Six Days

Life is this insane ride of twists, turns, and places to be, things to do. You can map it out, plan, and draw a picture perfect world. You can dream, dance and love, but eventually life will take the turn that it knows you're meant to lead, even if it's where you wouldn't have seen yourself before. This is never where I saw myself, but I'm not complaining.

I haven't had a chance to write for a couple of days. I haven't worked on my novel either. Damn me. I've been documenting my last days in my Twitter, so sadly, I'm going to have to log into it and use it as a reference guide for the past four days. Got to love technology.

I'm going back and seeing when the last time I updated was. It's telling me last Wednesday, so it's been a lot longer than I thought. I've had a crazy week, and with help from my Twitter, if I can remember even half of it, I'll document all that I can. It hasn't all been the bad crazy, but it's definitely been mass amounts of certifiable. This bumbs me out because I was so addicted to my blog, and now I feel like I'm in a rush mass hurry just to update this, because I haven't had the time. I hate feeling this way, because my best work certainly doesn't shine.

Let me be honest, I am lucky I have the internet right about now. I was online earlier and all of a sudden I got a message saying I was blocked out of my own internet. Imagine that, I'm blocked out of my own internet that I'M paying for. I called up good ole' Alex and we concluded that my neighbors got into my internet, as they often do, but this time actually changed the wireless settings to lock me out. Lucky for me, I can hook right up to the router with ethernet cords, which is something they can not do, and override what they had done. I had no idea how, but an hour later, and with Alex's help, we turned everything around on them. We finally blocked the connection so that only my computer will see it and they won't even be able to see the connection at all. No idea how we did it, but it's done. Let's hope this works.

Wow, so I've found my place in my Twitter and realize that this week has just flown by so fast. I have so much to tell. I am double tasking right now, which is not a rarity, but doing it well is. I am currently loading an episode of CSI to watch online because the site sucks, and even with high speed internet, you can't just watch it, while I'm writing this. Damn, I forgot how much I loved CSI, the original one in Las Vegas, not so much the others. No offense to them, of course, but the original cast has something special. (And something to look at. More about this later.)

I guess I'll start at the beginning of where I left off, which is Thursday. I don't know if there was a point to Thursday, or if I just missed it, but I'm thinking it could be both at once. Thursday I was not feeling well, so I woke up later than I would have liked, ate, and by that time I had to be dressed and out the door.

My mom had a job interview and directly after we both had chiropractic appointments at the same place, so I decided to go with her to her job interview, sit in the car and work on my novel with my laptop while she was in her interview, and then we'd both head down to the chiropractor instead of taking two cars. That's exactly what we did, only her interview only took fifteen minutes and I got barely any of my novel worked on in that amount of time.

I decided to wait in the car when I was there trying to write, as I figured a crowded restaurant was a bad place to attempt to get anything done in. I had parked away from everyone else on purpose, so that I wouldn't be disturbed. As I sat there gleefully enjoying my quiet time, a group of people came out and proceeded to congregate around my car and talk loudly. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to open the door and yell at them, but there were more of them and they were bigger than me, so wisely, I did not. What the duck though, you know?

Upon sitting in the car to work on my novel, I whipped out a brand new flash drive, as my others were full and I had some things I had written that needed backed up. Simple enough, right? No, no, no, never. My flash drive was dead in the water, the brand new one that I had just opened, and it did not care. I had bought the same brand of flash drives before and never had a problem with them, but this one was a goner from the beginning. Also, the store I bought it at was refusing a return on it, which was odd, but let's save this tidbit of info for later, shall we?

After having time on our hands and spending it attempting to return a dead flash drive, we made it to the chiropractor. Becky 2 had suggested said chiropractor and it turned out that we really, really loved him. We had never been to him before, but our current chiropractor just wasn't getting us popped in like she used to, so we were forced to switch. I'm happy to report that it's now Monday night and I still feel like I'm really in place. I will be going back.

While at the chiropractor though, I was minding my own business and sitting in the chair waiting for my mom to be done, when the chiropractor looks at me and goes "Sorry if my butt is in your face." I had my head in my Sidekick working on a few things online, but of course this made me look up. The rooms were small and he was bent over working on my mom, and his butt was indeed in my face. It wasn't a bad butt, but he is married, however, had he not said anything, I wouldn't have even have noticed his ass. Love when that happens.

Also while at the chiropractor, my mom told him to go deeper and it took everything in me to not bust out laughing like a puberty ridden teenager. I am such a sixteen year old for someone who is twenty three. It's just not right. I guess I should have been a boy.

After my mom got her adjustment, she attempted to get off the table and ended up getting dizzy, tripping, falling, and sitting on my lap. Now, you have to understand that I weigh in at about 120. My mom is at least 100 pounds heavier than me, so needless to say, and no offense to her, this hurt pretty badly. I can't stop laughing hysterically, however, when I think about it, so I guess it wasn't all bad. Now, every time she makes some off kilter comment towards me, I just look at her and go "but you sat on me." It seems to be working out just fine in my favor, even though I know she hadn't really meant to sit on me. Then, after I say it, I have to walk away so that I can laugh. It's pretty bad.

After the chiropractor, we headed over to a restaurant neither of us had been to, but always wanted to try, as it was in the same complex and a few stores down from where we already were. The food wasn't bad, but it was pretty tasteless, however the entire experience left me wondering what is up with customer service these days. The waitress left to refill my soda, was gone for over ten minutes, and we were her only table, as there was pretty much no one in the place. We could see her standing in the back talking and piddling around. (The use of the word piddling makes me feel old.) Then, she brought my mom her pasta dinner, but brought her no bread. On top of that, we were there for over an hour in an almost empty restaurant with a dinner for two. The service quite honestly, just sucked. I feel bad saying that, but it did, and I'm seeing this more and more lately. It's a sick epidemic.

If I were to default on my customers at any place I worked, I would have been fired, but it seems as if no one cares anymore. What gets me is when people stand around and talk instead of waiting on customers. There's no excuse for it. Now, I'm not saying that all these people need to be fired, but something has to change. You are at work. You are getting paid. This is NOT social hour. I will never understand that, but it reflects badly on the business and also badly on young girls like me, as they seem to be the biggest offenders of this, although everyone does it. I just always feel the need to apologize for the young girls that do it, because I've always been very customer oriented.

True story, I was written up when I worked at Best Buy one time for "helping too many customers." I kid you not. Upon asking the manager who wrote me up if I was still getting my job done on top of that, and him saying "yes," I was unsure of why I was even written up. I could understand if I was defaulting on everything else and only running around asking customers 42.9 pointless questions, but I was not. I would catch each customer and make sure I asked them if they were doing okay, point out where they could find me if they needed me, and then go about re-organizing or whatever else I was doing. Apparently at that Best Buy, the customer was not always first. It was sad, and since new management has taken over, it has only gotten worse. It used to be an amazing place to work, with employees who knew what they were doing. When I quit, I was the twenty first person to quit in three weeks, averaging out to one person quitting a day. No one could stand the way the store was being run anymore, when it used to be an amazing place to work, so I think this goes to show that sometimes it is the businesse's fault, and sometimes that's why the employees act the way they do. On the flip side, sometimes the employees just suck, but either way, something needs done.

I think, a lot of times, this problem goes back on management. This is no offense to any managers out there, because this is not all management, but in my extensive customer service experience, it's been a good bit of the problem. First, sometimes management treats their employees horribly, therefore their employees don't really give a shit and don't care what they do or how they treat people, and neither does the manager, for the most part.

Second, there are the managers who hire people, and just do not pay attention, as they don't really like their job either. I've run into a lot of these offenders. I had one manager that, once she left the store, she turned her phone off. While working there we were robbed at gunpoint and not even the police could get a hold of her. When we told her about it the next day, her response was "oh, well better you guys than me." Needless to say, both of us who had been working that night quit, as well as two other girls who heard about how everything went down. When your manager doesn't even care about the store, or you, then it doesn't make employees stick around for very long, especially good ones.

Third, there are the managers who take no responsibility for their employees, or are too passive. I've run into several of these types of managers before. They let their employees get away with murder and say nothing, even when they see it going on. They just simply turn the other cheek. If you don't discipline or talk to the employee committing the offense, its' never going to change and customers will get fed up with going to your establishment. In today's world, an establishment much the same is usually a mile down the road, so you will lose business. I'm not saying you have to really wail into the employee, you don't, but for a first offense have a talk with them, if that doesn't work, do something a little harsher. Just do something.

There's rarely managers who really do their job, strive to make the establishment better, are amazing with their employees, even sometimes a respected friend to them so the employees still do what they are supposed to, but love their boss as well, and make for an amazing work environment. I've had one amazing manger when I worked at Hallmark. She was a friend to all of us, yet we all respected her, as well as each other, so we got things done as needed. We were all friends there and I know how special that was and how lucky I was to have worked there. I also know the chances of finding another place to work such as that, are slim to none.

Another place I worked, which is the flip side of this, was a vet's office. A friend of mine owned it, but took zero responsibility for the business. He was the owner and only vet there, only had four employees, but never knew what was going on. The girl who ran it was, and yes I do mean all offense to this too, and imbecile. She could screw up a one car funeral, and when she did, she turned it around and blamed in on me and the one other girl who's name I will never be able to spell anywhere near correct, so out of respect for her, I will not. The problem was, the other girl and I were only there part time. I worked there twelve hours a week at night and was a secretary mainly at another business, so it was a part time thing for me. The other girl was there for five hours every two weeks. The things we were getting blamed for were things done during the day when we were not there, and we could not have done them. To make it worse, the office manager had her little minion who she controlled and would go along with everything she said. They would both go tell Doc that we screwed up, when we did not. Luckily, he did nothing about it, because honestly, I think he knew it wasn't us, and he was a friend of mine. I also came to find out after being forced to quit due to health issues, that he really hates his office manager, but because he can never catch her doing anything wrong, he can't fire her, however he does know she does screw up a lot, he just has to catch her. Again though, BAD management, horrible, awful, millions of kinds of suck.

This isn't to say that management is always to blame. There are some people out there that will never be good employees, ever. They're lazy, they do not show up, they sleep through things, don't do their job, and generally don't care. The boss can have a hundred talks with them, and nothing is going to change. Now-a-days, you have to have a damn good reason to fire someone, making it really hard to fire these particular people, as if they even do an iota of their job, it's still considered as them doing their job. I think it's stupid. I know someone personally who is like this. She puts no initiative into things, will call off work saying she's sick when she just doesn't feel like going in, sleeps through her shifts and never calls off, and yet they don't fire her. There is no reason for not firing her, especially when she's consistently not shown up or called, but they don't. I don't understand this. I bad employee is a bad employee. I know we all have our bad days, it happens, but if you have someone who habitually is like one big bad day, then you have to do something. People like that just honestly disappoint me.

This was not where I intended to go with this blog, but CSI is taking longer to load than it should. Am I being too mean? I'm not trying to be, but this irks me, and if it's true, is it really mean?

Let me get back to the point though, I was talking about Thursday. After eating, we proceeded to come home. I was all giddy to watch CSI. I used to watch it all of the time until I started working every Thursday night and no longer could. By the time I had stopped working every Thursday, my mom had started watching Supernatural, as she's not a CSI fan, which is why I never asked her to tape the show, because then she had to suffer through watching it and I had to hear about it. Recently, Supernatural has gotten too gory for her taste, meaning somewhere at one time someone showed some blood, so when I remember, I have regained my CSI night back. This excites me.

Now, last Thursday's CSI wasn't just any CSI. My beloved Taylor Swift was on. She is just a million kinds of awesome and I was so excited to see her act on the show. I had waited weeks for this and could barely contain my excitement. Yes, I have no life, but I admit it. All in all, I loved the episode, I thought Taylor did a good job, and any time I get to stare listlessly at George Eads who plays Nick Stokes, is a good day. More on this later.

I was so excited about the show, that I acted all teeny bopper-ish after, and no, I am not ashamed. Taylor Swift + CSI = the most awesome thing ever for me. Yes, I am working on getting a life.

I went to bed happy that night, but also realizing that I've missed so many CSI's that I'm not totally sure what is going on, thus why I am currently trying to catch up with them online. It's pretty dang exciting. This whole technology thing is pretty useful. I love that now, instead of having to go buy a box set or wait for episodes to re-run in syndication, you can just pop online and pull up episodes of any show to watch. This makes me nine kinds of happy. Although this isn't true for all shows, it is true for most.

Friday rolled around as it always does, and I found myself strapped down with another doctors appointment. Thinking back on this, it feels like just yesterday. I was as nauseated as hell Friday for whatever reason, had to get up earlier than I wanted, and generally wasn't into the day as a whole. However, the day started out pretty interesting. Warning, if you're easily creeped out, don't read on. In all fairness, we are all entitled to our creepy moments.

I woke up in the morning at the exact time I needed to be up in order to get ready on time and leave on time, only to find my mom in the shower. She does this all of the time. I'll tell her what time I'm getting up to get a shower, and she's always in there, or she tends to get ready in my bathroom instead of her own, blocking me from doing said getting ready. This is a pet peeve, but beyond the point.

Within the course of the morning while getting ready, something my mom pointed out the night before came up again. She had mentioned while watching CSI that George Eads, who plays Nick, was looking old, a lot older than he did nine years ago when the show started. Well, yeah, naturally people age. I personally think he looks damn good for his age. This started a debate, which, by text, Becky 1 got involved in.

You see, both Becky 1 and I think he is insanely hot. My mom disagrees now for the reason that he looks like he "got old." Here's the irony. Technically, George could be mine and Becky's dad with the nineteen year age difference. My mom is 55, so how he looks old to her, I am unsure. Shouldn't this be the other way around? Shouldn't my mom think he's hot and young looking, not Becky and me?

I find this hilarious. It's just so wrong, but my mom decided to tell me that she thought we were two creepy twenty three year olds. This sparked me taking a poll of other people my age and younger to see what they thought. Hey, guess what, my mom lost. Everyone I asked either thought he was damn hot, or okay but looked good for his age. From there, I also learned that apparently younger girls find him really hot, woman closer to his age, not so much. Is that not the most bizarre thing in the world? Isn't that like, super major creeper territory? Also, I feel so creepy about it that I won't post a link to a picture of him, but if you want to know who he is, google him. Anyone around my age, feel free to leave your comment after doing so and let me know what you think. Oh hell, everyone join in.

Friday was very much a Leonard kind of day, and if you saw my previous post about Leonard the mouse that finds himself stuck living in my wall, you will understand. However, it was a Leonard kind of day with Aunt Bev involved, and we all know how much I love her, so this left room for a lot of craziness, and oh, did it roll in.

Speaking of rolling in, I am just rolling back in on this blog after literally taking a one day break. I was right in the middle of writing this yesterday when all of a sudden my episode of CSI loaded, and like a child who just saw a really awesome swirly lollipop, I took off gleefully and never returned. Sorry. Now let me pick back up where I left off.

Oh wait, before I do, today I must add something that I learned that goes along with something I wrote two paragraphs up. I also learned that apparently a ton of people believe that George Eads, despite having the same girlfriend for three and a half years, is gay. Now, I don't know him so I can't say he is or isn't, but he never struck me as gay and I have always had an amazing gaydar. Maybe it's off?

I am also listening to Taylor Swift as I write, but will turn it off to proofread. This is a reminder to myself, or else I know this will read much like a comedy. Little known fact about me, I AM dyslexic.

Okay, now I shall return you back to the wonderful world of last Friday. (If I start typing and stop singing.)

My mom and I were not exactly getting along Friday. This was obvious from the time she got out of my stolen shower, and it was continual through out the day. We got into several arguments in front of Aunt Bev who begged us to calm down in a very comedical, threat of no food, kind of way. I felt badly for her.

I made it to the doctors on time, which was a surprise considering the shower incident. I was convinced we'd be late, but we were actually fifteen minutes early. I was really excited to see this doctor because he is the husband of the amazing auto immune doctor I have that is currently out with a troubled pregnancy, and has an idiot filling in for her. Honestly, I wish her the best and I hope she is able to have both of her babies happy and healthy. I am willing to suffer without her and put the auto immune testing on hold as long as she and her babies end up okay. I'm rooting for her and for them!

I was really pleasantly surprised with her husband, but I guess that's not a shock. She is so awesome, that I kind of was hoping he would be too. He came in totally prepared and had talked to his wife about me, so he knew EVERYTHING going on with me, which was just amazing. He really looked me over and basically said that he thinks my stomach isn't emptying quickly enough, like it is supposed to be, so I'm going in for a test this Friday.

He is also going to do an ultrasound on my right side that has been killing me and no one would do anything about it, when his wife believed it was a blood clot, but I never got to see her after speaking on the phone with her, therefore she couldn't send me out to have a test done. They're looking for a blood clot, as well as at my liver and gallbladder. Other than the pain, my symptoms don't seem to read like a gallbladder infection, but we shall see. That will be done two Fridays from now. I will keep everyone updated.

Also, in talking to awesome doctor, I was able to find out more about my low Cortisol level. I don't believe I mentioned this before, but I found out last Wednesday after receiving a call from my Endocrinologist telling me that one of my blood tests came back abnormal. (Surprise there, lol.) I was told that my Cortisol levels were "lower than the doctor expected." I am going in for a test this Friday to find out if it's just as simple as my body not producing enough Cortisol, or if something else is causing my body to not produce enough. I'm hoping it's the first one, as I will be able to take one natural hydorcortisol pill a day, and TA DA!

I found out from awesome doctor though, as I was starting to say, that the normal early morning Cortisol level should be, at lowest, a ten. It's a red flag if it's under a ten, and a warning if it's under seven. Mine was at a five, half of the lowest that it should be. He alerted me to the fact that a Cortisol level that low could very easily cause every single symptom I'm having, including the possibility that my stomach is not emptying properly, and my severe tachychardia. If this all works out, and that's all this is, and I can take one simple pill for it, it will quite honestly be a God send. I will still have the Lupus Anticougulant and the PFO, but those are things that I can deal with, they aren't making me insanely sick. If this is what's been causing my problems for the last ten years, I will be relieved, to say the least. Please pray for me?

I left the doctors office with some hope, but still feeling incredibly crappy and starving. After a huge argument erupted over where we were going to eat, we finally decided to head down to the Waterfront in Homestead. Upon trying to look up restaurants there on the way, I ended up finding out that the Waterfront is actually the site of the bloodiest union battle in the history of the U.S. I had no idea. I had been there several times, but just thought they had turned vacant land into an attraction. I didn't realize that they had tore down a steel mill in the hopes of reviving a town that turned bad when the steel mill initially closed. I'll never think of that place the same way again. I will respect it.

We found our way down to the Waterfront and decided where to eat, only to change our minds. Oddly enough though, Friday was a gorgeous day. After so many months of weather below freezing, it was seventy five degrees. Guess what kind of parking spot we got? First row. Yeah, that never happens when it's cold, but trust me, I was not complaining.

We ended up eating at Dave and Busters, which has awesome lunch deals and we were all happy there. While we were eating, I ended up finding out the WHOLE story behind the New York trip that I had mentioned in an earlier blog, the one in which Aunt Bev asked a guy attempting to rob her what he was saying after he threatened her. I took notes in my Sidekick so that I could share it, so here goes. I also learned more interesting stories about their trip. I don't know if I want to repeat some of them, but I will repeat the more clean ones.

First of all, to clear up some things I didn't know about the trip, my mom and Aunt Bev had only known each other for about five months when they went on this trip together. My mom was looking for someone to go with, Aunt Bev went to church with her and heard about it and volunteered. This means that this trip had to have taken place around thirty five years ago, so this gives me a better timeline. My mom was only in her 20's when she went. Crazy to think that way. This was the trip that made them best friends, they say.

The reason for the trip was that six months earlier my mom had gone to Italy on a tour, and two of the guys in the tour befriended her. They lived right outside of New York City, but had an apartment in New York as their jobs were both there, so just in case they were too tired to make it home, as they had jobs with no set hours (they remember one was a playwrite, and the other an anesthesiologist) they could crash there. They told my mom that she needed to come and visit and she was welcome to their apartment. She decided to take them up on the offer before they revoked it, so six months later she and Aunt Bev were headed that way. This is what got them there.

My mom and Aunt Bev also clearified the fact that the man who threatened Aunt Bev did NOT have a knife that was visible, however he DID threaten to cut her throat. Knife or no knife, only Aunt Bev would ask someone who was clearly threatening her, what she said.

They also told me a story about going to a Greek restaurant and believing the waiters liked them until the waiters came up laughing and said "we have a bet going that the two of you are from Pittsburgh." Sadly, the waiters were right, which only made them laugh harder.

My mom also broke a chair at a playhouse. Apparently she got so excited to meet the cast that she grabbed a chair to move it out of the way and the arm came off.

Aunt Bev also drug my mom into a sex store. I did NOT want further details on that one.

So there we have it, a more clear story about the trip to New York. I'm going to try to find the photo album from the trip and scan some of the pictures so that I can add them to the blog. The problem is, we were all set to move to Vegas last year when I got my flying restrictions put back on, so we were unable to even make the attempt to go look at houses across the country. My health then took an even worse turn, but we were set to go, so we had packed a ton of stuff into boxes and the photo albums were one of those things. I'll go in search of the box one day soon...I hope.

After eating, I just did not feel any better. In fact, I felt worse, so we headed home. Earlier in the blog, I had mentioned my flash drive that was not working. Well, guess what, I had another brand new one and it doesn't work either. I had e-mailed the company the night before about the problem and checked my e-mail once I got home to see if they had responded. They had. Long story short, do NOT buy PNY products. They will come up with every single reason to NOT stand behind their product. When they have zero reason to not stand behind it, such as the product has a one year warranty, you have the receipt, they will just ignore you and stop e-mailing you back. Apparently they KNOW their product has an issue. I would not suggest PNY to anyone. I am going to fight back in the best way I can because I will NOT lose $26 on a defective product. Even the guy who e-mailed me sent an e-mail back stating that he felt they were defective, yet they won't help me. Fraud anyone?

Also, my neighbors decided to start jacking my internet this night so I could barely use it. More on this later, but I was frustrated beyond belief. Thank God for Aunt Bev who brought her awesome foot detox system and we had tons of fun using it!

One thing I learned about my mom Friday was that she can not accept who I am. She's very straight edged, so I guess I could understand if I did drugs, was a lesbian, (Not there there is anything wrong with being gay or lesbian, because there is NOT, but my mother is judgmental of people and would not accept this. I think it's horrible of her! People are people and everyone DESERVES TO BE HAPPY!) or something. No, I couldn't really understand it, but I understand her well enough to know that that's why she wouldn't be able to accept me. She wants me to be who she wants me to be. I will tell her something that I did, or am going to do and she simply will not believe me. She'll tell me that I don't have it in me to do something like that, or worse, I am not capable, when I have done it and am capable. She can't accept me because she doesn't even know me. She doesn't want to know me, she just wants me to be like her. I really hate it. It makes me sad that she will never get to know what kind of person I really am, what I can really do, and never believe in me because she wants me to be someone I am not. It is her loss, but I know clearly who I am and will make the best out of it. I'm looking forward to it!

I was so excited for Saturday because it was supposed to be even more incredibly gogeous than Friday, and it was. I was sick. Boo! I am still running the same fever that started on Friday night and will not go away no matter what. I slept almost all day Saturday. I did wake up with big plans. I wanted to wash my car, take Greta Hayley out for a fun day, just hang out outside. I ended up being up for two hours and getting so insanely sick and dizzy that I had to lay back down and ended up sleeping half of the day away. I was severley disappointed.

The only thing I learned on Saturday is that I really would date a guy in his early 40's if he was fit and a young 40, the kind that wants to go out and have fun, no fuddy duddies. I'm still trying to figure out if that's creepy, and please, no one in your 40's comment on my blog and hit on me or something. I know my life well enough to know that me mentioning something like this really makes it become an open invitation for the crazy. If someone did that, that would make all of this really creepy. I'm just tired of guys my age. They are so immature. They don't know what they want and they play games. I dated a guy six years older than me, and he acted five years younger than me. Ick. I don't even want to think about him. He defined loser, which everyone but me apparently knew and was not shy about telling me when we broke up. I would tell the story of him, but it's honestly not worth the words and time it would take me.

Sunday looked like a promising day. Becky 1 (Okay, from now on in I'm just going to call her Becky. If for any reason Becky 2 would come up, which I don't anticipate that happening again, I'll just call her Becky 2. Cool?) and I had planned to go check out some local cemeteries, see what we could see and feel. We've had luck with this in the past, and it's something to do. Gosh, Pennsylvania really needs to come up with more things for twenty something's to do, or we need hobbies. Sadly, when it's warm, this is our hobby. Only, it chose Sunday to unexpectedly rain. This ruined our plans pretty quickly, because with the rain, it turned cool. Of course, an hour after we went home and got into doing other things, the weather permanently cleared. Bitch! That's right Mother Nature, you heard me!

While at our second cemetery, however, I realized that I am a huge ditz. It was horribly overcast and we walked up a huge sundial that was set in the middle of the cemetery, which we found odd. I took one looked at it and went "is this a working sundial?" I mean really? I could not believe I had just asked that. Of course it's a working sundial. Just because the sun isn't out and I don't know how to catch the shadow otherwise, does not mean it's not working. Sometimes, I even scare myself with the things I say. To meet me, you would probably think I was a real idiot right off of the bat until you got to know me, but I know this. I just say the dumbest things, even when I know how stupid they are. I don't know why I do this. Is there a seven step help program for this? I'd even take a twelve step.

I also realized while we were out that the more boys I meet, the more I love my dog. Carrie Underwood (yes, the American Idol winner, but no that show is not my cup of tea) was correct when she made that popular phrase into a song. Hell, let me just make that the song of the day. The More Boys I Meet by Carrie Underwood off of her second album Carnival Ride. I realize I use a lot of country songs on this blog, and I'm not even that huge of a country fan. I'm picky about my country music, but I do like it. I just tend to listen to more rock, pop, emo, etc. I know, I know. I'll listen to about anything, but rap. No offense to rap. I have no beef with it, it's just not my kind of music.

However, there are two specific songs that have rap in them that I do really enjoy. Since I'm really down on songs of the day here considering I've missed six days of updates, I will add them.

The first one is Murder (I realize this is a myspace, mine to be exact. Hers is too hard to navigate. Scroll down to the playlist on the left hand side and click on "Murder" by Ashlee Simpson. It's the fifth song. I could NOT find the album version of this song ANYWHERE. On the contrary, the original version was EVERYWHERE.) off of Ashlee Simpson's third album Bittersweet World. Rap by Izza Kizza. (Does anyone get his name?) Okay, so it's not one of her strongest songs, this I know. It's got a fun, easy, breezy light feel with heavy lyrics and I like it. The rap in the original version of this song was done by Travis McCoy from Gym Class Heros, but the song changed a ton from that original version. You can find that version here. The version is poor, but it was an online leak, so all the original versions are.

The second song is called Waste My Time and it is by Alexz Johnson off of the Instant Star Soundtrack. Rap by Matthew Brown. This song was made for the television show Instant Star where Alexz Johnson Played Jude Harrison and Matthew Brown played Shay Mills. This is probably the most creative use of rap in a song that I have heard. The whole song is a guitar rift driven rock / pop song, and that continues through the breakdown beneath the rap. It's really unique, I think so at least. Also, check out other stuff by Alexz. She is little known but amazing. And yes, that is the girl who played Annie Thelen on So Weird.

Wow, I am so far off subject. *Hopes back on*

I can't wait to go back and really get a good look around the cemeteries minus the rain. I spent the rest of day packing up the winter stuff and swapping it out for the Easter stuff that was in the garage, which is detached from the house. Once it cleared up, it became a great day to do this.

I really enjoyed my Sunday even though it didn't go as planned. Sunday was the first time in over a year that I felt normal. I didn't feel sick, or crappy, or tired, I just felt normal. I was beginning to forget what that felt like. With that as my backdrop, I thoroughly enjoyed decorating, the kind that still isn't done, and watching a Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon. I also had a frosty float from Wendy's. It was heaven, even though I'm convinced that all my winter stuff bred when I wasn't looking. There seemed to be twice as much of it.

Sunday night wasn't so pleasant, and rolling into Monday morning, I realized I was still running the same stupid fever that had curbed lightly the day before. I was feeling so bad that I slept in the car on the way to the doctors and back. I am not the kind of person who can ever fall asleep in cars, so this worried even my mom. Yesterday was my BIG appointment though, so I couldn't miss it.

I had to go to the heart doctor to get the final word on if they were going to close my PFO or not. The worry has been this; I have LA, which makes my blood thick and causes it to clot, which is obviously bad. On top of that, PFO's sit in the upper ventrical of your heart, so the blood that sneaks through that ventricle does not get to redistribute throughout the rest of your body, but instead pushes up to the brain. The worry was that, if I got a bloodclot and it pushed through that hole, that it would arrive in my brain and have a party, one that would, most likely, kill me. The hole however, is small and the procedure to correct it is one with risks, so they were unsure if they wanted to put me through the risk or not. They needed to figure out which risk was worse, leaving it open, or going into my heart to close it.

After a really good talk with the doctor, they decided not to close it at this time. I have not yet had a blood clot, however I have had a mini stroke. They feel that, because the hole is so small that blood clots are unlikely to slip through it, however the hole being so small is also a disadvantage. My blood is thick and blood does sneak through the hole. If the blood would get too thick I run the risk of blood binding and clotting physically inside of that hole. They're going to keep an eye on me for now, but they really don't think I am at a place where I have any major risks with having the PFO, and that is a relief, because it was definitely something the auto immune doctor wanted checked. They do want me to go to a hematologist, and also call them if the pain in my side ends up to be a blood clot.

For right now, no procedures or surgeries on my heart. *Relief*

There's really nothing worth reporting for the rest of the day, as I slept the rest of it away, then watched more CSI because I ended up being up half of the night, but couldn't do anything because I'd wake my mom. Oh wait, I watched some really bad Sci-Fi movie, and I loved how hard I got to laugh at how cheesy it was. I mean, this late thirties / early forties werewolf was trying to "make it" with this sixteen year old girl and she was falling for it. COME ON! It deserved an award in suck, but yet I still enjoyed the satisfaction of the laughter. I hate to admit it, but I love horrible Sci-Fi movies! They excite me and I have a sick weakness for them.

Today pretty much went the same way. I slept. Ya me! I did finish getting the winter stuff to the garage, and I am going to watch CSI when I am done writing this. I really need to catch up on what I missed. It's just all kinds of awesome.

I don't have enough energy to focus on really writing my novel. I want it to be spectacular, and if I can't focus, and am running a fever, it isn't going to be, so I'm not forcing anything. When it speaks to me again, I'll make it happen. I tend to go into writing frenzies where you can't get my head out of my chapters for weeks on end and I get a ton of things done. One will hit me soon, as soon as this fever breaks. I can feel it.

In other news, I had to have a good talk with Brendon the fish. He didn't pay any attention. Typical. He's been lethargic lately, but he's also kind of old. I hope this doesn't mean anything bad.

It also seems as if I have my internet back from the neighbors, as I haven't had any issues since Alex helped me block them last night. TAKE THAT!

Also, the Denny's "nannerpuss" commercials crack me up. The part where the nannerpuss smacks his own eye and loses it, really makes my day. P.S. - This is an old commercial and Denny's is NOT doing free breakfasts this Tuesday.

Since I already added the song for the day, I think this is all. I know this was an odd, random, badly done blog, but I was trying to get so much in that I didn't exactly have luck with the way that I laid it all out. Gosh, my brain is so friend that I can't even tell about my day properly. How sick is that?

I am off to watch CSI and proofread this while it loads. Yes! Just can't get enough! Hmmm...maybe I'll add a cute clip from the show on here. Yes, I think that's what I'll do. I just have to find the right one.

Before I do that though, I was proofing this while parts of the video loaded, and I fell in love with one of the songs on CSI. I don't know much about it so I will just link you all to the song, since I am unfamiliar with the band. It was just happenstance for me to hear this song. It's called Leave Out All the Rest, which was also the name of the CSI episode I was watching, by Linkin Park.

To physically add video clips to this blog, I have to have the video on my computer, which I do not. All CSI videos I have access to are online, so I will post a link to a clip once this episode is over and I find one....which would be now. I have two actually. This one is just damn funny, however I can not remember what episode it is from. I remember what it's about, but not what it's called. If it comes to me, or I think about it tomorrow, I'll run through the names of the episodes and descriptions to see if I can find it.

The second video is from this season, episode thirteen. I have no idea what's going on, as I'm not on that episode yet in my yearning to catch up. The man on your far left when the video starts who is also the first to talk with his southern accent, and is also the one who goes over to the frier and sees that is it low, is George Eads. (Let's just say this how it is, he's the middle aged white guy who is standing and wearing the CSI uniform that says "Stokes" on the front. Not the guy in the tux, that's brass, not the black guy, not that I'm racist, but that's Langston, not the dead guy, and not the dude on the floor next to the dead guy, that's David.) That's right, he's the same guy that Becky and I think is hot at 42, but come on ladies, isn't he?