On this blog I like to give lots of little quips and tips for making your life funnier. Are they always relevant or useful? Heck no. But if you've got some time to kill, I promise that you'll be left laughing. Today is going to be no exception. And since it's getting closer to Halloween, I thought I'd throw in some tips on how to nicely frighten someone. Yes, folks, it can be done. But first, I must set up this situation for you.
My mom is in real estate. One of the things she likes to do each time she acquires a property is make pamphlets for that property featuring pictures and important information. And by she likes to make pamphlets, I mean she wants me to make her pamphlets. If there is one thing that I utterly despite doing, it is these pamphlets. They're a time consuming pain in the butt. Plus, since I'm not her, I don't know the information about the house or what she wants me to put on the pamphlets, and she's often not around while I'm making them, which just causes a lot of debauchery and annoyance on my part.
Today, however, took my patience for these pamphlets to a new level. To begin with, the pictures had been taken off the camera and edited at my mom's office, but were never put onto a flash drive, so all of the pictures she wanted me to use were on the office computer. I'm at home. To offset this issue, I had to go into her MLS system and save every single one of the pictures off of her listing. That would have been the end of it, except that the MLS system puts these hideous white borders around all the pictures, so then I had to crop them out. I was over two hours in and all I had done was save and crop the pictures and open and begin to set up the template for the pamphlets. I won't get into details, but it just went downhill from there. Getting increasingly frustrated, I realized my urgent need for a laugh. A plot was born.
While I was going through the pictures on the camera and realizing they would do me no good since they weren't the edited versions, I found a picture of the homeowners' cat. Let me explain this one so it doesn't sound uber creepy. In this particular instance I had gone and taken the pictures at the homeowners' house along with my mom. It was more of one of those situations where we were on our way somewhere and she grabbed the camera on the way out the door and decided she wanted to stop. The homeowners' had a kitty that was sleeping in the middle of the bed while I was trying to take pictures. Being an animal person, I went over and started to talk to the kitty in all kinds of crazy baby talk that probably the cat didn't even understand. It eventually came over and hugged my hand...and then immediately took it back by trying to remove my hand from my body. It was a lovely kitty, really.
And that was the exact moment I realized that the kitty was just going to have to be in the pictures if I wanted to keep all limbs in tact, and then find a creative way to hide the kitty in the pictures. Therefore, I ended up with a picture of the kitty, a kitty that later tried to take my mom's hand off, so I didn't feel so singularly unloved.
The homeowner later told us that she had tried to take the kitty back to the where she had gotten it because it was so darn mean with her kids and such, but they wouldn't take it back without putting it down, so she kept it. That might have been important to know before we went in the room with the kitty. Either way, the kitty ended up being the talk of the day, and my mom said that she didn't enjoy how mean that kitty was whatsoever. The next time she turns her computer on she's going to wish she hadn't said that. Since I was annoyed with her pamphlets and had plenty of time to scheme, I figured the kitty was the perfect revenge since it also related to the house.
This is her usual desktop background. It's a picture of our beloved dog Leo, of whom she adores.
This is her new desktop background. Creepy Kitty is merely expressing its distaste for the way it was creatively left out of the pictures on the pamphlets.
I don't plan on telling her about the switch. Did I mention that she has a seventeen inch monitor?
My mom is in real estate. One of the things she likes to do each time she acquires a property is make pamphlets for that property featuring pictures and important information. And by she likes to make pamphlets, I mean she wants me to make her pamphlets. If there is one thing that I utterly despite doing, it is these pamphlets. They're a time consuming pain in the butt. Plus, since I'm not her, I don't know the information about the house or what she wants me to put on the pamphlets, and she's often not around while I'm making them, which just causes a lot of debauchery and annoyance on my part.
Today, however, took my patience for these pamphlets to a new level. To begin with, the pictures had been taken off the camera and edited at my mom's office, but were never put onto a flash drive, so all of the pictures she wanted me to use were on the office computer. I'm at home. To offset this issue, I had to go into her MLS system and save every single one of the pictures off of her listing. That would have been the end of it, except that the MLS system puts these hideous white borders around all the pictures, so then I had to crop them out. I was over two hours in and all I had done was save and crop the pictures and open and begin to set up the template for the pamphlets. I won't get into details, but it just went downhill from there. Getting increasingly frustrated, I realized my urgent need for a laugh. A plot was born.
While I was going through the pictures on the camera and realizing they would do me no good since they weren't the edited versions, I found a picture of the homeowners' cat. Let me explain this one so it doesn't sound uber creepy. In this particular instance I had gone and taken the pictures at the homeowners' house along with my mom. It was more of one of those situations where we were on our way somewhere and she grabbed the camera on the way out the door and decided she wanted to stop. The homeowners' had a kitty that was sleeping in the middle of the bed while I was trying to take pictures. Being an animal person, I went over and started to talk to the kitty in all kinds of crazy baby talk that probably the cat didn't even understand. It eventually came over and hugged my hand...and then immediately took it back by trying to remove my hand from my body. It was a lovely kitty, really.
And that was the exact moment I realized that the kitty was just going to have to be in the pictures if I wanted to keep all limbs in tact, and then find a creative way to hide the kitty in the pictures. Therefore, I ended up with a picture of the kitty, a kitty that later tried to take my mom's hand off, so I didn't feel so singularly unloved.
The homeowner later told us that she had tried to take the kitty back to the where she had gotten it because it was so darn mean with her kids and such, but they wouldn't take it back without putting it down, so she kept it. That might have been important to know before we went in the room with the kitty. Either way, the kitty ended up being the talk of the day, and my mom said that she didn't enjoy how mean that kitty was whatsoever. The next time she turns her computer on she's going to wish she hadn't said that. Since I was annoyed with her pamphlets and had plenty of time to scheme, I figured the kitty was the perfect revenge since it also related to the house.
This is her usual desktop background. It's a picture of our beloved dog Leo, of whom she adores.
This is her new desktop background. Creepy Kitty is merely expressing its distaste for the way it was creatively left out of the pictures on the pamphlets.
I don't plan on telling her about the switch. Did I mention that she has a seventeen inch monitor?
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