Although grandma didn't say much about him, at the end of the conversation, she decided he was her favorite.
My mom also decided she liked Judson, but has a special place for poor thirty one year old Jenson. Now that's creepy. Aunt Bev took the otherwise not mentioned Johnny Depp. I didn't show him to my grandma, because he's never really sparked any desire within me. I don't find him hot and I realize that I am probably the only girl on the entire planet that does not, but I just don't. Anyway, surprise to everyone, I picked George Eads.
See how my Grandma and Aunt Bev are one in the same? See? You do, right? I mean, how many grandma's could you talk about hot older guys with, and have her rate them? None, right? Right! Just go with me on this one. Thank you!
Okay, now that that's done, I will get into her first of several quotes from yesterday of which I twittered just because they were that great and I wanted to remember them.
* This first one comes from when she was getting her vitals taken in the doctor's office. They take vitals through a little clamp on your finger which is dandy, except Grandma has Scleroderma and one of the symptoms is that her hands are always freezing their butts off. (Not that hands have butts, but go with me here.) This often means that she either can't get a read, or gets an incorrect one that could scare death into any good nurse, especially interns. So per the usual, the nurse was taking my grandma's vitals and after several times of the nurse making her sit on her hands, stand on her head, and just about every other hilarious thing, my grandma looks at her with a dead pan face and goes.
If you know my grandma, this is basically her way of saying, "Hey, Bitch, you are a nice lady and all but don't make me sit on my hands one more time. I am old and this is just not going to work." Despite that, this nurse did eventually have success and we cheered. Not out loud or anything, but believe me, we were doing it.
* Later on we were filling out questionnaires for the one doctor who we both see at the same time. I went and retrieved the papers early and we did it while we were eating lunch in that big four hour gap. While filling them out this happened.
There are also some things that I learned, I realized, or that had happen over that twenty four hour period. They go as follows.
* I love when game show hosts say inappropriate things. Especially at a doctor's office with a ton of older people watching. It kind of makes my world go round.
* It's okay to admit defeat when you've actually been defeated. Everyone is defeated at some point in their life, but what counts is that you get back up again and keep going. You don't even have to smile. You just have to try.
* Becky and I are very capable of having long, drawn out conversations about how we are confused because someone else is confused. It's pretty hinky and my life loves me. This is just right up my alley.
* My mom's teeny, tiny, almost microscopic purse is heavier than my large one with a copy of Breaking Dawn inside of it. And no, I don't carry Twilight Saga books with me everywhere. I had to have something to do while we sat and waited, although I only read like five pages, and that was after we got back to my Grandma's later. So yeah, okay, I guess technically I did just carry it around for no reason.
* I overheard this conversation exactly. As the receptionist sat at her desk in a very open main lobby of the hospital, she turns and says to a co-worker "I said to my therapist, I want to be three again." She said "No, you can't." I told her, "But that's when my life started going wrong. That's the age everything went downhill for me." I hope she doesn't wonder why she's in therapy. I don't.
*I insulted someone I didn't know without knowing it. I was making fun of my friend and his penchant for wearing girls jeans, cowboy belt buckles and flannel shirts, and apparently some guy standing behind my mother that I could not see was wearing just that. Hey, it's not my fault he dresses poorly. He has to know that's not a good way to dress, right? Oh God, please tell me I'm right!
* There was a guy in the one office waiting room who was in his forties and busy texting when Ellen happened to say "Today on our show we have Kris Allen." This guy's head snapped up and faced the television so fast that I thought it was going to fall off. Then Ellen said "He will be here later." The guy made an ick face and went back to texting. Then, right before Kris came on, the guy got called back. I was amused by him. Scared, but amused.
* There was a comic in the doctor's office that had two cows on it. They sat on the couch staring at the phone, and it said. "There it goes again." ... "And we just sit here without opposable thumbs." It's either so hilarious that it's deadly, or so stupid that it's not funny at all, but the randomosity of it wins no matter how you look at it. Who comes up with stuff like that?
* I was reminded of the story where Aunt Bev used to rubber band her poofy slips way back in the day so that she could get them all in her closet, and one day her father got in her closet only to have the rubber bands break and her slips fly all over the place. When Aunt Bev came home she found him standing there astounded by these slips that were all over the place. He looked at her and said: "I don't know how you control these things. How can own something you can't control?" Then he walked out of the room totally astounded and in shock that he really was just attacked by his daughter's slips. I don't know if I've told this story before, but it was worth repeating.
* I was one hundred percent owned by Greta Hayley. I got her a cookie and she sat down with it only to have it roll under the cedar chest. She started to cry towards it, so I realized what was going on and got up to get the treat out, and then went back to what I was doing. A few minutes later she started looking and crying at the cedar chest again, so I went back over thinking the cookie had taken off again. I got down on the floor, shoved my head up against it, generally looked like a goober, only to find that there was no cookie over there. She punked me. And when I got back up, she barked at me and then ran in circles all excited like. She totally knew she did it. She was proud.
* I was very unfortunately reminded of the time that I had to go to the hospital for a foot injury which involved a 120lb wooden crate coming down no my foot. My grandma also had to go to the same hospital that day for one simple test, so it worked out. That was until Grandma's test results didn't come back so great and she ended up having to have an invasive test done right there and then, and it took about six hours. I couldn't walk, Grandma couldn't walk, and my mom was the only one there to push both wheelchairs. Add my eighty four year old Aunt to the mix, because she just wanted to go with us, and let's just say you had more chaos than one can explain. To make it even better, when we finally got home almost twelve hours later, my Aunt thanked us for taking her because she had a nice day. I LOVE my family. Seriously. They don't usually get along, but everyone gets along with me and visa versa, so from this angle it's a whole lot of funny.
* I saw the word tithe on a church sign and had to google what it meant. I know that's really bad, but it's an old English word. Apparently old English words sound dirty.
Okay, that's all for today. (Thank God, right?) Tomorrow will probably be a short post, but I am planning on posting a picture of my new hair cut. Every time I get my hair cut short people tend to compare me to Alice Cullen from Twilight. Not the movie, but the way she was explained in the book. I can't help it I'm pale and small, and that people told me this prior to me knowing what the heck Twilight was. That picture is coming hopefully tomorrow. There should also be another picture win, too.
* On a side note, though, Aunt Bev mentioned that I was like a daughter to her. I was the daughter she never got to have, which really touched me because she's like a really awesome second mommy to me. It made my whole year, and the whole rest of it as well.
As I mentioned a little bit ago, yesterday was all day doctors appointments. We were gone for a full twelve hours which just wiped me the hell out. My grandma had three appointments and I had one, but there were also four hours between two of my grandma's appointments, and our last two in which we see the same doctor back to back. With a day like this, it left a lot of room for hilarity, especially when we left so early that we were too tired to think correctly.
Now, I've mentioned my grandmother before, but unless you've been reading this blog for a good long time, you wouldn't know that. You can find the prior posts here and here. However, one of the funniest, most prolific stories comes from within one of those really insanely long blogs, and it gets lost. Therefore, I will post it below in italics. I hate doing re-posts, but I'm not mean enough to make you search out the story in the blog, and for you to really get the full impact of why I had such a blast with my grandmother yesterday, you have to understand her, and the story below is probably the best way for you to really get a good grasp on who she is and how quirky she is. Basically, think Aunt Bev only older.
This got us started on older guys that are hot, and could get away with dating twenty somethings and it wouldn't be all that weird. My grandma sat there as Aunt Bev and I tossed around over forty guys that had it going on. Eventually we started pulling up pictures on my Sidekick and making my eighty one year old grandma rate them. It was awesome and went a lot like this.
For some reason, the first person Aunt Bev threw out there was Flavor Flav. Luckily, it was as a joke and we laughed hysterically, because no offense, but he's a little frightening. We showed a picture of him to my grandma and she didn't know how to react. She was between thinking it hilarious and being really frightened. My grandma tries not to say too much, but sometimes things just slip out. The best she had for him was that he was "interesting." For my grandma, that's like saying he's special in the paste eating kind of way.
From there I pointed out Jensen Ackles from the show Supernatural. He's only thirty one, so he wasn't really in our "hot older guys" age range, but after Flavor Flav, we just needed some kind of hotness. I showed my grandma the same picture of him attached to the link at his name, and she sat there and stared at it for awhile, and then said "this is much better." To her, that's like saying he's a fucking hottie.
We moved on to my beloved George Eads. Okay, beloved is a strong word, but you get the picture. I think he's really one of those guys who could get away with dating a twenty something and it would all be okay and no one would think it to be that odd. Grandma rated him pretty high on her scale, however I can't remember the exact wording.
My mom had heard us talking from the bedroom and came out to join in. After she and Aunt Bev named a bunch of people who were in their forties in the seventies, therefore making them irrelevant, as we were trying to figure out forty somethings that were hot now and I wouldn't think it would be creepy to date, she finally came out with a good one. I don't know how many of you remember the show Walker, Texas Ranger (yes, that show with Chuck Norris), but in the last two seasons of it they added a younger ranger who was played by Judson Mills. Although grandma didn't say much about him, at the end of the conversation, she decided he was her favorite.
My mom also decided she liked Judson, but has a special place for poor thirty one year old Jenson. Now that's creepy. Aunt Bev took the otherwise not mentioned Johnny Depp. I didn't show him to my grandma, because he's never really sparked any desire within me. I don't find him hot and I realize that I am probably the only girl on the entire planet that does not, but I just don't. Anyway, surprise to everyone, I picked George Eads.
See how my Grandma and Aunt Bev are one in the same? See? You do, right? I mean, how many grandma's could you talk about hot older guys with, and have her rate them? None, right? Right! Just go with me on this one. Thank you!
Okay, now that that's done, I will get into her first of several quotes from yesterday of which I twittered just because they were that great and I wanted to remember them.
* This first one comes from when she was getting her vitals taken in the doctor's office. They take vitals through a little clamp on your finger which is dandy, except Grandma has Scleroderma and one of the symptoms is that her hands are always freezing their butts off. (Not that hands have butts, but go with me here.) This often means that she either can't get a read, or gets an incorrect one that could scare death into any good nurse, especially interns. So per the usual, the nurse was taking my grandma's vitals and after several times of the nurse making her sit on her hands, stand on her head, and just about every other hilarious thing, my grandma looks at her with a dead pan face and goes.
"I think you just gave up on me last time."
If you know my grandma, this is basically her way of saying, "Hey, Bitch, you are a nice lady and all but don't make me sit on my hands one more time. I am old and this is just not going to work." Despite that, this nurse did eventually have success and we cheered. Not out loud or anything, but believe me, we were doing it.
* Later on we were filling out questionnaires for the one doctor who we both see at the same time. I went and retrieved the papers early and we did it while we were eating lunch in that big four hour gap. While filling them out this happened.
Grandma (Reading aloud): "Do you have any pain today?"
And then, without missing a beat, she goes, "I AM a pain!"
And then, without missing a beat, she goes, "I AM a pain!"
* Also, while we were sitting and talking, Gram was telling us about how my Great Uncle went to visit my other Uncle who really isn't my Uncle's house in Utah. He built it on a mountain side, so it was straight up and down, four stories. Now understand that the Uncle who went to visit is in his eighties, so my grandma was asking him how he liked the house. His response.
Yes, that does way what you think it does. He was there for ten days and only saw the first two floors. He never bothered to go past that. He just didn't care. I love my family.
* The one doctor that we both see was over an hour behind, but that didn't stop the nurses from putting us all in the tiny room for that wait, so my mom was trying to amuse herself by looking out the window. My mom was waving to people and everything, but because of where the window was situated, they never saw her. It's kind of creepy if you think about it. My grandma eventually got bored and decided to be the peanut gallery.
I guess you had to be there for this one, but the way my grandma said it killed. I was just waiting for the lesbian insinuations to go flying, but Grandma behaved. Well, for awhile at least.
* Then she realized she, too, could look out the window and wave at people, and also talk to them even though they couldn't see or hear her. We were just all that bored. While she was at the window, I decided to inquire about what she was seeing since both she and my mom spent a significant amount of time by it by I had not.
And she was serious. Now, folks, what makes this, other than an eighty year old busting out with that, is that the hospital we were at is also right in the middle of a college campus and there are many, many young interns there. To be fair, though, in all the times I've been up there, I've only ever seen one hot guy. Sad, isn't it? Then again, should I really be trying to pick up guys at the doctors? That kind of defeats the whole point of going to said doctors.
"It was nice, but I've never been to the top."
Yes, that does way what you think it does. He was there for ten days and only saw the first two floors. He never bothered to go past that. He just didn't care. I love my family.
* The one doctor that we both see was over an hour behind, but that didn't stop the nurses from putting us all in the tiny room for that wait, so my mom was trying to amuse herself by looking out the window. My mom was waving to people and everything, but because of where the window was situated, they never saw her. It's kind of creepy if you think about it. My grandma eventually got bored and decided to be the peanut gallery.
Grandma: "Stop flirting with the guys out there."
Mom: "It was a girl and I was just waving."
Grandma: "That's even worse."
Mom: "It was a girl and I was just waving."
Grandma: "That's even worse."
I guess you had to be there for this one, but the way my grandma said it killed. I was just waiting for the lesbian insinuations to go flying, but Grandma behaved. Well, for awhile at least.
* Then she realized she, too, could look out the window and wave at people, and also talk to them even though they couldn't see or hear her. We were just all that bored. While she was at the window, I decided to inquire about what she was seeing since both she and my mom spent a significant amount of time by it by I had not.
Me: "Are there any hot guys out there?"
Grandma: "No. They're all stupid looking."
Grandma: "No. They're all stupid looking."
And she was serious. Now, folks, what makes this, other than an eighty year old busting out with that, is that the hospital we were at is also right in the middle of a college campus and there are many, many young interns there. To be fair, though, in all the times I've been up there, I've only ever seen one hot guy. Sad, isn't it? Then again, should I really be trying to pick up guys at the doctors? That kind of defeats the whole point of going to said doctors.
There are also some things that I learned, I realized, or that had happen over that twenty four hour period. They go as follows.
* I love when game show hosts say inappropriate things. Especially at a doctor's office with a ton of older people watching. It kind of makes my world go round.
* It's okay to admit defeat when you've actually been defeated. Everyone is defeated at some point in their life, but what counts is that you get back up again and keep going. You don't even have to smile. You just have to try.
* Becky and I are very capable of having long, drawn out conversations about how we are confused because someone else is confused. It's pretty hinky and my life loves me. This is just right up my alley.
* My mom's teeny, tiny, almost microscopic purse is heavier than my large one with a copy of Breaking Dawn inside of it. And no, I don't carry Twilight Saga books with me everywhere. I had to have something to do while we sat and waited, although I only read like five pages, and that was after we got back to my Grandma's later. So yeah, okay, I guess technically I did just carry it around for no reason.
* I overheard this conversation exactly. As the receptionist sat at her desk in a very open main lobby of the hospital, she turns and says to a co-worker "I said to my therapist, I want to be three again." She said "No, you can't." I told her, "But that's when my life started going wrong. That's the age everything went downhill for me." I hope she doesn't wonder why she's in therapy. I don't.
*I insulted someone I didn't know without knowing it. I was making fun of my friend and his penchant for wearing girls jeans, cowboy belt buckles and flannel shirts, and apparently some guy standing behind my mother that I could not see was wearing just that. Hey, it's not my fault he dresses poorly. He has to know that's not a good way to dress, right? Oh God, please tell me I'm right!
* There was a guy in the one office waiting room who was in his forties and busy texting when Ellen happened to say "Today on our show we have Kris Allen." This guy's head snapped up and faced the television so fast that I thought it was going to fall off. Then Ellen said "He will be here later." The guy made an ick face and went back to texting. Then, right before Kris came on, the guy got called back. I was amused by him. Scared, but amused.
* There was a comic in the doctor's office that had two cows on it. They sat on the couch staring at the phone, and it said. "There it goes again." ... "And we just sit here without opposable thumbs." It's either so hilarious that it's deadly, or so stupid that it's not funny at all, but the randomosity of it wins no matter how you look at it. Who comes up with stuff like that?
* I was reminded of the story where Aunt Bev used to rubber band her poofy slips way back in the day so that she could get them all in her closet, and one day her father got in her closet only to have the rubber bands break and her slips fly all over the place. When Aunt Bev came home she found him standing there astounded by these slips that were all over the place. He looked at her and said: "I don't know how you control these things. How can own something you can't control?" Then he walked out of the room totally astounded and in shock that he really was just attacked by his daughter's slips. I don't know if I've told this story before, but it was worth repeating.
* I was one hundred percent owned by Greta Hayley. I got her a cookie and she sat down with it only to have it roll under the cedar chest. She started to cry towards it, so I realized what was going on and got up to get the treat out, and then went back to what I was doing. A few minutes later she started looking and crying at the cedar chest again, so I went back over thinking the cookie had taken off again. I got down on the floor, shoved my head up against it, generally looked like a goober, only to find that there was no cookie over there. She punked me. And when I got back up, she barked at me and then ran in circles all excited like. She totally knew she did it. She was proud.
* I was very unfortunately reminded of the time that I had to go to the hospital for a foot injury which involved a 120lb wooden crate coming down no my foot. My grandma also had to go to the same hospital that day for one simple test, so it worked out. That was until Grandma's test results didn't come back so great and she ended up having to have an invasive test done right there and then, and it took about six hours. I couldn't walk, Grandma couldn't walk, and my mom was the only one there to push both wheelchairs. Add my eighty four year old Aunt to the mix, because she just wanted to go with us, and let's just say you had more chaos than one can explain. To make it even better, when we finally got home almost twelve hours later, my Aunt thanked us for taking her because she had a nice day. I LOVE my family. Seriously. They don't usually get along, but everyone gets along with me and visa versa, so from this angle it's a whole lot of funny.
* I saw the word tithe on a church sign and had to google what it meant. I know that's really bad, but it's an old English word. Apparently old English words sound dirty.
Okay, that's all for today. (Thank God, right?) Tomorrow will probably be a short post, but I am planning on posting a picture of my new hair cut. Every time I get my hair cut short people tend to compare me to Alice Cullen from Twilight. Not the movie, but the way she was explained in the book. I can't help it I'm pale and small, and that people told me this prior to me knowing what the heck Twilight was. That picture is coming hopefully tomorrow. There should also be another picture win, too.
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