The Hot Glue Gun Debacle

Greetings. I've had an absolutely ridiculous day. I don't know about you guys.

I lost my hot glue gun. I know this isn't exactly anything that should cause a person consternation, but after three hours of searching for it, I was consternated. I know that's not a word. Shut up and let me believe it is anyway. And, for the record, spell check keeps trying to change that to constipated. I don't like its language.

Anyway, after three hours of searching, no exaggeration, I called Aunt Bev as a last ditch resort to see if I lent the glue gun to her. This would normally be the part where you all would predict I did, roll your eyes, sigh, and shake your heads simultaneously, and usually you'd be right. This time, however, you couldn't be more wrong. She didn't have it.

While she had me on the phone, we started talking about her email, and that's when I found my hot glue gun...behind my dresser. Look, I've done some stupid things, but flinging my glue gun behind my dresser and going "yeah, this is an awesome place for it," isn't one of them. Now, I suspect I know what happened, but I guess I can't accuse blindly, so I'm going to plead my case to you all and let you decide.

Miss Paramore Wednesday, kitty extraordinaire, has been doing something sneaky lately. When I go to close the door to my room, she sneaks her little paw into the back of the door, making it appear that it has closed, but catching it right before it latches. Then, when I least expect it, and she thinks enough time has passed that I won't notice (and is usually right), she pushes her way into the room and slides under my bed in hopes that I won't notice. I later come back to a kitty sleeping happily in the middle of my bed, conked out and pretending to be all innocent. But I don't think she's innocent. I can't prove it, but it's just an inference.

After I was reunited (and it felt so good) with my hot glue gun, I was able to finish the projects I wished to have had done during those three hours I spent looking for it. I plugged it in, waited for it to warm up and immediately succeeded in burning the skin off of my arm. Never in my many years of using a hot glue gun have I so much as burned myself, even when I was a child crafter, but today I managed to burn skin off. Yep, hell in a hand basket, here I come.

It's fine, though, because the last week has been leading up to the fail of today, and it tried to warn me, but I just didn't listen. Earlier in the week, Penelope Lola (my car) proved to have a leak in her trunk, because why wouldn't her butt leak? Also, while I was trying to clean her back window, I got up on her trunk and proceeded to fly right off the back. I landed on my feet, avoiding an America's Funniest Home Videos worthy moment, but it was my own fault because just that quickly I forgot I had waxed her two days before. I had that coming, I know.

I also realized that, if I were to go to a shrink, I'd need two. What? I'd have to have someone to complain about my shrink to.

But the number one thing that kicked off my week is as follows. As I mentioned before, I helped my mom with an open house Sunday. What I didn't tell you is what happened after. We went back to her office to eat food that was provided by the office manager, because we like free food, and the office manager decided to have a meeting while a lot of people were there. In the middle of the meeting, one of the agents got up and started to interrupt him. When the agent would not shut up, there were comments and office mumblings about if the guy was drunk, since he always interrupts, but shuts up after awhile when he's sober. Since he never shut up, everyone assumed him drunk. And then he came over and tried to be my best friend. Yep, I should have seen today coming, and the week isn't even over yet. Lord have mercy.