Life Unexpected

Lately, I have had a spirit who has been deeply affecting me. She's made me realize that you don't really know anyone or their story, and you can't judge them until you do. She's opened my eyes up to someone's life in a way that scares me, but lets me know that what I'm doing is so important. To keep from revealing her real name, I'm going to call her Little Miss Cupcake Pants, or LMCP for short. I have no idea why I call her that as a nickname, but I do. Because of her, this post is going to be about heartfelt and sentimental things, so if you're not in the mood for a bunch of mushy stuff, hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo eyes, cause they telling lots of mushy stories up in here. I'm sorry, I love this guy. LOVE. I'm so sad he's gay. *Sigh* But I digress, because before I get into all the sentimental stuff, there's a few things I want to address.

The first is that I am officially published as a paranormal author online. You can go here to see the first in my series or articles that I’ve been asked to do. (If you can't access it without having to sign up for an account, let me know and I'll post the article on here.) I don’t know how many more articles there will be in this series; we’ll just have to see how it does and go from there. Let me know what you all think. I can't say enough how much I appreciate the wonderful person who approached me about doing these articles and has been posting them for me. Thank you!

Second, I have to address a comment that Miss Kitty made on my post called The Oompa Loompa Bridesmaidzilla, because it’s one of the funniest comments I’ve ever read in my life. Also, if you’re not reading her blog, you need to be. Anyway, Miss Kitty, I hope you enjoy the Adventures of Mom and Aunt Bev. I’ve actually had people ask me if I’d make Team Aunt Bev t-shirts. It mortifies and amuses Aunt Bev all the same, but she loves that section of the blog. Also, I have pictures of what my mom made me wear in the eighties. It was a terrible, terrible decade. When people tell me they like to dress like they’re in the eighties, I instantly wonder if there’s therapy for that. Maybe that’s mean, but seriously? And, by the way, you’ll be glad to know that they no longer sell this bridesmaids dress. I hope someone protested on the grounds that it had blinded them with all its ugly.

Now I shall move forward with the post. As I said, LMCP has really made me think about a lot of things, and included in that are the things that have happened to me in the past that made me the way I am. LMCP came to me because I had a similar experience in the reverse to her, and I understood what it was like to have someone try and kill themselves and try to stop them, but knowing that I never could. To know that someone is going to do what they want to do because they don’t feel like they have anything to live for is the worst feeling in the world, and LMCP knew I’d understand that. And, in a way, I think maybe helping her will help heal what I’ve been through as well. Sometimes my gift does more than I give it credit for or realize until it is all said and done.

In theory, part of me feels like LMCP and myself were meant to meet, and I know this is why she came to me. The only person I’ve ever loved tried to kill himself more than once. All he wanted was for me to lay down my guard and be with him, and I couldn’t give him that because I was scared. I felt like I had to save him, but I couldn’t save him. Nothing I could give him was enough to save him. Even though I know that the only person you can save is yourself, there’s still a certain something that is engrained in your head telling you differently. It says you have to be a protector, you have to stand by someone’s side, and you have to fight their battles for them. If only that were all possible, but it’s not. The only ones I can help are my spirits, and even then sometimes things go awry. They were once people, after all. They all still have their own distinct personalities attached.

One of the most common questions I get from people is why I do what I do; why I help spirits. It’s because I don’t want anyone’s life to end the way that LMCP’s life has ended; the way that my friend tried to end his numerous times, and there be no closure. What I do isn’t just about crossing over the dead, but allowing the living to move on, too; to know it’s not their fault someone has passed. When people think of a psychic medium, they think of someone who deals with the dead, but a lot of times it’s about healing the living, too. It’s about putting closure to a life ended unexpectedly. Losing someone in your life because of fate and having to find your way without them is the hardest thing to do. I’m just here to make it a little easier if I can.

Over my years of doing this, I’ve also learned that I can’t help every spirit that comes past me. Sometimes helping the spirit will cause self danger to the human who is not ready to hear the truth and can not deal with it. Sometimes bringing closure to a spirit by telling their loved one the message they have is not a possibility. If it destroys the human’s life, then what good did it ultimately do? At times, I have to find a compromise for my spirit, a way for them to cross over and leave the human at peace. Other times, I don’t even know their person. I used to think that was the worst part of this, but I’ve since learned that the worst part is knowing who a spirit belongs to and not being able to tell that person they’re needed. Not a lot of things truly haunt me, but that is one of them.