Coupons, Fall and Bobcats

This is still not the post I wanted to write with the stories I wanted to tell, but I've been so busy over the weekend that I think that made a story in itself. I will make it kind of short and not so detailed, so hold on to your hats and follow along. Why do I feel like this is going somewhere along the lines of Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam sing-along version?

By the way, am I the only one who watched that and was genuinely shocked that it was worse than the first because I didn't think that could happen? Oh Disney, you've failed me and I even like the cast. Yes, I said I liked the Jo-Bros...as actors. If they didn't sing, I would like them more. I do watch their show. But this is getting way off topic.

This weekend I learned several things about myself, none earth shattering. One is that I am a ninety year old lady in a twenty four year olds body. This is no offense to ninety year old ladies, but I think I could give them a run for their money when it comes to having coupons, ordering free samples and counting change. I did all of these things neurotically on Friday. But it didn't start on Friday. Oh no, it started Monday when I got the mail and there were magazines featuring Labor Day sales and certain stores. I sat for an hour, went through all my coupons, circled the corresponding stuff that was on sale and I had coupons for, and then acted out my plan on Friday. If that doesn't get me into the Red Hat Society, I don't know what will.

We came home with a ridiculous amount of stuff for the animals. Six bags of cat food pretty much says a lot about our household. Seven bags of dog treats does, too. And what did we get for ourselves, you ask? Three bags of groceries. Uh huh. I always wondered who had time to do things like this. The answer is apparently me. Then I came home and cleaned. Rock star life, let me tell you.

For those of you who missed the most exciting part of our day involving someone who couldn't park, would be post it notes and my Aunt that never matches, please see my previous post.

I would also like to let you all know that I have a bunch of coupons for free stuff at various places in the mall that are good for the next three days. Everything is people stuff and you can bet I will be doing a mall crawl only for said free stuff. A life may be needed because I am enjoying this way too much.

Another thing I am enjoying is ranting about and rating hot guys on television. Clearly this means I need a boyfriend, or more guy interaction, especially considering there isn't an abundance of said boys on television. Sorry boys. When it hits the point where the best you've got is rating guys on television, you know you have a problem. Which I do. I just don't know how to fix it and I'm not really dazzled by any guy I've met. It's easier to be dazzled by the people on television. They're not real. They can be what you want. And others are just adorable on their own. I could get into a whole other rant and name names, but I shall refrain. That would be creepy, now wouldn't it?

Saturday I had the house all to myself. I decided to be Little Miss Suzie Homemaker and decorate for fall. In case you all don't know, I love fall. If fall were a boy, I would marry fall in an instant and never look back. The ceremony would be gorgeous, taking place in a sprawling field where the leaves were changing and pumpkins aligned the aisle way. Ah, what can never be.

Anyway, I don't know what fall decorating is like for all of you, but we have more fall stuff than we do everyday stuff, so it becomes a bit of a decorating marathon that requires unpacking tons of boxes, putting tons of other stuff away, cleaning and getting rid of those God awful Styrofoam pieces after pulling the breakables out of their boxes. Or, as my mom likes to spell it, breakabowls. Good try.

Our house is now looking fall-licious, but I was, for the lack of a better word, pooped when the day was done. I love out fall stuff, though. It's adorning everything. Well, it and Brendon the fish who lives in the living room because we felt my bedroom was too secluded for him since he is a beta and he lives alone anyway. Longest run-on sentence ever. There he lies right smack dab in the middle of all the fall stuff. It's a little awkward since he's red and blue; very patriotic, but we appreciate his presence.

I also got two free samples in the mail that day, which pretty much made my week. This is what I've come to; checking the mailbox consistently for free samples. I like free. I like samples. Win.

Sunday Aunt Bev and I went to a craft festival at the local fairgrounds while my mom worked. She was none to happy about this. It was a pretty eventful day, which I'm sure shocks all of you since I've told many Aunt Bev stories on the blog. Let me just highlight a few things.

* Going into the festival there were signs posted everywhere that the only male cashier, Chris, was celebrating his birthday on the same day he had to work. We, coincidentally, got in his line. Aunt Bev asked him if he was Chris. He said maybe and shied away. We gleefully wished him a happy birthday. He seemed delighted.

* The craft festival is supposed to be some kind of colonial festival, which it isn't, but they still request the vendors dress like it is. Therefore, we got to witness a Chinese man dressed in American colonial clothing. He was two different cliches in one. Aunt Bev was talking to me and I literally stopped listening for a second because I was so distracted by this guy. It was awesome. We decided he was the Pennsylvania version of the Chinese guy in the Scottish kilt in one of the Starburst commercials. At least we think he was Chinese. Sorry if we offended a whole culture.

* We tried to buy my mom nuts so she didn't feel left out. Every time we wanted to talk about the nuts, we did so in the most inappropriate sounding way possible and then laughed, which led to a story about balls, naturally. Aunt Bev was at another festival where they were selling honey balls, but you could get your balls without honey. The balls were basically dough balls. A college kid was ordering his balls and instantly Aunt Bev perked up her ears knowing it was going to go wrong. The cashier asked the college kid if he wanted honey on his balls. He turned around and said to his friends, "Did you hear that? She just asked me if I wanted honey on my balls. I think she's getting fresh with me." Aunt Bev laughed, and then we both laughed when she told me the story. We are so mature. You can't deny it.

* While we were there we were asked to all quiet down and stand still. This was odd. And then they called the first aid team to gate two. We were still told to stand still and be quiet. This was even odder. We all stood around for a few and wondered what happened, and then a few minutes later Aunt Bev and I were walking and happened to see a large cat in the back of a white van in a cage. We thought maybe it was just part of one of the shows they had going on, until we got closer and saw that it was a bobcat in an animal control van. We're assuming that's what happened at gate two and they tried to get us to stand still and called a medical emergency as not to panic anyone and have an incident. Bobcats don't normally attack anything larger than a small cat unless they are scared. Ironic, I know. For those of you that don't know quite how out in the boonies we live, a bobcat wandering into a state fairgrounds during a festival should give you some idea.

* I made the poor decision of stopping to listen to what some guy had to say about his book. This was a mistake. This guy pretty much told me his entire book so that I didn't have to buy it. I couldn't get away from him and Aunt Bev left. She later apologized and said she knew that guy would suck us in and we'd never get away. This worked out well, though, because I look younger than I am, so I just used the excuse that I couldn't be separated from my Aunt once I could get a word in...ten minutes later, and then I took off.

* There were lots of free sample all over the fairgrounds, but my favorite was the fudge samples. While we were waiting for our fudge, one gentleman with a hat said the fudge was so good he was going to have to keep coming back for his free samples. I told him to start putting his hat on backwards and come back. Next time he should take it off and come back. It kind of went from there and I still wonder if he tried it and if it worked. If not, we still got a good laugh out of it.

* Aunt Bev got her new car and we had a hard time finding it in the field that they call a parking lot. Seriously, every car is a silver-white. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Of course, Dr. Reid from Criminal Minds seems to think that a needle would stick out in a haystack, so your better analogy is "it's like looking for specific needle in a pile of needles." Then he'd laugh about it. Why does he have to go and ruin all the good analogies?

* Aunt Bev bought me an early birthday present. It's a vintage looking necklace that is so me. I'm not big on wearing jewelry because I can never find anything that is me. This necklace is. As soon as I get a chance I'm going to take some pictures in my vintage clothing with my amazing new necklace and post them on Just A Vintage Girl. I can't wait!

* We walked the whole fairgrounds and lazily looked for hot guys. The hottest guy ended up being the security guard on our way out, who was in a dead heat with Chris on the way in. We weren't thrilled with either, but it was kind of ironic that the hottest people there were the ones at the gate. If we were just going to look at hot guys, we could have gone no further than the entrance / exit.

* Afterwords we went out to eat. There's no big story here except we got sat right up against a party of fifteen. These people were the quietest group of fifteen in the entire universe. This is not an exaggeration. I mean, they were talking amongst themselves, but were in no way disruptive. I wanted to hug them and compliment them. I refrained because I thought it was weird and didn't really want to be labeled a perv or anything.

* While we were at the restaurant, we also saw a kid around my age playing with a little girl that wasn't his; it was his friends' who he was with. He just loved that little girl like she was his own and he was cute, too. Aunt Bev and I are wondering where we can get one of him each. I am wondering why I didn't talk to him. Ah, shyness, you never, ever fail me. Damn you! Take a vacation, why don't you?

Yesterday was compounded of all kinds of awesome because there was a big surprise waiting for Aunt Bev, my mom and myself. I can't tell you all the big surprise just yet. Tomorrow I will be taking pictures of the big surprise, and then I will update with the cute little story and the pictures as soon as I get a chance after that. I also have some great pictures of Greta Hayley sleeping with a stuffed animal for "Greta Hayley Say." Stay tuned. It's going to get fun!