It's that time of the year again, Squirrel Monkeys. That's right, it's Aunt Bev's 29th birthday...again. So in celebration of that, this post will be all about Aunt Bev and things having to do with Aunt Bev. Yay!
This is Willow. This is obviously a picture of Willow when she was a kitten, but this is still Willow.
Everyone say "aww." Did we all say it? Okay, good. Moving along.
Now, as cute as Willow is, she's a little, well...she's a little like the village idiot. Cute and well meaning, loved by everyone, but in need of a sign. Now I ask you to look at this cute little face again and believe it.
It's unbelievable, right? So let me tell you a few stories about this fun loving, confused gal. When spring started and lovely weather was upon us, Aunt Bev opened her front door so that the kitties could sit and look out at all the birdies in the tree just outside of her glass door. All the little kitties lined up and merrily watched all the little birdies bounce from tree to tree as happy as little larks, pun totally intended. And then there was Willow. Willow was as happy as a little lark, only she was turned with her butt toward the door, her head facing Aunt Bev in the kitchen, her expression saying, "This is cool, Mom. Thanks!" She totally missed the point of the door being open and the birdies outside.
This would be okay if it were an isolated incident and she did nothing else dumb ever again. Alas, that was not the case. When le kittehs were tiny, they would hang out in the mudroom at night, and then in the morning Aunt Bev would open the door and their tiny little bodies would slide under the door when she was opening it, and then jump up the step into the house. Now, they still hang out in the mudroom at nap time, but when Aunt Bev opens the door, their darling little heads are unable to clear it. All the little kitties duck their heads under the door and clear it, then jump up the step into the house. Not Willow. She just keeps moving backward with the door. She doesn't get out of the way of the door or duck, she just follows the door backwards while it opens, and then proceeds to try and figure out how to go around it to get into the house. Aunt Bev says she's dumber than two blocks of wood, a phrase that has become a good part of my semi weekly emails that are awesome. It's not only cats that are dumber than two blocks of wood. You can run and tell that.
Last week, I also regaled you with a story of the reverse shoplifting, accidental kleptomaniac situation that Aunt Bev and myself took part in. Well, now I have another similar story to share with all of you that Aunt Bev shared with me today. One time she was shopping and her bill seemed delightfully low. When she got home and checked her receipt, she realized the store had given her an item that was not on sale for almost free, and that it had been rung up incorrectly. Being the goody two shoes she is, she decided to go back and try to pay the store the right amount. The lady at the register just looked at her like she was nuts and told her nothing could be done and the situation couldn't be rectified, so take her discount and run. And now this is why Aunt Bev is afraid to try and return things she accidentally stole, because she's afraid they'll tell her to keep it and she won't feel right about it. So for all these reasons, wish Aunt Bev a Happy Birthday. I'll make sure she gets it.
This is Willow. This is obviously a picture of Willow when she was a kitten, but this is still Willow.
Everyone say "aww." Did we all say it? Okay, good. Moving along.Now, as cute as Willow is, she's a little, well...she's a little like the village idiot. Cute and well meaning, loved by everyone, but in need of a sign. Now I ask you to look at this cute little face again and believe it.
It's unbelievable, right? So let me tell you a few stories about this fun loving, confused gal. When spring started and lovely weather was upon us, Aunt Bev opened her front door so that the kitties could sit and look out at all the birdies in the tree just outside of her glass door. All the little kitties lined up and merrily watched all the little birdies bounce from tree to tree as happy as little larks, pun totally intended. And then there was Willow. Willow was as happy as a little lark, only she was turned with her butt toward the door, her head facing Aunt Bev in the kitchen, her expression saying, "This is cool, Mom. Thanks!" She totally missed the point of the door being open and the birdies outside.
This would be okay if it were an isolated incident and she did nothing else dumb ever again. Alas, that was not the case. When le kittehs were tiny, they would hang out in the mudroom at night, and then in the morning Aunt Bev would open the door and their tiny little bodies would slide under the door when she was opening it, and then jump up the step into the house. Now, they still hang out in the mudroom at nap time, but when Aunt Bev opens the door, their darling little heads are unable to clear it. All the little kitties duck their heads under the door and clear it, then jump up the step into the house. Not Willow. She just keeps moving backward with the door. She doesn't get out of the way of the door or duck, she just follows the door backwards while it opens, and then proceeds to try and figure out how to go around it to get into the house. Aunt Bev says she's dumber than two blocks of wood, a phrase that has become a good part of my semi weekly emails that are awesome. It's not only cats that are dumber than two blocks of wood. You can run and tell that.
Last week, I also regaled you with a story of the reverse shoplifting, accidental kleptomaniac situation that Aunt Bev and myself took part in. Well, now I have another similar story to share with all of you that Aunt Bev shared with me today. One time she was shopping and her bill seemed delightfully low. When she got home and checked her receipt, she realized the store had given her an item that was not on sale for almost free, and that it had been rung up incorrectly. Being the goody two shoes she is, she decided to go back and try to pay the store the right amount. The lady at the register just looked at her like she was nuts and told her nothing could be done and the situation couldn't be rectified, so take her discount and run. And now this is why Aunt Bev is afraid to try and return things she accidentally stole, because she's afraid they'll tell her to keep it and she won't feel right about it. So for all these reasons, wish Aunt Bev a Happy Birthday. I'll make sure she gets it.
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